Change One Thing
by PhoenixRN
Summary: He will stop at nothing to go back and right the wrongs that altered his existence. A young girl, a speeding van, and a heartbroken geek determined to save her- 4 years later. Twilight with some Butterfly Effect thrown in. AH ExB, rated for dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

2012

The ceaseless pounding on my dorm room door made me groan out loud in frustration. I was too busy for this now, in the middle of a complicated problem. My bed was awash in loose papers and textbooks, my side of the room in complete disarray. The general state of disrepair in my room made it no place for company, not that I cared much. I was on the verge of something big.

"Busy!" I muttered, not sure if I was loud enough for them to hear. I stuck my graphite pencil between my teeth and ground down hard on what little yellow paint was left on it. It was my way of trying to focus, a habit I'd had since…

Well it was a habit I didn't care enough about to try to break.

The door opened regardless, and my roommate, Jasper, stuck his head in the door. At least he tried to respect my boundaries. He'd agreed to stay out of the room for the evening, and he was supposed to be staying with his girlfriend Alice so that I could study. Of course the people who had conned him into opening the door for them had no such respect for boundaries.

The last people I wanted to see were on the other side of the door. As it swung open, I saw my sister, Rosalie, standing tall with her arms crossed over her chest in irritation. Her boyfriend, Emmett, stood by her side faithfully, just as he always did. They both looked at me expectantly. Honestly, I don't know why they even bothered anymore.

Rosalie and I were "Irish twins," just three hundred sixty days apart. Despite our closeness in age, she was my complete opposite. While I was shy and awkward, she was loud and boisterous. She was tall and blonde, and I was average, lanky, and redheaded. While I preferred to study, she preferred to party. And when it came to our parents, they didn't try to hide the fact that they liked her best. I think they'd given up on me.

But Rosalie hadn't. Every weekend without fail, she and Emmett stood at my door, demanding that I go and "socialize." I rejected their ideas of socialization. I was in no mood to visit some frat party and drink my weight in beer, only to lose consciousness and wake up feeling like a truck had passed over me.

Or so I've read. I've never actually experienced it myself. In my third year of college, I never once tasted a drop of alcohol, nor saw the need to do so. I can't even explain in words the look on my sister's face when I recently chose to spend my twenty-first birthday surrounded by books, rather than beer.

"Come on, Edward," Emmett said gently. "You promised you'd come out with us tonight. You have to leave this room sometime."

"I do leave the room," I muttered, keeping my eyes fixed on the notes in front of me. They had interrupted my train of thought, and with much irritation, I feared I would have to start over.

"Going to class doesn't count. Come on, let's go."

"Just go on without me," I insisted, glancing up at them with a pleading look. "Maybe next time."

Rosalie frowned then, her expression turned from one of annoyance, to one of concern. "Edward… what are you working on?" she asked tentatively, eyeing the notes across the bed.

"I'm on the verge of something big," I told her absently, sparing her only a fleeting glance. "I can fix this."

A tear escaped from the corner of Rosalie's eye, as she worried for me. It was the same thing, every time we talked about my work. "Edward, I thought we got past this. You can't fix this. You can't change the past."

"Edward, man," Emmett said, shaking his head. "I still don't understand. You hardly knew her."

I clenched my fist, the already abused pencil snapping in two from the pressure. "Shut up," I growled, jumping to my feet, feeling the blood rush to my face as I seethed in anger.

"Edward, I'm going to call Dad. You can't keep doing this!" Rosalie said, more tears escaping.

"You don't need to fucking call him!" I shouted. "I'm fucking fine. I've almost got it."

"Edward… you're delusional," Emmett interjected. "It's time someone told you that. You can't go back and change what happened."

"I have to," I said, leaving no room in my tone for argument.

Emmett frowned, wrapping his arm around a still crying Rosalie and rubbing her back gently. "Just tell me why," he said. "Like I said- you hardly knew her. It was five years ago. You've got to let this go."

"You don't fucking understand!" I shouted, getting right into Emmett's face. Even if he was a good five inches taller than me, and twice my size, he no longer intimidated me. I had nothing to lose now.

Emmett growled under his breath, but managed to keep his voice steady. "You think I don't understand?" he asked through gritted teeth. "She was my fucking sister! Don't you think I would give anything… everything… to bring her back?"

Rosalie's sob caused them both to turn their attention to her, my rage subsiding as I took in her trembling form. She never took well to raised voices or fighting.

"I'm sorry, Rose," I admitted, knowing I needed to watch my temper around her. "I'm just not in the mood to go out, tonight, okay? Maybe next time."

"Yeah," she muttered. "Next time. Just take care of yourself, Edward."

I wrapped my arms tentatively around her. As she hugged me back, her cheek pressed against mine, and I could feel wetness between our faces. I sighed when I realized she was still crying.

"Edward!" she gasped in horror as she pulled away. I noticed that the cheek that had been pressed to mine was now smeared with a trail of blood. "Shit! Call 911!" she exclaimed frantically

"Is he having a seizure?" Jasper asked, his voice laced with panic. I heard the faint sound of buttons on a cell phone being dialed. I didn't even realize he was still here. What on earth would make him think I was having a seizure? I was still upright, for goodness sake.

"His ear is bleeding!" Rosalie cried, her voice coming out as a strangled sob. "What the hell is going on?"

I put my hand up to my ear and was surprised to feel that the moisture I'd felt on my cheek was actually blood. "Relax guys, I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt. I must have punctured my eardrum somehow. I'll go to the hospital to see Dad. It will be fine."

"Let me drive you?" Jasper asked insistently.

"Yeah, okay. I promise that I'm alright though." I rolled my eyes internally at their panic. I knew it wasn't exactly normal to have blood tricking from one's ear, but I felt fine, with only a slight headache to indicate anything was wrong.

As we left for the hospital, my thoughts turned immediately back towards my work. They always told me the same things.

_You cannot go back and change the past, Edward. It's impossible._

_Edward, it's too late. She's already gone._

_You barely knew her. Why are you so obsessed with this?_

_You cannot go back in time. It defies the laws of physics._

The last one made me snort in amusement. What kind of Physics professor actually believed in the impossible?

_Can't go back?_ I'd just have to see about that.

* * *

Anyone interested in seeing where this goes? Please leave a review... I'd love to hear from you!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

**2008**

On a Friday in early March, when wet snow was falling in thick globs from the sky, a small town on the Olympic Peninsula was abuzz with the biggest news to hit for at least twenty years.

Today, Emmett and Isabella Swan would be starting school at Forks High. It was the only thing anyone in this town had talked about for weeks. The kids were seventeen and eighteen, coming from Phoenix where they lived with their mother the last few years.

I only had vague memories of the two of them, though I'd lived in Forks, in the same house, for my entire life. I know that they visited the every now and then over the summer, but from what I can remember, they spent most of their time with the Chief's fishing buddies out on the Quileute Reservation. For the last couple of years, Charlie disappeared for a couple of weeks to see them somewhere else, though I'm not sure where, or why.

Not that it matters to me. It annoyed me that the town was going on about these two like they were local celebrities. I guess two new residents was the most exciting thing that happened around here in a long time. The rumors were already flying, and I tried not to listen to them.

I think I was the only one not excited about their arrival. My mother was especially thrilled to have new blood around town, hoping that I would branch out and make new friends.

I had just finished getting ready for school when my bedroom door slammed open without so much as a knock. I knew who it was instantly, the only one I knew brazen enough to barge into one's room without the courtesy of announcing their presence.

"Alice," I grumbled in greeting, as I shoved the last of my heavy textbooks into my worn bookbag. Alice was my older sister's best friend in the world, and for some reason Alice felt that by extension, that made me her friend was well. I suppose she was really the closest thing I had to a friend. I was more of a loner; I preferred to keep to myself. Alice was a nice person, but too pushy for my liking. I could take her only in small doses, and only if I was in the right frame of mind.

"Hey, Eddie," she squealed, and I grimaced at the nickname. I was tired of reminding her that I preferred my given name of Edward. "I'm not going to have time to come by before the party tonight, so I thought I'd pick out your clothes now, that way when you get home you can just put them on."

"I don't need you to pick out my clothes," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"Nonsense," she said, helping herself to my barely filled walk in closet. "Ugh!" she cried. "There is just nothing suitable in here. I'll just have to work in a shopping trip before the party."

"What party?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Duh, the welcome party for the new students. It's tonight!"

"They just got in yesterday," I pointed out. "Do they even know there's a party being thrown in their honor?"

"Doubt it, but they'll find out soon enough."

"It doesn't matter anyway. You don't need to go shopping. I probably won't go anyway. You know I don't do the whole party thing."

"Well, you don't really have much of a choice on going to this one. It's here."

_Oh hell,_ I grumbled to myself. She was right. If the party was in this house, I had little chance of getting out of it. Of course I could spend the evening in my room, but Rosalie would just drag me out of there. Maybe I could just get out of the house, maybe visit my favorite meadow, which was just a few hundred yards from the wooded area in the back of our house.

Or I could suck it up, be a man, and endure a party for one night.

I shuddered. Beer, jocks, awful music, bodies crammed together. There wasn't a single teenager in all of Forks that would miss one of Rosalie's parties. I would just have to endure it.

Alice trailed on my heels, talking nonstop about the party as we made our way down to the kitchen. My mother was there plating breakfast, setting out an extra plate for Alice. "Good morning, dears. Alice, good to see you as always."

"Thanks for breakfast Mrs. C!" Alice exclaimed, sitting down and digging in as if she'd never had a proper breakfast before. My mother knew that Alice's parents weren't always around very much, and that whatever they weren't able to give her in love, they gave her in expensive gifts. For this reason, every time my mom caught a glimpse of her obnoxious yellow Porsche in the driveway, she always made sure to make extra food. At least it didn't go unappreciated.

"Where's your sister?" my mother asked me, as she set a glass of orange juice on the table in front of me. I shrugged in response.

"She was still in the shower when I came in," Alice explained. "You know how she is, always running late."

Rosalie wandered sleepily into the kitchen then. Bleary-eyed, she reached in the cabinet over the sink for her favorite coffee mug. It wasn't until she was settled and had several sips of coffee in her that she acknowledged anyone else at the table. "Morning," she mumbled, yawning.

Rosalie was the queen bee of Forks High and she knew it. As her coffee mug so proudly stated, she was _'so not a morning person'_, but once she stepped foot onto campus, people would literally be fawning all over her, and she ate that shit up. She was a good person, though, and I loved her a lot. She and Alice never excluded me from anything, always trying to get me to hang out with their friends and go out with them after school, but I always refused.

They just couldn't seem to comprehend that I'd rather talk to my left foot than those automatons they called friends.

I'd tried before to "fit in", when I first started high school. It didn't take long for me to figure out that I was just the butt of everyone's jokes. I became the victim of one too many pranks, and people always talked behind my back about Rosalie's "poor little geeky brother." I didn't really care. It was better to be alone than to be ridiculed constantly for being a little different. Besides, my self-imposed isolation from society gave me more time to focus on the things that were important to me- my music and my studies.

Rosalie and Alice finished their breakfast and left for school a few minutes before I did. They liked to socialize before class. I, on the other hand, preferred to just get there before the first bell, as long as I was on time. They drove off in Alice's Porsche, which only sat two. I always thought it was a little ridiculous that three people going to the place had to leave in two separate cars, but neither of them would be caught dead in my silver Volvo.

My father, who was the town doctor, actually laughed when he took me to the dealership on my sixteenth birthday. As a reward for my consistently good grades, he told me I could have my pick of any car on the lot. Instead of a fast Mustang or a shiny red BMW like Rosalie had picked out the year before, I chose a modest, middle of the line Volvo, my choice based solely on the safety ratings. When I asked why my father was laughing, he just smiled and patted me on the back and said, _"That car is just so… you."_

As I was making my way out the door, my mother caught me by the arm. "Edward?" she asked tentatively.

"Yes?"

"I heard there are new kids starting school today. It would be just lovely if you would make them feel welcome? Maybe make a couple of new friends?"

My dear, sweet mother was always worried about me. "I'll try," I told her to ease her mind, though I had no real intention of going out of my way.

"You know I just worry about you," she continued. "Just try to open up a little, okay?"

"Okay," I sighed, shuffling my feet impatiently. She gave me a hug and I returned it awkwardly, then made my way out the door.

As usual, I arrived at school just before the first bell, and thankfully missed the grand entrance of Isabella and Emmett. I did notice a huge red pickup truck in the parking lot that I'd never seen before; it was a beast, and it was old. I figured that belonged to the Swan kids. Even though I missed their arrival, I didn't miss the gossip, and I tried to tune out how "hot" the girls all thought Emmett was, or how clumsy the new girl was.

I heard, though I wasn't trying to listen, that she tripped up the steps on the way to the front office first thing that morning. Poor girl.

It wasn't until fourth period that I saw either one of them. Emmett, even though a grade ahead of me, was in my Algebra II class. I was one of only two Juniors in that class. The other was Angela Weber, a shy, sweet girl who always wore cat-eye glasses. People always tried to hook us up, thinking that we'd be the perfect geeky couple, but she was with Ben Cheney, and the pair was inseparable. I did like Angela, although I wouldn't exactly classify us as friends.

Emmett already seemed to fit right in. He was built like a brick house, at least six feet four inches of solid muscle. People seemed to flock to him, much like they did to Rosalie. I was sure he would try out for football or something. He would no doubt fit in with the "in" crowd, so I made no effort to try to speak to him. He looked like he had enough friends already.

I skipped lunch entirely, which was not uncommon for me. I chose to spend my free hour in the library, cloaked by a stack of books, focusing on my Physics homework. Biology was next, then Spanish, and then thankfully I could go home.

I arrived to Biology early, and took my usual seat in the back. I didn't have a lab partner, but I was usually able to handle the labs alone anyway. Science was always my best subject. While Biology was required, I took Physics as my elective, trying to pack as many science courses under my belt in preparation for college, where I planned to major in Theoretical Physics.

The classroom was nearly full before _she_ came in, turning my world upside down.

Isabella Swan walked into my classroom, and I stopped breathing for a moment as I took her in. She was beautiful- a goddess. I've never even noticed girls before, but something about her made my heart beat faster, and made me want to be near her. Her long brown hair shined under the fluorescent lights, and I itched to run my fingers through it. Her eyes were what really captured my attention though; they were wide and expressive and a beautiful shade of chocolate brown. She had a beautiful blush that filled her face as she looked timidly around the classroom. I could tell she was shy, and I instantly wanted to make her feel welcome.

She stepped in front of the large fan in the front of the classroom, which caused her hair to blow in my direction. Instantly, the delicious scent of strawberries and freesia invaded my senses, and I was a goner. My body responded traitorously, especially as I realized she was coming right towards me.

Embarrassed, I threw a notebook onto my lap to hide my… response… to her. I barely breathed as she sat next to me.

"Hello," she said timidly. "I'm Bella."

And I froze. I couldn't force myself to speak. So many different ways I could have handled our first introduction, and I was stuck frozen, with a painful erection and a grimace on my face, unable to form words. I could only grunt at her and force myself to focus on the lecture. Every time I thought I had myself under control, she would unconsciously fan her hair in my direction and I'd be lost again.

I wanted to hate her- because the thirty seconds it took her to walk into the room, get her slip signed, and sit next to me, she managed to dissolve my perfectly constructed walls.

As I tried to focus on the material, my mind kept shifting to the siren next to me. I wondered how soft her skin would feel under my hands, what it would feel like to press my lips against hers. I wondered what she tasted like. I couldn't ignore the hum of electricity I felt between us. These feelings were foreign to me; I'd never felt this way before.

That class was the longest hour of my life. When the bell finally sounded, I darted out of the classroom, not sparing her another glance. I spent seventh period in the restroom, ashamed of my inability to control myself around her.

When the final bell had sounded, I quickly made my way to my car, but forced myself to slow my pace when I saw Alice walking ahead of me. I didn't want to make idle conversation with anybody. I just wanted to go home.

I stopped short when I realized that Alice was talking to _her. _Still ashamed of my previous behavior, I quickly hid behind a tree when I realized they were stopping too. They were just close enough for me to hear, and I hoped that the tree concealed me completely.

"But it's a party in your honor!" Alice was busy whining. "You have to come. Emmett is going."

"Umm, yeah, okay," Bella said uncomfortably. "I guess if my brother is going I can come too. At least I'd know somebody there."

"You know me too, silly. Oh, and I simply must introduce you to Rosalie's brother Edward. I think you two would be perfect together!" My mouth dropped open in shock; I couldn't believe she was actually trying to set me up.

Bella blanched, and I could tell she was uncomfortable. "Which one is Edward?"

"He's the tall one with the most amazing shade of reddish-bronze hair and big green eyes. You can't miss him!"

It didn't escape my notice that Alice had failed to mention my less admirable attributes- the thick glasses, the acne, or the fact that I had the muscle mass of a teenage girl.

I tried to ignore the fact that I was acting like a complete stalker as I waited with my breath held for her response. I tensed as I imagined what other girls would, and have, said. _"Eww, Edward Cullen, the geek?"_

But she managed to surprise me.

She fumbled around awkwardly with the strap of her backpack for a few moments before she stammered, "I met him already. I don't think he really likes me that much."

My heart fell. Was that really the impression that I'd given her? I decided I needed to make it right, tonight, at the party.

It suddenly became my highest priority to get to know Bella Swan. I wouldn't fight these feelings coursing through me. I wanted to make her mine.

* * *

**A/N-** I can't thank you all enough for the awesome reviews I got from just the prologue. You all rock my world- thank you so much! The next couple of chapters will take place in the past, and then we'll head back to the prologue. Thanks for giving this story a chance!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

**2008**

When I got home, all I wanted was to be alone, so I grabbed my schoolbooks and headed straight to my meadow. It was only a five-minute walk from my house, and once I was there I laid down in the grass, soggy from the previous day's snow. The meadow was beautiful in the spring, with flowering plants lined with lush green trees. Now it looked barren, with wet, brown grass and leafless trees. It was still I place I could be alone with my thoughts, so I as I took in the solitude, I rewound the day's events in my head.

I couldn't believe what a terrible impression I made of myself. The more I replayed the events in my mind, the more I realized how bad I must have looked in Bella's eyes. No wonder she told Alice that she thought I didn't like her much.

I finished my homework, which didn't take as long as I would have liked, then packed up and made my way back to my house. I set my bag at the foot of the stairs and walked to the kitchen to grab a soda, when I accidentally stepped right into a heated conversation between my mother and sister.

"Rosalie- I said no!" Esme exclaimed, frustration clearly evident in her tone of voice. They'd probably been going at it for a while. "I don't want that boy in my house, especially when I'm not going to be home."

She must have been talking about Rosalie's boyfriend of two years, Royce King. Esme never liked the fact that they were together, and all but forbid them dating.

"I don't get what you don't like about him! Why are you doing this to me?"

"I just don't trust him, Rosalie. He's bad news. Besides, you shouldn't be with a college guy anyway."

"We met when we were both in high school. I'm eighteen now, you can't tell me who I can and can't see!"

"That might be true, but I can tell you who I will have and not have inside my home. I'm sorry, Rosalie, the answer is no."

Rosalie let out an exasperated sigh then stormed out of the kitchen, brushing past me without seeming to notice I was there.

Esme sighed and put her head in her hands. "You okay, mom?" I asked, taking in the tortured expression on her face.

"Fine," she said quietly. "I just don't trust that boy. Maybe I'll just stay home tonight."

"I didn't realize you were going out."

"I wasn't, but Carlisle's shift got cancelled at the last minute. That almost never happens. We hardly get time to go out, just the two of us. I didn't want to cancel the party, but I think you are both grown up enough that I can trust you with the house. There will be ground rules of course. No drinking, and no Royce."

"Got it," I said, though I didn't know how I could really stop Royce King from coming inside if he tried to come over. I just hoped Rosalie would listen to Esme's decree and not invite him at all. However, since Royce had gone to Seattle for college, she hardly saw him anymore, and if he was going to be home this weekend, there was no way Rosalie would waste a minute not seeing him.

Rosalie thinks she's in love. I think he's a douche. So do my parents, and they haven't even tried to hide that fact. Royce King had a certifiable God complex. He was rich, and good looking, and knew he could have any girl he wanted. Of course he set his sights on my sister.

"You could always just push the party back a day," I thought out loud. "I mean, the new kids just got here yesterday, the party can wait."

Esme chuckled softly. "Rosalie and Alice have been planning this party since before they even knew Isabella and Emmett were coming. The new kids are just a convenient excuse. They didn't want to tell you until the last minute because they both know how much you hate parties. The plans have been in the works for weeks."

I simply shrugged. "I promised to make an appearance. I can't promise to have a good time."

She smiled sadly. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked, effectively changing the subject. I nodded. "Grab that box from the high shelf in the living room closet for me and put it in my bedroom. I'd like to sort through it this weekend. It's not heavy, but you got your height from your father, I'm afraid."

"Of course," I agreed, taking a sip and setting down my soda. Esme had a variety of hobbies, things she did to take up her time now that Rosalie and I were grown and didn't need her so much. Her latest project was scrapbooking, which was no small task for her. She had nearly twenty years worth of photos and mementos to go through, a box at a time.

She followed me to the living room, and as I was reaching up for the box, she asked, "So what did you think of the new kids?"

"I didn't really have the opportunity to meet either of them," I said, knowing full well that was a lie. I did have the opportunity to meet Bella, but I didn't feel like sharing with my mother the embarrassing details of our first encounter.

"Oh well, I guess you'll meet them tonight, then."

She followed me up the stairs, and as I made to set the box on the foot of the bed, the bottom broke free, scattering pictures and loose papers all over the bed and floor.

"Shit!" I muttered quietly. "I'm sorry. I'll help you clean it up."

"It's not your fault, dear. I believe that box is quite old. I can't even remember everything that's in it," she said, bending down to gather pictures.

We chatted idly as we picked up pictures and placed them in piles. I had to ask every now and then where a picture went. Some of them were from before I was even born. I stopped short when I picked up a picture of myself, probably about a year old, in the arms of a man I didn't recognize.

"Hey, mom? Who is that with me in this picture?" I asked her curiously.

Esme paled as she looked at the photograph. "Oh, Edward," she whispered. "That isn't a picture of you. That little boy is named Henry. The man in the photo is his father."

"I don't understand. He looks just like me." The boy in the picture had the exact same shade of red hair as I did, and the same bright green eyes. He looked exactly as I did in baby pictures.

"Edward… Henry was your half brother. I didn't mean for you to find out this way. I always meant to tell you and your sister about him, but the timing just never seemed right."

"You said he _was_ my half-brother," I said, shocked at the revelation. "What happened to him?"

"He died," she said quietly, looking down at her hands. "I think you need to hear the whole story."

"I'm listening," I said softly. The pain so evident on my mother's face made me not even sure I wanted to hear the story.

"I was married before I married your father. His name was Charles Evanson, the man in the picture. He was a family friend, and our parents all but pushed us together. After the vows were said, though, he became a very different man than the one I knew as a child. He beat me, Edward."

"Oh, Mom," I started, but she held up a hand to silence me.

"Please, let me finish," she said, taking a shuddering breath. "After the beatings started, I told my parents; I begged them to let me move back home, but they refused. They said I was exaggerating. When Charles got wind of the fact that I tried to return home, the beatings just became worse.

"Eventually, after a year or so of this, I became pregnant. I thought that Charles would be happy, and that things would be better if we could try to be a family. They were for a while. He didn't lay a hand on me while I was pregnant. After Henry was born, that changed. I was afraid to leave him, because I knew that he would find us. I was scared and had no place else to go, so I stayed… I'm so ashamed."

I reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it, giving her the silent encouragement she needed to go on.

"I didn't realize it at the time. I should have seen the signs. I never should have left Henry alone with Charles," she cried, tears running freely down her face. "One day, when Henry was just over a year old, I was out grocery shopping, and I came home and Henry was blue. He'd been dead for some time. I called 911, but it was too late. He'd been crying a lot- he had terrible colic- and Charles had enough, and he shook him… to death.

"The police wouldn't even arrest him. They said they couldn't prove any wrongdoing, that babies died of SIDS all the time. I knew it wasn't the case. I was so distraught, that I drove straight from the hospital to the cliffs at La Push and I threw myself over the edge. I survived, obviously, not without several broken bones. Carlisle was my doctor. What an awful first time to meet. But he saved me, Edward. In more ways than one. Last I heard, Charles died of liver failure from his excessive drinking. Good riddance."

"Jesus," I muttered, pulling my mother into my arms. I wasn't mad that she never told me. On the contrary, I was sorry I even asked. I loved my mother, and the fact that this photo had dredged up such painful memories for her tore at my heart. "I'm so sorry, Mom," I said, trying to keep my voice soothing. "I would take it all away for you if I could. If I could go back in time, I'd kill that bastard."

"Oh, Edward, no," she said, pulling away and hastily brushing her tears. "You can't change the past, but even if you could, I'm not so sure I would change anything."

"What?" I asked, confused. Why wouldn't she want to erase the thing that caused her so much pain?

"Because," she said, forcing a smile. "If I never met Charles, I wouldn't have had Henry, and I wouldn't have had the blessing of witnessing the first year of his life. Had I not attempted suicide, I probably never would have met Carlisle. If I hadn't met Carlisle, I never would have been blessed with you and Rosalie. Don't you see, son? Everything must happen for a reason. Erasing the bad things would erase all the good things in my life too. You have to take the good and the bad."

I frowned, taking all this in. I wasn't one to normally believe in fate, but the woman did make a good point.

Huh. I'd have to think about this.

~C.O.T.~

"Edward Cullen, what did you do to Bella Swan to make her think you don't like her?" Alice demanded, glaring at me.

"Nothing. I was just shy. I didn't talk to her, that's all."

"Oh, Edward," she sighed. "I'm going to have to work overtime to fix this. Anyway, I set out your outfit and I expect you downstairs, ready to party, in one hour."

"Yes, Drill Sergeant," I answered in my best Forrest Gump impression, as she fluttered out of the room.

"She means well," Rosalie said, laughing. "I know you don't really care for her, but you're a good sport for putting up with her."

"She's just a little overbearing. I wish she wasn't so determined to have me at the party."

"She likes you. She just wants you to hang out with her friends. Royce is coming, by the way," she told me. "Please don't say anything to mom or dad."

"Please," I scoffed. "I may be a geek, but I'm not a narc. I don't care what you do."

"You're not a geek," Rosalie said. "I wish you didn't put yourself down all the time. You're a good person. You're just… Edward."

"…the geek," I finished for her and she laughed.

"You're my favorite brother ever," she said very seriously, giving me a hug. I was about to respond that I was her only brother ever, but realized that wasn't true. I was pretty sure mom had never told her about Henry, so I kept my mouth shut.

True to Alice's word, she had gone shopping for me. As soon as I entered my room, I noticed the brand new clothes spread out on the bed. It wasn't an awful ensemble, but it just wasn't me. Even worse, that evil pixie had found my contact case in my medicine cabinet, and put them front and center on the bed with the clothes. As if. I'd wear the clothes, but the contacts weren't going in.

I put on the black jeans and the snug fitting black tee-shirt. What was she thinking? It wasn't like I had the muscle mass in my chest to pull that off. When I put on the short sleeved button down over it, I felt a little more like myself.

"You're not supposed to button it!" Alice yelled through my closed bedroom door. I sighed and unbuttoned the shirt. She always knew.

The party had already started by the time I got downstairs. The music was blaring so loud I could hardly hear myself think. I was miserable already. Even worse, it seemed there was no way I could get Bella alone to apologize.

I watched her as she hung close to her brother, always surrounded by a swarm of people, all wanting to meet the new kids. She looked oddly uncomfortable, as if she wanted to be anywhere but where she was.

She wore a blue hoodie, some fitted dark jeans and brown boots. I don't think she could have looked more beautiful. Surrounding her were Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley, and Eric Yorkie, three of the more "popular" kids in school that hung out with Rose and Alice's crowd.

Who was I kidding? I sighed to myself. Bella was way out of my league.

Dejected, after only fifteen minutes of quietly watching her, I decided I'd had enough of the party already, so I escaped to my music room. It was really a formal dining room with a baby grand piano in the corner, but we hardly ever used the room for its intended purpose, so it had always been dubbed my music room. It was the place I liked to be alone.

I'd been playing the piano since I was just three years old. My mother said I was a natural, a virtuoso. I never played competitively, though Esme tried. I just liked to play and compose for myself. It was a great stress reliever. And right now, I was stressed.

I'd been lost in the new composition I'd been writing, the one in which I could never seem to find an ending. It had sad undertones, that was for sure, but I could only get through a few minutes before my brain would freeze and I couldn't figure out the notes to play next. It frustrated me to no end.

I sighed and stretched, and as I did so, I saw movement in my periphery. Startled, I whipped my head around, and there was Bella, flushed bright red, standing in the doorway of my sanctuary.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I heard music and came to see who was playing."

"It's alright," I said, my voice quiet. "I don't mind at all."

"I should go," she said, taking a step out the door.

"Wait!" I exclaimed. "I don't mind… if you stay." She cocked her head a little in clear confusion, and I continued. "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier, in class. I'm Edward Cullen. You're Bella?"

"Umm… yeah."

There was an awkward silence then.

"I'm sorry… I don't do this often… talk to people," I said, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

Bella gave me a small smile. "Me neither. I'm a little… socially awkward."

"Me too. We must be perfect for each other," I said, then wanted to slap myself for saying it.

"Maybe…" she said quietly, shuffling her feet nervously.

"Of course, you could have any guy here you wanted anyway," I continued, correcting myself. I can't believe I'd have the gall to insinuate we were perfect for each other. For one thing, we didn't even know each other, and for another, she was too good for me. I was sure of it.

She chuckled. "Yeah. Right."

"Really. I saw Newton and Crowley and Yorkie swarming around you. They seem to have taken quite a liking to you."

"Yeah, I'm just the shiny new toy. They'll get over it. I know how it is. Emmett was always the popular one. I just live in his shadow."

I stared at her intently, as if her words were speaking directly to my soul. "I know exactly what you mean," I answered, thinking of my strange relationship with Rosalie. Maybe Bella and I were more alike than I thought.

She shifted her feet again. "You do?"

I nodded. "I'm sort of like that with my sister. She was always the popular one. Would you like to sit down?" I offered, scooting over on the piano bench to give her room.

"Um… sure," she said, though she didn't seem totally convinced it was a good idea. I needed to work harder.

She hadn't been able to take a step towards the bench before we were both startled by a loud thud upstairs. We were both quiet for a moment, and then heard the unmistakable sound of shouting coming from above us. Then I heard a woman's scream, and it sounded like Rosalie.

I jumped to action, vacating my seat quickly and running up the stairs. I didn't realize Bella was behind me until she tripped on the top step, falling onto her knees on the landing. I quickly helped her up, and then pinpointed the commotion to Rosalie's room.

"Rose?" I asked in panic, seeing that her bedroom door was splintered, as if it had been kicked open.

The scene in Rosalie's bedroom could only have been concocted in my worst nightmares. Rosalie was sprawled on the bed, her nose bleeding and blouse ripped open. Emmett was there, wild eyed in the corner on top of Royce, struggling against him, holding him to the floor.

"Oh my God!" Bella gasped. "Emmett?"

"Rose?" I asked at the same time.

"Help her," Emmett grunted, motioning with his head towards Rosalie's trembling form. I was at her side instantly, checking her for injuries. Her face had been horribly bruised, blood pouring from her nose, and she was trembling violently, as if in shock. Maybe she was. I was frozen as I took her in, my heart breaking at the sight. Had Royce done this to her?

"I called 911," Bella cried.

"Thanks," I said in barely a whisper, pulling a still trembling Rosalie into my arms. "It's going to be okay," I soothed.

"Eddie," Rosalie sobbed, grabbing my shirt tightly. She was the only one I ever tolerated calling me that, and she only did when she was in distress.

"Shh…" I soothed, stroking her hair. "An ambulance is coming. You're going to be okay."

"Emmett didn't do anything wrong," she said, desperately trying to explain the situation. "He saved me."

"I know, sweetie, I know."

It felt like hours as I held Rosalie, the only sounds in the room coming from Emmett grunting every now and then as he struggled to hold Royce down, and Bella crying softly. By the time the ambulance arrived, Rosalie was glassy-eyed and barely responsive.

As they loaded her onto the ambulance, Rosalie came to, and started to sob again. "Eddie!" she cried. After a nod from the paramedic, I climbed into the back with her, holding her hand while they started an IV. As the doors closed, I saw Bella staring into the ambulance, tears running down her face. I wanted to comfort her- what a horrible scene to witness. Hell, I wanted to cry too. But for now, I had to be strong for my sister.

"Please be okay, Rose. Please," I whispered, as the ambulance pulled away, lights on and siren blaring.

She had to be okay…

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_A/N- There will be one more chapter from the past, and then we'll catch up with Edward in the prologue. Please review!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

I had never felt more alone in my life than I did then, sitting by myself in the empty hospital waiting room, waiting for news on Rosalie's condition. I'd been watching the clock on the wall for so long that I knew it was running four seconds slow, and was now three minutes off. At one point, it started ticking backwards for a moment before righting itself.

As soon as they unloaded Rosalie from the ambulance, they pulled her into a room and told me they'd be out to talk to me soon. I'd already been waiting forty-five minutes without a word from anybody.

What was bothering me the most was just how empty the place was. Even for a small town, I figured there would be at least a handful of people in the waiting room. Occasionally someone would come in, sick or in pain, and they were taken straight back. There was no wait for the patients. The waiting was all reserved for me. It figured that the one night off my father had from this dreadful place in the last two weeks, was the one night we needed him here.

I knew my parents would come soon. They had to rush back from Port Angeles. I was glad that I wasn't the one that had to make that phone call, the one to tell them that their daughter had been brutally attacked. The pain in my mother's voice probably would

have done me in. Instead, Alice made the call while I was on the way to the hospital. She was currently busy wrapping up the party, getting everyone out and cleaning up. She said she'd be by later. I knew it was killing her not to be here. Rosalie was like a sister to her.

I watched the clock some more. I flipped through some parenting magazine that was on the table next to me idly. I tapped my foot anxiously.

_Still no word._

I never thought I'd be happy to see Chief Swan in all of my life. I'd known him since I was little, but I always found him to be a bit gruff and unapproachable. Besides a cordial hello now and then, I've never actually had a conversation with him. He stuck his head in the waiting room, and his eyes landed on me.

"Edward," he greeted me stiffly.

"Chief Swan," I greeted back, though I could hear my voice was flat and tired.

His children followed him into the waiting room. Emmett looked like an absolute wreck. His knuckles were already starting to bruise from having beaten Royce to a pulp, and his eyes were darting around frantically, searching for Rosalie.

Bella was slightly more relaxed than her brother, and she greeted me with a sad smile.

"We just came from the police station," Charlie explained. "I came to get your take on things, and we wanted to see how your sister was doing, of course."

"I haven't heard anything yet," I answered quietly, staring at my hands. "What do you need to know?"

"Just tell me about what happened, or what you saw anyway."

I swallowed hard. "I was just playing on the piano, talking to Bella, when we heard a loud noise upstairs, like a thud. Then we could hear shouting, and Rosalie screamed. I ran upstairs and her door looked like it had been kicked in, and she was lying on the bed with her nose bleeding and her shirt ripped open. Emmett was in the corner on top of Royce. Then Bella called for an ambulance, and I stayed with Rosalie until they came."

"And what is Royce's relationship to Rosalie?"

"He's her boyfriend. Or I guess… he was."

"Have you ever known him to be violent before?"

I thought about it. He was often rude and he cursed like a sailor, but violent? Never.

I shook my head, still unable to fathom how or why this happened. I needed information.

"Emmett? What happened up there? Before I got to her room?" I asked, trying to wrap my head around it.

He cleared his throat, and I was shocked when I looked into his eyes and saw that they were red-rimmed, as if he'd been crying.

"I was looking for Bella," he explained. "I went into the kitchen and Royce and your sister were arguing. He was stumbling a bit, like he was drunk. Then he grabbed her by the arm and started pulling her up the stairs. I was afraid he was going to hurt her, so I followed them. I saw them go into a bedroom and they were shouting some more. Then I thought I heard her yelp like she was in pain. I was scared he hit her or something, so I broke the door down. He was on top of her, with his hand over her mouth, so I pulled him off and then she started screaming. Then you guys came in."

"Thank you," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "Thank goodness you were there."

"Yeah," he agreed solemnly. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I think so," I told him honestly. "I just wish they'd tell me something."

"Where are your parents?" Charlie asked.

"They were in Port Angeles. They're on the way."

"Well, I guess we'll just wait with you until they get here. I would have come over sooner if I had known that you were all by yourself over here."

"Thanks," I whispered. Bella came to sit beside me, and I was immediately filled with warmth, as if she was giving me a comforting embrace just by being near. I took a shuddering breath to calm myself, and then suddenly her soft, warm hand was in mine, squeezing gently. I never wanted her to let go.

We waited in silence for another five minutes when the door burst open once again and my parents came rushing in. "Where is she?" my mother asked me frantically.

"Still back there. They won't let me in," I explained, motioning to the locked door, which led to the treatment area.

Dad pulled his hospital ID from his wallet and swiped it on a locked door, granting them access. "Stay here," he told me, ushering his wife inside.

I was frustrated that I was once again left to wait, but at least I had company now. In my heart, I knew that Rosalie would be okay. Emmett had gotten there in time. Things could have been so much worse. On the other hand, I remembered the way she looked on the bed, so frail and broken, her eyes so lifeless. The man she thought loved her had betrayed her. I worried about her mental state more than her physical.

I tried to focus on the feeling of Bella's hand in mine to keep me centered. It was starting to work.

Another fifteen minutes passed before my father came back out to the waiting room, looking much more relaxed than he had when he went in. "She's going to be okay," he assured us. "Just some bumps and bruises. Esme is signing the discharge paperwork now."

"Thank God," Emmett said from the corner. "I'm so glad she's alright."

"Are you Emmett?" Dad asked him.

"Yes," Emmett answered, looking at his feet nervously. I couldn't imagine what he had to be nervous about. I was sure my father thought he was a certifiable hero.

Carlisle moved towards him, his hand outstretched. Emmett shook it warily. "Thank you," Carlisle said. "For saving my daughter." To Charlie he said, "You raised a good kid."

Charlie grunted uncomfortably, clearly not one for compliments. "It was his mother," he said with a shrug. "But yeah, I've got some great kids. We should be getting home now, though."

"But Dad," Emmett started to protest.

"Rosalie needs to rest," he said firmly. "You can see her tomorrow if she feels up to it."

Bella gave my hand one last squeeze before releasing me and standing to join her father.

I missed the contact instantly.

~C.O.T~

Rosalie really was okay, much to everyone's relief. The bruises looked a lot worse in the morning, her face marred with ugly purple and blue marks, but she was in much better spirits than I thought she'd be. Instead of moping about how Royce had treated her, she simply said, "I'm glad that fucker is in jail," and moved on with her life.

My mother still walked on eggshells around her, but always available in case she needed anything. My heart ached for my mother too, who was probably having horrible flashbacks about her own traumatic past. Rosalie stayed strong, though, just like she always did.

Emmett helped her keep her mind off things for most of the weekend. He came over on both Saturday and Sunday. Bella didn't come with him, much to my dismay. They spent most of the weekend in the living room, watching bad sci-fi movies, and laughing at the special effects and terrible plots. Then, when Emmett left in the evenings, Rosalie talked about him nonstop. I think she had a crush, and I don't think she was trying to hide it.

It was safe to say that Emmett saved her again. He didn't allow her to wallow in pity. He gave her something else to focus on- him.

As for me, I spent the majority of the weekend with my cell phone in my hand, trying to get the courage to dial the number I so desperately wanted to. I didn't have Bella's cell phone number, or if she even had a cell, but Charlie's home phone was listed.

But I couldn't bring myself to dial it. I worried over it constantly. If I called her, would I seem desperate? Pushy? If I didn't call her, would she think that I wasn't really into her? This shit was confusing. I had no experience with girls, and I didn't really have anyone to talk to about it either. I needed advice. I needed guidance.

Rosalie was the only one I would even consider going to, but she was sufficiently distracted. My father was on call for the whole weekend, and talking to my mother would be too awkward. I was still having post-traumatic stress from the "sex talk" three years earlier.

Of course there was always Alice, but I dismissed that idea as soon as it popped into my head. She was too hyper for me.

So instead I wallowed in self-pity, holding my phone in my hand, hoping that maybe she would call me instead.

I wasn't until Sunday night when I was attempting to sleep I realized she didn't even have my number. I'd been silently willing my phone to ring for nothing. I'd have to give her my number in the morning… if I could find the courage to do so.

When Monday morning rolled around, my stomach was knotted with anticipation from the moment I woke up. I was anxious to see Bella again, and terrified at the same time. I still couldn't understand how this girl had managed to affect me so, but the weekend seemed so much longer without her presence. I resolved that I wouldn't try to stay away from her. I couldn't.

I arrived to school earlier than usual, hoping to get a glimpse of Bella when she arrived at the school. Rosalie had already left to pick up Emmett in her BMW, because Emmett had been whining all weekend about how he wanted to ride in it. I figured Bella would be arriving alone, which made me sick with worry, because the weekend's rain had now frozen over into patchy sheets of ice.

_Maybe I should have picked her up, _I thought anxiously, as I pulled into the school. I knew she lived most of her life in Arizona. There was no way she was comfortable driving in winter weather.

When I pulled into the lot, I saw that she was already there, leaning against the tailgate of that red monster of a truck with her nose buried in a thick book. There were no parking spots near her, so I drove to the opposite end of the lot. I spent a good two or three minutes trying to psych myself up to get the nerve to go and talk to her.

_Don't be a coward, _I commanded myself finally, pushing open the door of my Volvo and stepping out with false confidence.

I took a deep breath as I looked in her direction. Just seeing her there, so relaxed as she read her book, made my stomach do flip-flops. I found myself unconsciously walking towards her.

I was only about half way to her when I heard the horrifying sound of tires screeching on the pavement. Tyler Crowley's blue van had just made a sharp turn into the lot, and he'd completely lost control, the large vehicle sliding sideways at an amazing speed, straight towards where Bella was standing. She was clearly frozen in shock, her eyes wide and fixed on the sight before her, but she wasn't moving.

_Why wasn't she running?_

Time moved in slow motion as I ran as fast as I could towards her. I was only an average runner, but I had to try.

_Not her! _I thought desperately, as I screamed out to her. "Bella! Move!" I shouted as I ran, by my voice barely carried over the sound of screeching tires.

I dropped to my knees in horror when the van finally approached her, the front corner smacking into her, causing her feet to come out from under her as she flew back onto the hood. The van was still sliding, causing her to slide off the hood. When she fell to the ground, the screeching had quieted just enough that I could hear the sickening sound of her head cracking against the pavement, her body falling awkwardly behind it. The van skidded to a stop, it's front end of it crunching against the tailgate truck, and I realized that I could no longer see her.

My feet carried me again, and in a rare athletic feat, I pulled myself onto the hood of the van and slid across it. Bella laid there, her legs and lower torso trapped between the tires of the two vehicles, completely immobile.

"Bella!" I screamed frantically, my hands fluttering useless over the parts of her not pinned by the van. Her eyes were closed, and I wasn't sure that she was breathing. I knew it was a bad idea, but I couldn't help myself as I reached my hand gently under her neck and tried to lift her head. I immediately felt something soft and wet in my hand, and looking underneath her, I gasped in horror at what I saw.

Bella's head was completely cracked open, it's vital contents partially splattered onto the pavement below.

There was no coming back from this.

Bella was dead.

I couldn't get to her in time.

I couldn't save her.

I allowed my head to fall against her unmoving chest, sobbing over and over again that I was sorry.

I felt like I lost a piece of my life- my soul- that day.

_Bella was gone. And I never even got the chance to know her._

* * *

_A/N- __A very sincere thanks to all of you who are reading and reviewing already! Your nice words really mean a lot to me. Next chapter will catch up with the prologue. Please let me know what you thought!  
_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N- We are now back to the prologue, the day after Edward was confronted by his sister, and started to bleed. I hope you enjoy. The fun (and not so fun) stuff is coming soon!_

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**2012**

I don't remember visiting my father. I don't remember coming home or getting into bed, but somehow, here I was in my pajamas, the sunlight streaming through the window indicating it was morning already.

_Could it have been a dream?_ I wondered. I remembered the panic in the faces and voices of my sister and her friends, as blood trickled down my ear. I brought my hand up to the side of my head, and found no trace of blood, dried or otherwise. It must have been a dream- a bizarre dream, but a dream nonetheless.

Stretching lazily, I turned to see that Jasper wasn't on his side of the room. I assumed he had stayed over at Alice's dorm. He wasn't much of an early riser, and all of his classes were in the afternoon.

"Shit," I muttered, looking at the clock and realizing I was already fifteen minutes late for class. I was pretty sure Professor Banner hated me already; my being late wouldn't help that situation.

Banner had been my advisor since my freshman year, and we were constantly at disagreements over my work- more specifically, my obsession with traveling back in time. We were most recently at odds over a poor grade he gave me on my latest essay, which was supposed to detail an ethical dilemma in modern physics.

I chose to write my essay on the "Grandfather Paradox," a common time travel theory that suggested that if one were to go back in time and kill their own grandfather before their father was born, then the time traveler would cease to exist. I argued over the theory by citing that time was not a linear concept, and that there existed multiple timelines. In short, going back and altering some major event would not destroy the present, but send the traveler into a sort of alternate universe, where the timeline, though skewed from the original, would continue on, adapting to new events.

I thought my essay was much better than the C- I was given. I cited many reputable physicists, not limited to Carl Sagan and Steven Hawking, two of the most brilliant minds to have ever graced this earth. I chose to believe that Banner didn't even read the content of my work, instead giving the paper a low mark based on the bias he had for the theory of time travel in general. He was a frustrating man. I still remember the altercation we had about it.

_"It's impossible," he barked at me during a brief meeting after class, in which I'd started to argue the grade. "Get over this ridiculous obsession and work on something meaningful, or I will rescind my recommendation letter for the Master's program. You have so much potential, Edward. You have a brilliant mind, and you're wasting your time on this nonsense!"_

Despite his criticisms, I pressed on with my research. Sometimes I imagined that Bella was with me. As I sorted out the theories in my head, she'd sit with me and support me, citing some of the great works of literature from the past. She's quote Washington Irving's _Rip Van Winkle, _or H.G. Wells'_ The Time Machine, _and we'd discuss the pros and cons of the theories presented in the writings. We would compliment each other so well.

I threw on the first pair of jeans and tee shirt I found and scurried off to class, not even bothering with my books. I knew if I could get there fast enough, I could at least catch the last half hour, and maybe spare some of the wrath of Professor Banner.

As I ran, I couldn't help but notice the lack of students milling around campus. I shrugged off the thought. It was still early, so I supposed everyone was either asleep or in class. Still, it was rather eerie to be present on such a large campus and be the only soul milling about.

Even at my steady pace, the Physical Sciences building was a good ten-minute jaunt, and I was admittedly sweating and out of breath by the time I arrived. My heavy course load didn't leave much time for working out, despite Emmett's frequent pleas to join him at the gym. I hurriedly wiped the moisture off my thick glasses before quietly slipping through the door, hoping I wouldn't attract too much attention as I made my way to the back of the lecture hall. Just like in High School, I preferred not to make a spectacle of myself if I could avoid it. It was much more my style to blend in and go unnoticed.

But there was apparently no need for my sneaking about. The hall was completely empty, save for a man I didn't recognize, who was standing hunched over the desk near the front examining a thick stack of papers.

He was thin, pale, and casually dressed, wearing jeans and a black button down shirt. He had very long hair, which was pulled into a neat ponytail that draped down his back. As I studied him from behind, trying to figure out if I knew him from somewhere, his voice startled me.

"Edward Cullen, I presume?" he asked. His voice was smooth, with a heavy accent that sounded Italian, or so I guessed.

"Y-yes," I stammered. The entire situation was bizarre, leaving me feeling uneasy. "Where is everyone?"

"I sent them home," he said dismissively, with a wave of his hand. He turned towards me slowly, and I was shocked by his appearance. His skin was light, practically translucent, yet his eyes were black as pitch, creating a sharp contrast. "I'm Doctor Aro Volturi," he introduced, taking a few steps towards me, his hand outstretched in greeting. "Just call me Aro."

I shook his hand warily. "Eh-Edward," I stammered nervously, unable to keep my gaze from his milky white skin. "But I guess you already knew that. Where's Professor Banner?"

"He took an emergency leave of absence. The University called me in to replace him for the duration of the semester. I used the beginning of class as a sort of meet-and-greet, which you obviously missed. You were the only one who didn't sign in on the roster, so I assumed it was you trying to sneak in. Better late than never, I suppose."

"So Banner's gone?" I asked, the trace of hopefulness in my voice impossible to hide.

"Indeed he is. I was waiting for you. I expected you would arrive at some point."

"I'm sorry I'm late," I admitted. "I overslept. I know that's no way to make a first impression."

"It's really no bother," he said, searching my face intently. "In fact, your reputation precedes you. I was just examining your last essay, in fact," he said, motioning to the stack of papers on the desk. "Intriguing."

My face fell instantly, the sting of Banner's criticisms still fresh in my mind. "Look," I told him. "If you're going to make fun of it, I'd prefer not to hear it. Dr. Banner already gave me an earful on that assignment, and I'd rather not relive it."

"On the contrary, young Edward," he answered with a crooked smile. "Take another look," he said, handing me the paper. It was a photocopy, as the original had already been marked up and returned to me. Instead of the ugly red markings all over it, this copy was pristine, minus the A written on the top right hand corner. "I thought you deserved a much higher mark."

"Thank you," I said, my mouth hanging open in awe of his generosity.

"Between you and me, Banner was starting to lose his mind, hence the sudden sabbatical. You weren't the only student he marked down, and enough complaints to administration forced them to make a staffing change. Edward, I think your theories are remarkable, and I would like to discuss them with you in more depth. When is your next class?"

"Not until after lunch," I answered.

"Splendid!" Aro exclaimed. "Please, would you do the honor of accompanying me to my new office? There's something there I'd like to show you, and I would love to discuss this more."

_Eureka! _I wanted to exclaim. _A professor who actually found merit in my work? One who was willing to speak to me on an academic level, rather than dismiss my theories without consideration? _

I was in heaven. I would follow this man anywhere.

We walked to his office, which was just up the stairs from the classroom. The halls were still deserted, and I shook off the remaining feelings of unease, knowing that finally my break had arrived.

The plaque outside the door was very new, with fresh engraving that proudly stated _Dr. Aro Volturi, Ph.D; Theoretical Physics._ Walking inside was like walking into a different planet. The walls were stark white and the furniture was sparse. There was a simple desk outside the large window, and white boards lining each of the walls. The windows on the far wall were enormous, and the sun was shining, bathing the room in a natural light.

"What do you think?" he asked eagerly.

"It's so light… and open," I admitted, taking in my surroundings. I decided then that when I graduated, I would have an office just like it. It was the perfect sparse surrounding in which to focus.

"What did you expect, a dungeon? A moat perhaps?" he asked with a smirk, taking his seat behind his desk and motioning me to drag over the spare chair in the corner.

"Huh?" I asked, confused the reference.

"Please," he said. "I noticed you staring at me earlier. I know my outward appearance is somewhat unsettling- almost vampiric. I suffer from a form of achromia, as do my brothers, who will be joining us in a few minutes. They assist me on my research from time to time."

"I didn't mean to stare," I said, embarrassed. "It was just startling- your skin."

"Yes, unfortunately my brother, Caius, suffers worse than me. He is a true albino- his skin has no pigment at all. My brother Marcus resembles me more, with dark hair, but the same cursed pale skin. It makes it nearly impossible to go out in the direct sunlight without risking a burn."

"I look forward to meeting them," I said politely, trying to save a little face. "Do they share the same interest in time travel as you do?"

"They do," he said. "They've assisted me on many projects."

As if on cue, the door to the office opened, and two men strolled in. I could easily decipher who was who from Aro's descriptions. Marcus resembled Aro, though his hair was a shade lighter and his eyes were blue, almost milky. Caius had white hair, and his eyes had a red hue.

"Is this him?" Caius asked gruffly, shooting a glare in my direction. I was a little taken aback, but forced myself to keep a straight face.

"Yes, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, I'd like you to meet my brothers, Marcus and Caius."

Caius continued to glare, whereas Marcus looked completely dismissive, barely sparing me a glance as he walked to the window and drew the shades. "That's better," he muttered. "You know how sensitive our eyes are to sunlight, brother."

"Are you sure about this?" Caius hissed in Aro's direction. "How do we know that he can be trusted?"

"We haven't made a decision yet," Aro answered. They continued as if I weren't even present in the room. "We're just here to talk."

"Get on with it then," Caius muttered.

"Edward," Aro explained. "My brothers and I believe that we have made a breakthrough in our research, and we require assistance. However, before we share our work with you, we thought we should get to know you, to make sure you are… shall we say, _worthy_."

I was practically drooling at the thought. More than anything, I wanted to be worthy. I'd spent the last four years of my life learning, theorizing, testing, all to no avail. I needed help, the kind of help that I hoped these men could provide.

"What would you like to know?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice steady.

"I have but one simple question," Aro said. "What is it that interests you in time travel?"

It took me a minute to respond. Though the answer was painfully clear to me, it still hurt to talk about.

"Bella…" I whispered, my heart clenching painfully. "She had a beautiful soul. I believe that she would have completed me. I never knew what I was looking for, until she was gone. She was my other half, of that I'm certain. Without her in this world, I will never be complete.

"She was beautiful, shy, and so very smart. Everything I knew about her, I had to learn at her funeral. She died before I ever had the pleasure to know her. She wanted to be a writer. She was so good at it. Her brother allowed me to read some of her stories after she passed. She had this sense of humor that was so understated, and so brilliant. Her stories would have brought joy to the world. She would have brought joy to me. She would have made me complete.

"The world is a darker place without her in it. She died too young. I'd like to do anything to change that, to save her. That is why I'm interested in time travel," I finished, holding my breath, hoping that my reasons were good enough in their eyes.

Aro was staring at me intently, and I couldn't tell from his expression how he took my answer.

"Let me ask you a question," he said, after a few moments of silence. "It's clear that you loved this Bella. If there was a way that you knew, without a doubt, that she could not ever possibly love you back, even perhaps she would grow to love another, would you still risk everything to save her?"

"Without a doubt," I answered immediately. This was a fact I'd even pondered myself, multiple times. "As I said before, I truly believe that the world is worse off without her in it. I do love her, or at least the memory of her. But if she couldn't find it in her to love me back, then I would have to accept that. I would still change everything to bring her back. I've found it increasingly hard to live in a world where she doesn't exist. Whether she is with me, or someone else, I would give anything to make things right, to bring her back, and to help her family heal from her untimely death."

The room was completely silent now, so silent I swear I could hear my own heart pounding like a drum. Suddenly, the silence was broken by a slow clap. My eyes darted to Aro's, who's eyes were lit up like a Christmas tree, a wide smile on his face.

"Bravo," he said, his words holding no trace of sarcasm. "Didn't I tell you?" he asked his brothers, smiling widely.

"His words seem sincere," Marcus said thoughtfully. Caius only grunted.

"So I passed?" I asked, confused.

"Your motivations are completely selfless. You don't wish to go back in time to right some injustice in your own life. You don't wish to return and play the stock market and make yourself wealthy, or more popular. You feel that the death of this young lady was unjust, and that the world would be a better place with her in it, even if that means the two of you weren't together. Bravo, young Edward, you are just who we were looking for," Aro explained, still smiling widely.

"So you think you can help me?" I asked hopefully, wondering when I would wake up from this dream.

"Yes, Edward. I do believe we can help you. Come with me," he exclaimed, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the door. "We have much to do."

* * *

_A/N- Thoughts? I'd love to hear them!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Important A/N- **_I am not a physicist, nor do I claim to be. I chose to purposely keep the science content vague. Please take it as it is, a work of fiction. Thank you :)_

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**Chapter 5**

**2008**

Two days after the accident that took Bella's life, I was a walking zombie. Rosalie was my polar opposite, automatically shifting into overdrive and determined to see Emmett through his loss. It was her way of repaying him for his saving her a few days prior.

I was essentially useless. Fortunately, they cancelled classes for the week so the students could mourn. I couldn't help but find it odd that a girl who lived in Forks for exactly four days before she died caused the entire town to essentially shut down. Chief Swan was well known and well respected, and his loss was felt through the hearts of everyone in Forks.

I was staring blankly out my bedroom window, my forehead pressed against the cool glass, when my mother called out to me. "Edward?" she asked kindly. "Would you do me a favor and bring this casserole over to the Swan house?"

"Can't Rosalie do it?" I mumbled against the glass of the window. I didn't want to go anywhere near the house. The pain was already unbearable- I couldn't face being at her home, seeing the hopelessness on the faces of her brother and father. It was the exact sort of awkward social situation I tended to avoid like the plague. I had no idea what to say or how to act.

"Rose is already over there, but she forgot to take it with her. Please, could you be a doll and run it over?"

"Sure, Mom," I muttered, already feeling my muscles starting to tense. I had no idea what to expect when I arrived.

When I pulled up in front of the house, I immediately spotted the big red monster of a truck, parked up on the lawn. The dent from where the van hit was plainly visible, my first stark reminder of the life that was lost. I wondered how Emmett and Charlie even tolerated having it on their property now. Maybe they planned to get rid of it?

Rosalie's BMW was parked across the street, and there was an unfamiliar car parked next to Charlie's cruiser in the driveway. I pulled in behind Rosalie's car and cut the engine, trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever was going on inside.

The front door was wide open and I peeked in tentatively, not wanting to disturb anyone if I could help it. Seeing nobody, I knocked on the doorframe and waited a few seconds, but still nobody answered. As I raised my hand to knock again, I finally heard voices, but they sounded like they were arguing. I debated on leaving the casserole on the front step and making a break for it, but I knew it was important to my mom that I leave the food there with the Chief.

I knocked again, but they seemed not to hear. I tried not to listen to the ensuing argument, but the shouting was growing so loud I couldn't help but hear.

"Goddamn it, Renee!" I hear Charlie's voice yell. "How dare you come into my home and even insinuate that any of this is my fucking fault?"

"You should have kept a better eye on her!" a woman's voice cried out.

"She was going to fucking _school_, Renee. Even I can't protect her from that!"

"I never should have let her go! She's in your care for four days and now she's fucking dead. How am I supposed to deal with that?"

Charlie's voice grew quieter now. "How do you think I'm dealing? I lost my baby girl too, but it was an accident, nothing more."

There was silence for a moment, and as I turned to walk away, something the woman whom I presumed was Bella's mother said caused me to freeze in my tracks.

"You're right, Charlie. It's not your fault. If I had kept them in Phoenix, she'd still be alive. It's all my fault."

"Renee… it's not anyone's fault. It was a terrible accident."

"I'm taking Emmett back with me, when the funeral is over. I can't…" she trailed off with an audible sob.

"No… please," I heard Charlie beg. "I just got them back. I just lost my baby girl. Please… please don't take my son from me."

"I'm sorry, Charlie," she said. "It's what I need to do." I hear her voice trail off, her footsteps fading away.

"FUCK!" I hear yelled, and Charlie stomped out the front door, nearly barreling over me. "Shit," he muttered. "Sorry, Edmund. What are you doing here?"

"It's Edward," I corrected politely, shuffling my feet nervously.

"Yeah, I know, sorry. My mind is…"

"It's alright," I said. "My mother asked me to bring this over. She figured you guys might need a home cooked meal."

"Tell her I said thank you," he said. He looked at least ten years older than when I saw him last, which was just a couple of days ago at the hospital. His eyes were tired, and deep frown lines marred his face. "Can you do me a favor and leave it on the kitchen counter for me? I just need to go for a drive."

"No problem," I answered, stepping past him into the house. I looked over my shoulder and watched as he stomped to the police cruiser and pealed out of the driveway. I felt sorry for him. Bella's mother had no right to say the things she said, but I'm sure the things were just said out of anger. What a horrible thing it must be to lose a child. I couldn't even imagine.

I'd never been inside the Swan house, but I found the kitchen fairly easily, and set the casserole on the counter. As I turned to leave, I heard my sister's voice from upstairs, and decided to quickly tell her I was there, and not to worry about going back for the food.

I walked up the stairs and tried to follow her voice, but something was pulling me in the opposite direction. I stopped in front of a closed door, and just knew it lead to Bella's room. I could practically _feel_ her inside. As if my hands were guiding themselves, I opened the door and peeked in, and I swear I could smell her in there, the scent strawberries and freesia invading my senses. I inhaled deeply as another wave of sadness passed through me, and my feet unconsciously lead me inside.

The room was pretty barren. There were still a few unpacked boxes in the corner, but a solitary bookshelf was already lined with books; that must have been the first thing she unpacked. A laptop computer sat on a worn desk, and a purple comforter was splayed across her unmade bed.

I walked over to her bookshelf and viewed her books. She had quite the collection of classics, from Shakespeare to Jane Austen to the Bronte sisters. All of the books looked well worn. She must have read them frequently. My hands ghosted over the bindings gingerly. On the bottom shelf, there were binders, dozens of them, but I didn't have a chance to look at them when before a booming voice made me jump.

"What the fuck are you doing in my sister's room?"

"I'm s-sorry," I stammered, whipping around to face the brute of a man. "I was looking for my sister and I ended up going in the wrong door."

Emmett sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Sorry, I'm just a little on edge. Things have been a little stressful here, you know?"

"I know. I'm so sorry," I said sincerely, shoving my hands in my pockets nervously. "I'll get out of your hair. Can you just let Rosalie know I dropped off the food my mom wanted to bring over?"

"I have to write her eulogy," he muttered, not acknowledging my request. He came to stand beside me looking at the bookshelf. "I don't even know where to begin." I wasn't sure if he was even talking to me, or if he was talking to himself. His voice sounded so distant.

"What was she like?" I asked quietly, following his gaze to the worn bindings.

"She loved to read, obviously," he said, motioning to the bookshelves. "All her clothes and shit are still in boxes, but she unpacked all these the first night. It was a bitch dragging them all up the stairs," he said with a chuckle. "She wrote a lot too. She got some short stories published in the school magazine back in Phoenix. He gaze ran over the bookshelf, and he reached for a small stack of glossy magazines. "Here," he said. "You can read them if you're interested."

"Really?" I asked, taking the magazines gingerly, as if I was given a precious gift.

"Yeah. It would make her happy if she knew someone was reading them. That's all she ever wanted to be, a writer. She was so sweet, and kind, and so shy," he chuckled. "In fact, Rosalie said she seemed a lot like you, and that you two might have just been perfect for each other."

"I guess we'll never know," I said sadly.

"You know, Bella would be having an absolute fit if she knew people were making such a fuss over her. She just liked to blend in, observe the world from the outside, and write about the things she saw. She never liked to be in the spotlight, but she never missed the beauty of the world either." As he spoke, I felt like I knew her. She was everything I thought she'd be like and more.

"Hey, Emmett? I think you should say all that at the funeral. I think you just gave the perfect eulogy."

His face lit up with a serene smile, and he knew that I was right.

~~C.O.T~~

**2012**

Aro pulled me towards the elevator at a pace so fast I was tripping over my feet. I didn't complain. I was as anxious as he apparently was, to see what it was that he was so excited to show me. His brothers followed a few steps behind.

When the elevator arrived, the four of us stepped in, and I watched in fascination as Aro pulled a panel off the wall and inserted a key, pressing a button that said _SB._

"SB?" I asked curiously.

"Sub-basement," he explained. "It's where our research is set up."

"I thought you said you just started working here?" I asked suspiciously. How was it that he could have a lab already set up?

"No, I said I was just called in to take over Banner's classes," he explained. "I've actually been here quite some time, but in the basement, hidden away from public view."

"Okay…" I said, a feeling of unease settling over me.

The elevator doors opened, and I found myself in a pitch-black room. I heard Aro fumble on the wall, and then the room was bathed in light. I gasped at the scene before me.

As row after row of fluorescent lights were switched on, I was really able to take in how massive the room was. The space was so large, I couldn't even see where it ended. Directly in front of me was a chair, attached to a track that resembled a roller coaster track, and atop it was a simple reclined chair that reminded me of a dentist chair. Multiple leads were attached to a large box at the base of the chair. Surrounding the whole device was an open capsule that was made of thick metal, possibly lead.

"Is this…?" I asked, trailing off in wonder.

"A time machine? Yes." He answered with a smug smile. "At least we hope so. We haven't tested it, on humans anyway."

"How does it work?"

"Without getting too far into minute details, it essentially uses the wormhole principle. This machine will, in theory, launch you into space, via a wormhole we've recently discovered, and that will give you the ability to move through time. The problem we were having is being able to guide exactly where in time you will go. The solution, we think, may be in the human brain. Through a series of electrodes connected directly from your brain to the machine, we think that as you move through space, your brain will guide itself to a specific moment in time."

"How will you know if it worked?" I asked. "If your theory is correct, and I am able to successfully travel back in time and save Bella, then it's entirely possible we would never meet, that this particular moment would never happen. I wouldn't seek the need to go back in time, if she survived."

"Exactly," he said. "We've taken a detailed series of notes, so we will be able to recall, with great accuracy, this event taking place. If in a few minutes we do not actively remember meeting you, then we will know the experiment was a success when we review our notes."

"And what if it doesn't work?" I asked with a deep frown. "What if I can't find the exact moment in time I need? What if I can't save her?"

"We've installed a panic switch that we… _theorize_… will bring you back to this moment in time by moving backwards through the wormhole."

"But that's not…" I started to argue. When he glared at me, I decided to shut my mouth. Even if some of the theories weren't adding up in my mind, I wasn't willing to risk them not giving me the chance to try. "Never mind," I finished.

He continued to give me instructions, and I listened intently to what I needed to do. I was to focus on a specific moment in time to which I could go back and change one thing, and the machine would, in theory, propel me to that moment. I would essentially be floating through space, and wake up in the past, aware of the current future, but able to change at least one thing in the past to alter it. As for the so-called "panic switch," I would carry that with me, in case of an emergency.

"I would caution you to change one thing only," Aro continued. "If you change too much, you could alter the world permanently, possibly for the worse."

"I understand," I said. I knew exactly the one thing I wanted to change. I was ready.

If they wanted to use me as their guinea pig, who was I to argue? This was probably the only chance I would ever get. They didn't ask me twice, I was determined to try.

"Are you ready to go back?" he asked, clasping his hands together in excitement.

I gritted my teeth, partly in fear, partly in excitement.

"I'm ready," I said. The brothers made quick work of strapping me in the chair and attaching the electrodes to my head. I felt an intense shock wrack through my body, starting in my head and moving to my limbs, and my muscles started to twitch painfully. There was a sudden lurch, and then I was floating.

Although it was incredibly hard to focus through the stinging pain, I forced myself to concentrate on the one moment I wanted- needed- to change.

The pain stopped as suddenly as it came, and blackness surrounding me. I felt weightless, and wondered briefly if I had died. I closed my eyes, images of Bella behind my lids. When I felt like gravity returned to me, I opened my eyes and gasped in shock.

I was sitting at the breakfast table, at my parents' house in Forks. Everything was exactly as I remembered it four years ago. I could hear Rosalie upstairs getting ready, so I knew that if I arrived on the right day, there was time to do what I needed to do.

I jumped from the table, knocking the chair over in the process, and hurried out to my car, with just a quick wave to my surprised looking mother. I looked in the rearview mirror and gasped. My face was so much younger, just like it was in high school. It worked! I actually went back in time.

If my mind correctly guided me to where I needed to be, then it was the morning of the accident. Since Rosalie hadn't left yet to pick up Emmett, I knew I still had time, but not much.

The roads were fairly icy, and I forced myself to drive at a reasonable speed. I vaguely remembered that Rosalie had put chains on my tires and hers the night before, having seen that it was supposed to be below freezing in the morning. I drove down the familiar streets until I found myself outside of the Swan house.

The red truck was still in the driveway, and I mentally high-fived myself, knowing that I'd arrived in time. Gone was the shy teenager that was too afraid to call her over the weekend, and in his place was a determined man, ready to fix things, ready to save Bella.

I strolled with confidence up to her front door and knocked.

Time stopped as the door flew open, and there she stood, as young beautiful as I remembered, with flowing brown hair and deep chocolate eyes. She was there, and she was alive.

_My Bella._

"Edward?" she asked, surprised, her sweet voice making my insides squirm, just as I remembered. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to pick you up for school," I answered with a smile. "Are you ready to go?"

* * *

Reviews, as always, would be lovely. Thank you :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

_"I came to pick you up for school," I answered with a smile. "Are you ready to go?"_

Bella cocked her head slightly, her face a mask of confusion. "Did we make plans to meet up or something?"

"No," I answered quickly. As I had replayed this scenario over and over in my mind for the last four years, - what I would do, what I would say - the lies came easily.

"No, but when I saw the weather forecast this morning, I saw it would be icy outside. I figured that since you lived in Arizona, you might not be completely comfortable driving in this weather. Plus, I know Emmett is riding with Rosalie, so I thought you might like a ride?"

"That's… really thoughtful," Bella said with a smile that almost looked sad. "Let me get my coat?"

"Who's at the door, Bells?" the gruff voice I recognized as Charlie Swan's growled from somewhere behind her.

"It's Edward, Dad," she said, disappearing from the doorway for a minute. "He came to give me a ride to school." As I heard her pull her coat from the closet, Charlie took her place in the doorway, standing with his arms folded over his chest.

"You did, did you?" he asked with a stern stare.

"Yes, sir," I answered. "The roads are pretty bad, and I thought she might appreciate a ride."

"What kind of car is that you got over there?" he asked, motioning with his head to where my car was parked in front of the driveway, partially blocking his police cruiser.

"A Volvo S80, sir."

"Safe car," he muttered, sounding almost disappointed. I could figure immediately that he was trying to find an excuse not to let her ride with me. "All wheel drive?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

"Yes, sir," I answered, trying not to show my annoyance at his line of questioning.

"Dad…" Bella hissed. "Be nice, please. He's doing me a favor."

Ignoring his daughter, he continued to stare me down. "Got chains on those tires?"

"Yes, sir. They were put on last night." I purposely didn't mention that my sister had applied them; I didn't want to seem like less of a man in his eyes.

"You understand that's my only daughter?" he said. "Her safety is my top priority."

"And it's mine too," I said, knowing full well that was probably the understatement of a century.

He acknowledged what I'd said with a curt nod and disappeared from the doorway. I took that as consent to take Bella to school. She reappeared a moment later, bundled in a thick coat. It was the same coat she'd been wearing the day my life changed forever - the day hers ended.

"Are you ready?" I asked in a choked voice, visions of her sprawled out on the pavement assaulting me.

"I think so," she said. I hesitated before holding my hand out to her, but remembered with such ease how we'd held hands in the hospital while we waited for news on Rosalie, and so I reached for her. With a shy smile, she took my hand immediately, and I ached to feel the soft skin of her hand, rather than the thick mittens she wore, but I would take what I could get. I would take everything she had to offer, so long as she was at my side, and alive.

When we reached the Volvo, I opened the passenger side door for her, and she looked at me with a hint of surprise before getting in. I knew that I would have to ask her what that was about at some point, but at the movement, all I could do was savor being in her presence.

Awkward silence ensued after we were settled and on the road. She graciously broke it, by asking in a quiet voice, "How is your sister?"

I smiled. "She's great," I said, with more enthusiasm than the situation probably warranted. I had to bite my tongue from sharing that I knew that she and Emmett would end up in a relationship, and that at present (or future), they were in their senior year together, at the University of Washington, currently planning their wedding. "You're brother has been keeping her sufficiently distracted, I think."

"I wanted to come over, you know?" she said. "But I wasn't sure if that would be okay."

"I should have called you," I admitted. "I did want to see you, but I didn't have your cell phone number. I wasn't sure if it was okay to call the house."

"I don't have a cell," she said, flushing slightly. "I know that I'm probably the only teenager in the country that doesn't, but I never really saw a need for it. But yeah, it's okay to call the house. You have the number?"

"It's listed," I said, my hand twitching over the shifter, wanting to reach for her hand again, though I resisted. I didn't want to scare her away, especially not that I'd just found her again.

We were pulling into the parking lot of the school before I knew it.

"There were a few spots back there," Bella pointed out helpfully, motioning towards some vacant spots closer to the entrance.

"Uh, yeah," I said nervously, sick with the knowledge of what was about to happen in those empty spaces. "I didn't even notice, because I'm not usually here this early. I always park in the same spot. I'm a creature of habit, I guess."

Bella simply shrugged in agreement. As we pulled into a space, I hurriedly opened the door so that I could get to hers, but to my dismay, by the time I got to the passenger side, she was already standing outside the car waiting for me. I decided that she would simply have to start getting used to being treated like a lady. As I opened my mouth to suggest as such, she suddenly started to slip on a patch of ice beneath her feet. I reached for her, my hands landing on her hips in an effort to steady her. Suddenly, I found us face to face, and I was lost in the depths of her soulful eyes.

An epiphany struck then. Despite the fact that I was currently in my seventeen-year-old body, I had grown a lot since high school. I didn't have to be the shy, geeky kid anymore. All that mattered was this girl, this woman, in my arms right now, and I wouldn't waste any time. The past had shown me that time is limited.

"You okay?" I whispered in her ear, and I swear I could feel her tremble under my fingers.

"I'm okay. Thanks for catching me," she said shyly, her eyes trained on the ground. I took my finger and put it under her chin, tilting her face towards mine. I couldn't kiss her just yet. We hardly knew each other, so that wouldn't be proper. But I knew I wasn't going to waste any more time without telling her how I felt.

"I like you, Bella," I said, looking directly into her eyes. "I just wanted you to know that. I know our first meeting could have been on better terms, but I would really like it if we could be friends."

She flushed a shade of red I'd only ever seen in comic books, and she said, "I'd like that too, Edward."

Our blissful moment was interrupted by the sound of squealing tires.

It's hard to explain how it feels to know what is going to happen, a few minutes before it actually does. It's humbling, and eerie at the same time. I didn't want to turn and look at the van I knew was currently sliding across the parking lot, but I knew that not reacting to the sound would seem abnormal.

So I turned and looked, and suddenly a barrage of images flooded through my mind- of Bella, her eyes wide and frightened as I ran as fast as I could, though not fast enough. The sound of the van careening into her truck, the sickening sound of her bones cracking as she fell limp to the pavement.

In an entirely unconscious action, I pulled her towards me, her back to my chest. I held her as if her life depended on it, as it once did, and watched as the van careened across the parking lot, towards where Bella once stood, then skidded to a stop, innocently sideswiping an unoccupied red sedan, parked next to where the red truck once was.

There was silence for a moment as the students scattered across the parking lot took in the scene. Then someone actually started a slow clap, as a bewildered Tyler climbed from the front seat of the van, completely unscathed.

"Hey, Tyler, drive much?" Mike Newton called out loudly, clapping him on the back in jest.

"Look what you did to my fucking car!" an irate Lauren Mallory screeched. She was one of Rosalie's friends, a fellow cheerleader who I never much cared for.

It was amazing that I was able to change one thing, and the results were so remarkably different. What was once a great tragedy in this town became nothing more than a petty argument between a football player and a cheerleader over a few scratches and dents, and some mild entertainment for the fellow students in the parking lot.

Bella was currently staring wide-eyed at the scene, her mouth open in shock.

"You okay?" I asked gently, taking in her panicked expression.

"Yeah…" she said solemnly. "It's just… I told you to park there a few seconds ago. We could have been standing right there."

I swallowed hard, and in a rare move of confidence, slung my arms around her shoulders. "I guess it could have been a lot worse," I admitted, the sting of reality practically smacking me in the face. "So, can I walk you to class?"

~~C.O.T.~~

It was a glorious week. It didn't even bother me that I had to repeat my junior year of high school. After having spent almost three full years in college, the things that once bothered me about high school students no longer seemed as important. I was still a victim of name calling, but it just didn't bother me. The fact that I had Bella with me somehow made things easier to bear.

I picked her up every day from school, despite the suspicious, distrusting looks I received from her father every morning. It took three mornings and afternoons before she would finally wait for me to open the door for her when she got in and out of my car.

I memorized her schedule. I walked her to every class. Sometimes we held hands, and she even let me carry her books most times.

On Tuesday, I walked her to the nurse after she started feeling dizzy in Biology. We were doing blood typing that day, and she claimed she could smell the blood, and that it made her sick. I got the courage to call her house that evening to see how she was feeling, and we ended up talking for over an hour.

On Wednesday, Charlie was cleaning his guns in plain view of the living room window when I picked her up for school. I pretended not to notice, even if the man was starting to scare the shit out of me. After school, she came over to my house to study for a Biology test, and when we finished, we spent time in my music room. I played for her, and she told me how much she loved my compositions. I was beginning to think my feelings for her were mutual.

On Thursday, I decided that I would ask her on an official date, and ask her to be my girlfriend.

Maybe by Friday, I would be able to kiss her.

As I opened the car door for her outside her house on Thursday, I held out my hand for her to take, and she took it without hesitation. It was a warmer day, and she chose not to wear gloves, and the feeling of her bare, smooth skin on mine was heavenly. I walked her to her door, and turned to face her when we reached the step. "Bella, I'd like to take you out to dinner tomorrow," I told her shyly, nervous for her response.

"Like… on a date?" she asked.

"Yes, if you'd like. Or just as friends?" I was so nervous I was actually shaking. _What if she rejected me now?_

"I'd love to, but I actually have plans."

My face fell instantly. Maybe I had been misreading her all week. "Is there someone else?" I asked, my voice a strained whisper.

"Oh, no, nothing like that," she exclaimed, her face flushing with a beautiful blush. "It's just that I told Angela and Jessica I would go dress shopping with them, you know, for prom?"

Right- prom was just next month. "You're going to prom?"

"No, definitely not," she laughed. "I'm just providing moral support or whatever. We're leaving right after school to go to Port Angeles."

I was relieved to hear that she had no interest in prom. I couldn't think many worse ways to spend an evening, though if she'd wanted to go, of course I would escort her. "What if you go with them, then meet me at the restaurant afterwards, say around six? I can drive you home after dinner?" There was an air of desperation in my voice. I was desperate to take her out, to ask her to be mine, but I wanted to do it right.

"That sounds good," she said with a smile. "Which restaurant?"

"Bella Italia?" I suggested. "I'm sure Jessica and Angela can help you find it."

"That sounds good. So I'll meet you there at six? Maybe I should give you Angela's cell number, in case we need to get in touch with each other."

"I have it already," I explained. "We've worked on projects together before. I'll see you in the morning then? I can pick you up for school?"

"That sounds good. Thank you, Edward," she said.

Taking a chance, I leaned into her and brushed my lips across her cheek. As I headed back to my car, I chanced a look over my shoulder to see her standing stark still, a hint of a smile on her face. Her hand was hovering over her cheek where I'd kissed her.

I tried to keep a cool composure as I walked to my car and got in, but when I pulled away, and when I knew I was out of sight, I started doing an enthusiastic happy dance behind the steering wheel. It mattered little to me that I was technically a twenty-one year old college student; I was too elated to care.

_She likes me! _I thought excitedly.

I simply couldn't wait for tomorrow. I was going to ask Bella Swan to be my girlfriend.

* * *

A/N- Reviews are always appreciated. Thanks :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7**

I've always hated admitting when I need help, especially when such help was needed from my sister and her best friend. I had a 4.0 GPA, and was smarter than most people I know, but I'd be damned if I could dress myself.

I had been standing in front of my closet for the past half-hour, and looking at the mass of clothes, most of which I never wore, was like a logic problem or math equation I just couldn't solve. Admitting defeat, I gritted my teeth and banged on the closet wall, knowing Rosalie would be able to hear me from her room next door.

She came right away, but much to my dismay, she brought with her both Alice _and_ Emmett. Alice was hard enough to deal with sometimes, but now I had to admit defeat to another man, and one that just happened to be my prospective girlfriend's brother.

"Yay!" Alice squealed before I could even tell her what I needed. "I was waiting for you to admit you needed help. Sit over there, I've got you covered," she said, motioning to the bed.

"What the hell?" Emmett asked.

"I ask myself the same damn thing every day," I muttered, running my hands through my

hair, trying the disarray into something manageable.

"Eddie boy here has a date," Rosalie said with a wide, proud smile.

"Oh yeah? With who?" Emmett asked curiously.

"With Bel-la!" Alice sang loudly from the closet.

I watched as Emmett's expression suddenly darkened, and he glared at me. "You're going out with my sister?" he asked through gritted teeth, clenching his right fist in anger.

In the year 2012, I know that Emmett and I would have become friends, but where I was, in 2008, I wasn't so sure how to handle this. I was scared; I admit it. I also knew that how I handled this situation would eventually determine our future relationship, and even my relationship with Bella. "Y-yes," I stammered, forcing myself to look him in the eye.

"And you didn't think of talking to me first? Getting my permission to take her out?"

What? Was that required? I knew nothing of this particular dating etiquette. I'd heard of asking a father's permission, but I thought that was an old fashioned notion. I should have bought a book or something. Oh hell.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I didn't realize that I should have asked you. I… Emmett, I like Bella a lot. We made plans to have dinner in Port Angeles tonight, with your consent, of course. I promise to treat her with the utmost respect."

Emmett was still staring me down, when suddenly his hard expression broke and he let out a loud belly laugh. "I'm just fucking with you Edward, calm down."

I breathed out a sigh of relief as Rosalie laughed along with him. I found no humor in the situation.

"I… oh. Okay," I said sheepishly, completely mortified.

"Although my father did tell me to pass along a message to you. He said to remind you that he's the Chief of Police, that Forks is a heavily wooded area, and he would have no shortages of places to hide a body."

"That's, uh, good to know," I said, looking at my feet.

"Viola!" Alice exclaimed proudly, and I thanked her with my eyes for breaking up the uncomfortable conversation. "Go put this on."

I shuffled silently into the bathroom and quickly into the clothes she had shoved at me. Alice had pulled out a pair of dark jeans, a black t-shirt and a sport coat I wasn't even aware I owned. I had to admit I was baffled as I reentered my bedroom.

"What's wrong, Edward, you don't like it?" Alice asked, noting my pensive expression.

"It's fine, but I'm not sure it's appropriate for a first date?"

"What's wrong with it?" she asked, looking hurt.

"Shouldn't I wear a tie?"

"Not unless you want to look like a geek."

"But I am a geek!" I argued.

"Well, you don't have to look like one!" Alice shot back. "Sit down, we have to fix your hair. Rosalie, go get his other glasses."

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot," Rosalie said excitedly, hurrying out of the room.

"What the hell? I hate those other glasses, Alice!"

"They look better on you," Alice said. "They make you look hot," she said with a wink.

"I've had the same pair of glasses for the last seven years. I don't want to wear the backup pair. They don't fit right."

"Suck it up, Edward. You asked for my help, and you're getting it." I heard something that sounded like a squirt bottle behind me, and suddenly her hands were in my hair, and I smelled something fruity.

"What the hell?" I asked, trying to turn my head towards her, but she held it still forcefully. She had surprising strength for a woman her size.

"Just relax," she muttered. "You're so tense."

Rosalie returned with my glasses, and without my consent, slipped my old pair off my face and applied the new ones. They felt foreign to me, and the fact that I could see the rims in my periphery was incredibly distracting. The vision was okay, though. I remembered my mother always got me a backup pair every appointment with my steadily changing prescription. I'd kept the same dark framed glasses though, only changing out the lenses when needed. I felt naked without them.

"Are you done?" I snapped at Alice, who was still messing with my hair.

"Yep, take a look," she said excitedly, leaping from the bed and pulling me over to the mirror on my closet door.

I wasn't really sure what to think about the outfit. I felt underdressed, naked without my glasses, and Alice had fashioned my hair into complete disarray. I didn't want Bella to think I was slovenly. I told Alice as much.

"Edward, face it. You look hot. Bella will be drooling all over you."

"But…"

"No buts Edward. My work here is done," she exclaimed proudly. "Have fun tonight!"

She and Emmett left the room then, giving me a moment alone with Rosalie.

"I know she's a bit much, Edward, but you really do look good. Good luck tonight, okay? I'm sure she'll say yes," Rosalie said, smiling warmly. She wrapped me in a hug, and I'm ashamed to say I really needed it. I was so nervous that I wanted to vomit.

"Thanks Rose," I said. "I needed that."

"I know, Eddie. Now get out of here, okay?"

I nodded and turned to grab my wallet and keys, when I noticed Aro's so-called panic switch sitting on my dresser. I figured I wouldn't need it, so I walked away from it, but then Aro's foreboding voice warning me to keep it with me at all times rang loud in my head, so I grabbed it, stuck it deep in the pocket of my sport coat, and ran down the stairs.

I wasn't even to the bottom step before a flash blinded me. "Edward's first date!" my mother gushed, with tears in her eyes. "You're growing up so fast," she cooed, snapping another picture.

"Yeah… I have to go, Mom," I said uncomfortably, as her arms wrapped around me in a motherly hug and she sniffled into my shoulder. "I love you, baby boy," she sobbed.

"Edward, a word in my office before you go?" my father asked. I didn't realize he was even home. I wrestled myself out of my mother's grip before following him into his study. I eyed him curiously as he motioned for me to sit down.

"Am I in trouble or something?" I asked him. It was very rare that I would be called into his office.

"No, no. I just wanted to talk to you before you go. I understand you're going out on a date tonight?"

"I am."

"When you're mother told me this morning, it occurred to me that we never had a talk about you dating."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"Edward, I want to talk with you about sex," he said, and I could hear the shift in his voice, as he entered his 'doctor mode'. "I realized that I've failed you as a father in this respect. Here you are, seventeen already, and I realized we never really had a candid discussion about it."

I put my head in my hands. "Dad, I got the sex-ed lessons at school. We're good."

"No, no. I should have talked to you about this a long time ago. I won't go over the mechanics, I'm sure you know those. Unless you have questions?"

I shook my head quickly.

"Alright then. I just want to stress that having a sexual relationship with a woman is a beautiful thing, but not until you are both completely ready. Do not pressure her, and do not let her pressure you."

My hand was nervously fumbling around my panic switch, but I fought the urge to hit it. Although I figured if he kept talking, I just might have needed an entire panic room, button be damned. "Dad, we're not having sex. We're just going on a date!"

"I'm not talking about tonight. I'm talking about when you are emotionally ready. I just want you to be prepared." He sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I can see this is making you uncomfortable."

"You think?" I snapped.

"Well, just know I'm here, if you have any questions, alright, son?"

I nodded.

"Oh, I almost forgot," he said, reaching into his desk drawer, and pulling out a box of condoms, shoving them into my hand as I flushed red. "They're for when you're ready. I want you to be prepared."

"Yeah, uh. Thanks, dad," I muttered, shoving the box into my jacket pocket. My mother would have a heart attack if I walked out of the office with them in my hand. "Can I go?"

"Yes, and please have fun," he said with a wink. "But not too much."

"Right, okay."

And to think I thought my awkward teenage years were behind me. I was desperate to leave the house then and did just that, stealthy avoiding my mother on the way out, afraid that she'd make me late with another tearful hug.

It was almost an hour to Port Angeles from Forks, and I arrived at the restaurant 20 minutes early to ensure my reservation was ready. I didn't want to keep her waiting. I had requested a table for two, asking for the quietest corner of the restaurant, and also arranged for flowers to be waiting on the table. After careful research on the meanings of different types of flowers, I decided on a dozen lavender colored roses.

Lavender roses mean enchantment, or love at first sight. I couldn't think of a more perfect arrangement to tell her how I feel.

My heart was pounding as I entered the restaurant and approached the hostess station. Dating was completely new territory from me, and I wanted everything to be perfect. I was as nervous as I would imagine a man proposing would be.

How could I aptly explain my feelings to a woman who's held my heart for four years and never knew? I couldn't exactly tell her the entire truth, as she would likely encourage my parents to commit me.

The hostess eyed me up and down before giving me a crooked smile and a wink. "Can I help you?"

"I have a reservation for Cullen," I explained.

"Is that so?" she asked, smiling at me again, and licking her lower lip slightly. I wondered if she had some sort of neurological disorder. The twitchy facial expressions she kept giving me were rather odd. I said nothing, as I didn't want to embarrass her.

"Have the flowers I ordered arrived?" I asked.

"I just put them on the table myself," she said with a wink. She grabbed two menus from behind her podium. "Follow me," she said, her hips noticeably swaying as she led me to the corner of the restaurant. "How's this?"

I surveyed the table that had been set to my specifications. The flowers were set right in the middle and looked perfect. My only concern was that the lighting was very dim. I wanted to be able to see my beautiful girl when she arrived. "It's a little dark," I mentioned, as I sat down.

"Oh, I can fix that," she said sweetly, leaning very deliberately across the table, placing her breasts directly in front of my face. I looked away politely as she switched on a small lamp, which bathed the table in a soft yellow glow. "Is that better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Alright, well my name is Tiffany. Your server will be by shortly. Please let me know if there is anything you need," she said, slipping something into my hand, and parting with another wink.

"Um, thanks," I said, clearing my throat. The woman was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. After she was finally away from me, and I felt like I could breathe again, I unfolded the little slip of paper. It just said _Tiffany_, with a little heart over the 'i', and her phone number at the bottom.

_Why would she have given me her number?_ I wondered to myself as I folded my napkin across my lap. Before I had time to consider it, our server arrived. I ordered only water to start, explaining I was waiting for my date. The word 'date' seemed so foreign as it spilled from my mouth, and I couldn't help but smile.

Because of my early arrival, there was nothing to do but wait. To pass the time, I covertly pulled the index card I'd prepared, rehearsing what I would say in my head.

_Bella, I know we haven't known each other long, but I must tell you that this last week has truly been the best of my life thus far. It's been a joy seeing you each and every day at school. Every time you are near me, I feel happy and whole. When you're apart from me, I only long to be near you. If you feel the same way, I would like to take our friendship to the next level. Would you do me the extraordinary honor of being my girlfriend?_

I read the card over and over again until I could recite it with my eyes closed. I was ready. I didn't realize how much time had passed, and I was elated to see it was already a couple minutes past six. My Bella would be joining me any minute.

At 6:10, I was feeling just mildly annoyed that Bella had not yet arrived. I blamed Jessica, figuring that she was the one keeping her.

At 6:15, my heart felt like it was being crushed from the inside. Had I been stood up? The sympathetic and hopeful looks Tiffany was giving me from across the room weren't helping my mental state.

By 6:25, I started to worry. I decided that enough time had passed that I wouldn't seem too desperate if I called. If she decided not to come, I would be disappointed, but at least I could stop worrying. I pulled out my phone and dialed Angela, wishing once again that Bella had her own cell phone. I wondered if she would be offended if I bought her one.

"Hello?" she answered after a couple of rings.

"Hi, Angela. This is Edward Cullen, you know, from Forks High?"

"Yes, Edward, I know who you are. Why are you calling? I thought you were with Bella?" she asked, her voice a mixture of confusion and concern.

"She's not with you?" I asked, bile rising up in my throat.

"No, she left like… I don't know, an hour ago I guess. She said she wanted to go to a bookstore, and then she was going to meet you."

"So, she's not with you?" I clarified, hoping that I had heard her incorrectly.

"No. I hope she didn't get lost or something."

"Angela, are you still in Port Angeles."

"Yeah, we were just finishing up at the dress shop."

I was already out of my chair and making my way hurriedly to the door. I ignored Tiffany as she tried to stop and talk to me, and made my way to the car.

"Something could have happened to her. We need to find her," I said desperately.

"Okay. I guess we should try the bookstores first."

"Do you know which one she went to?"

"No, she didn't say."

"How many bookstores are around here?"

"Two that I can think of. There's one just two blocks down from Bella Italia, but it's a New Age store. It doesn't seem like her thing."

"And the other?" I asked, diving into my car and starting the ignition.

"It's closer to here. Listen, just check out the one by the restaurant, we'll run over to the one up here, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Thanks Angela," I sighed, my panic increasing by the second. It pained me to think of all the p[possible things that could have gone wrong. I couldn't lose her- not again.

As I drove down the main strip to where I remembered seeing a bookstore on my way in, I called Rosalie.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she asked. "I thought you were on your date?"

"Is Emmett with you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Bella never showed up at the restaurant, but Angela said she left the store an hour ago. Can you have Emmett call home and see if she's there by chance? Maybe she took a cab or something?"

"Yeah, sure, Edward. Wow, I'm really worried. I hope she's okay."

"Just make the call, please. Call me as soon as you know?"

"Yeah, of course. Be careful, Edward."

I hung up just as I was pulling outside the bookstore. At first glace, it definitely looked like a place where Bella didn't belong. There were crystals hanging from the window, and the place was even called _New Age Books_ with a pentacle where the "A" should have been. Desperate, I decided to give it a try anyway.

I ran in like a madman, pushing past the lone customer at the counter. "Excuse me," I asked the older woman running the register. "Did you see a girl come in here in the past hour or so? Long brown hair, brown eyes, about five foot four?"

"Not that I recall," she answered kindly. My shoulders fell in defeat, and I apologized to the customer I'd pushed on my way out.

My phone rang in my hand as I went to check in with Angela. "Edward, the guy at the bookstore said that a girl that matches Bella's description came in and bought a book, but she left a while ago. I'm worried Edward. Where could she be?"

"Are you guys still at the bookstore?"

"Yeah."

"What's the address? I'll meet you there in a couple of minutes. We have to find her."

Angela rattled off the address, and I took a mental note of the intersection as my call waiting beeped. "I'll be there in a minute," I told her, switching over to the other line.

"Rosalie, any news?"

"No, Edward, but Charlie's frantic now. He's on his way to Port Angeles now. When we called, he was already on the road for something else, so he's only about a half-hour away. Emmett and I are headed over to their house in case she calls or comes home. I'll call you if I hear anything."

"Alright. I'm meeting up with Angela, and we're going to go look for her."

I made it to the bookstore where Angela and Jessica were waiting in record time, pushing my Volvo to the limit. I screeched to a stop outside the store and leapt from the vehicle. "Any sign of her?"

"No, but let's think," Angela answered. "Where could she have gone?"

"We could retrace her steps- walk from the bookstore towards the restaurant and check the alleys and side streets."

"Maybe we should split up," Angela suggested

I vetoed that idea immediately. It was already dark, and I liked Angela too much to let her wander off unescorted.

"We should probably stick together. You ready?"

"We're walking?" Jessica asked, her voice shrill and whiney. "But my feet already hurt from walking around in these heels."

"It's the best way to find her, if we walk the path she might have gone," Angela insisted. "We won't be able to see into the alleys from the car."

"Uh, whatever. I don't get why you two are so getting so dramatic because Edward lost his little girlfriend," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Are you serious right now, Jessica? Why are you being such a bitch?" I demanded, stalking off in the direction I would have assumed Bella would have taken.

"Oh, fuck you geek," she muttered. I had some choice words for her, but I didn't have time for that. I couldn't believe how cold-hearted she was being, but I would save that argument for another day.

"Jessica, shut the hell up and look for her," Angela commanded. "I can't believe you just said that. She's your friend."

"Whatever, she's a total buzzkill. Can't even handle shopping for like twenty minutes before she goes and runs off to buy books. She's a geek just like Edward. They're perfect for each other," she sneered.

"If you're not going to help, shut your fucking mouth," Angela demanded, quickening her pace to catch up with me. I widened my eyes in surprise. I'd never heard Angela speak that way, but I was liking her even more now.

We walked for about fifteen minutes in one direction, ignoring Jessica's protests that it was cold and that her feet hurt. We turned down every alley, every side street, and checked in every open shop to see if anybody had seen her. When we reached the restaurant, we turned around and headed back the way we came, retracing all our steps in case we missed something.

When we made it back to the bookstore again, I motioned in the other direction. "We should check that way," I panted, out of breath from the frantic walking we had done.

"There's no reason for her to have gone that way. That whole street is abandoned," Angela said.

"Maybe she went the wrong direction. It's worth a shot."

Angela nodded in agreement. "Charlie should be here soon," she said. "He'll help us."

About two blocks from the bookstore, we turned down an alley, and Angela stooped to pick up something on the ground. "It's a book. _The Complete Works of Jane Austen_." That sounds like Bella. Do you think it could be hers? It looks new."

"Maybe," I pondered, my eyes scanning the alley. There weren't any streetlights on this block, and it was getting difficult to see. "Let's keep looking."

We kept walking down the alley, looking for more clues, and staying close together.

As we searched, Jessica's piercing scream rang out through the darkness. Her hand shook violently as she pointed at a dumpster a few yards away. Then I saw it, a pair of legs sticking out from behind it.

I ran as fast as my feet could carry me, all while hoping- praying- that it wasn't Bella.

But as soon as we approached the body, I knew in my heart immediately it was her, even though I couldn't see her face. Her hair was matted and caked with blood. She was lying on her face, and her clothes had been completely stripped from her body. There was no sign of life, and as I reached out to gingerly touch her, her body was ice cold and stiff.

I had to be sure. Fighting back tears in my eyes so I could see for myself the face of my Angel, I rolled her over and immediately covered her bare body with my coat, and I saw her eyes. It was definitely her, and her eyes were frozen open, wide in terror. There was blood, so much blood, covering every inch of her, wide gashes across her abdomen. She'd been cut.

"No…" I gasped. "No… _Bella!_" I screamed into the night.

Then it was silent, save for our quiet sobs. Angela called 911, and I knew that Charlie would hear it on his scanner and be there soon. I didn't want him to see this. No father should see this.

When the police cruiser pulled up, I tried in vain to intercept him before he saw the state his daughter was in. He could tell from my facial expression something was very wrong, and as I begged him to stop, he shoved me away, stalking towards the dumpster.

I watched from a distance, tears in my eyes as I took in the scene. He walked over to her body, stood frozen for a moment, then fell to his knees in a heap. The sobs he was emitting were echoing off the buildings in the alley. I sobbed with him.

It was all too much for me, as I knelt in a corner and emptied my stomach onto the pavement, barely aware of Angela's comforting hand on my back. I didn't deserve the comfort. Angela had no idea that I caused this, that this was my fault.

When Bella was hit by Tyler's van, she died instantly. Now that I had gone back and altered her fate, things were so much worse. This time, it looked like she'd been tortured, violated. Only God knows how long she was alive and suffering before they finally killed her.

It was then I remembered Aro's button. I fumbled in my pockets for it, and realized it was on the sport coat I'd draped over Bella. I had to get to it. I had to go back. I made things so much worse just by interfering. If I could just put things back the way they were, even if she had to get hit by the van again, then at least she wouldn't suffer.

I didn't know if Aro's panic switch would even work, but I knew I had to try. Circumventing Charlie's grieving body, I knelt down beside my Bella, giving her one last look. I brushed the matted hair away from her face and left a lingering kiss on her forehead as I covertly reached into the pocket of the coat, and pressed down on the button as hard as I could.

Everything froze around me, as if time stopped. Nobody was moving, talking, even breathing. They were all frozen in place. A black space opened before me, and I stepped in, and suddenly, my body was on fire again. Every limb of my body was tingling as if I were struck by lightning.

After a few agonizing seconds, I was panting heavily from the lingering sensations, and sitting in the same chair I'd left from, five days earlier.

Aro cocked his head a little at me, then his eyes lit up in recognition. "Back so soon?"

I stared at him pointedly. "I need to ask you some questions."

* * *

A/N- Thoughts? Please review!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8**

"_I need to ask you some questions."_

"I expected as much," Aro responded, reaching a hand out to help me out of the chair. I was still a little shaky on my feet from the electrical impulses that rocked through my limbs a few moments ago. "Shall we return to my office? We can be more comfortable there."

I nodded and followed him silently out and back up the elevator. His brothers didn't follow. Once reaching his office, I settled myself in the chair across from Aro's desk and he looked at me intently.

"Your questions?" he prompted.

"What day is it?" I asked him.

"The same as you left, just a few minutes later," he answered simply, offering no further explanation.

"I was gone for more than a week. Wouldn't time have continued to move forward?"

Aro smiled. "That is your problem, young Edward. You see time as a straight line, a beginning and an end, but time isn't linear. I like to think of it more as a spider-web," he said, standing up and moving to one of his wide boards. He drew a haphazard rendering of a spider web in black marker, using dozens of concentric circles, then placed a point in the middle, drawing out several lines from the center like spokes in a bicycle wheel. Then he picked up a red marker. "The straight lines represent planes of existence."

"Planes of existence?" I asked, seeking clarification.

He moved the red marker, following over one black line. "This is one timeline, and as you follow it, you see that you continually intersect with the circles. At these points, you can follow the circle, bringing you around to another plane of existence." I watched as he followed the straight line, then verged off across an intersecting circle, landing on another straight line and continuing to follow it towards the center.

"So, you're saying that there are alternate universes?"

"Yes, and the wormhole I sent you through basically traveled you from one plane to another."

"So there are different versions of me in other universes?" I asked skeptically.

"Sort of," he explained. "It comes down to consciousness, of which we all have only one. Right now, your consciousness is in this universe, which is different from the one you left from prior to your visit to the past. We are now on a separate timeline from our original one. This universe, which we have yet to entirely discover, may be slightly or very different, depending on what you have changed in the past."

"So the original timeline remains unchanged?"

"I believe you caused a shift, bringing our consciousness to this timeline. The former should remain unchanged."

"Then how are you here? How do you know what is going on in this universe, if I left you from another?"

"I assume that it's because I was directly involved in the original shift. I sent you back, and somehow, when you returned, my consciousness moved along with yours."

"When you speak of consciousness, you mean what?"

"Your soul, basically. Everything inside of you, all of your thoughts, dreams, feelings. It is your life energy."

"And the other versions of me?"

"Are essentially placeholders. They look, walk, and talk like you, do the same things as you do, but they are basically empty shells."

"This is bizarre," I admitted. _How did he know all this? Was he correct?_ It seemed highly implausible.

Ignoring my comment, he said, "One thing I fear we may have trouble with is converging your memories from one timeline to this. You may not remember much from the past four years, since you were not an active participant in the events that occurred after you hit the panic switch. However, I theorize that eventually the memories will return once your life force fully fuses with the version of you in this timeline. Tell me, have your memories changed at all?"

"No," I insisted. "Everything is exactly the same. What I changed could have had no bearing on this universe. She still died."

"On the contrary, it has everything to do with it. We now exist in a plane of time where the events you altered could have a very significant impact on the present. So, what _did_ you change?"

"Nothing," I answered, feeling defeated. "I changed absolutely nothing. She's _dead_," I stressed, annoyed that he didn't seem to be absorbing that simple fact.

"And she died in the same exact manner?"

A wave of nausea hit me full force. "Worse," I answered, grasping at my stomach in a futile attempt to dull the pain. "I changed nothing, expect making her death more painful and excruciating for her."

"I think you'd be surprised at how much may have changed in the world around you, just because of small changes in the past."

"Yeah, I saw The Butterfly Effect too," I muttered angrily. "It doesn't matter, because everything is still fucked."

"I see," Aro responded. "Would you like to try again, then?"

"And end up in yet another plane of existence?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Probably," he admitted with a shrug.

"I need time to think," I answered.

"Your next class is Wednesday. Let's talk afterwards, and if you wish to attempt this again, we will do so just after."

"Alright," I answered. My head was pounding now, and I wanted nothing more than to lie down, so I started the trek back to my dorm room. The campus was crowded with people again, and I couldn't ignore the odd looks some of them were given me. I figured that I probably looked like a walking zombie, as that's exactly what I felt like.

As I walked, I scoffed internally at Aro's insistence that things in this universe would be so drastically different. Everything around me felt the same. My memories hadn't changed a bit. Even the weather was the same, slightly warm for the season with just a little drizzle, just as it was when I left. What could have possibly changed so drastically?

As I approached my dorm, I found myself hoping that Jasper had returned from Alice's dorm by now. He always seemed to have a calming effect on me, and I felt comfortable talking to him.

I met Jasper Whitlock my freshman year. He was a transfer student from Texas, and a year ahead of me. We got along right away. He was very easygoing, kept his side of the room straight, and was quiet and polite. Although we didn't hang out often, I would consider him a good friend. He was always a good man to bounce ideas off, or just listen when I needed someone to talk to. He never judged me about my feelings for Bella, or my determination to change the past. He just listened intently, interjecting when necessary, but overall being supportive.

Alice had come over to our dorm room to visit with me two weeks into my first semester, and she and Jasper hit it off right away. They were complete opposites, and they complimented each other perfectly. He was tall, dwarfing her by at least a foot. She loved to talk, and he liked to quietly listen. He also had the ability to rein her in when she got too hyper. The love they had for each other was written all over their faces, all the time. I was happy for them.

When I finally made it to my dorm room, I was startled by the image of his bare ass on full display, making love to Alice. I'd seen him naked before, but it never got easier.

"Sorry," I muttered, turning to leave. It wouldn't be the first time I waited in the hallway for them to finish up their activities, but such was dorm life.

They obviously hadn't heard me come in, because as soon as I spoke, a startled woman-who was definitely _not_ Alice- sat bolt upright wrapping a sheet around her chest. "Who the hell are you?" I demanded.

"Get the fuck out, perv," she snapped at me, speaking with a thick, possibly Mexican accent.

"Jasper, what the fuck? How could you do this to Alice?" I demanded, ignoring their state of undress.

"What? What the fuck is wrong with you, Edward? Could you give us a minute, please?" Jasper pled, looking embarrassed.

I gritted my teeth and exited the room, slamming the door on the way out. I slid down the wall outside the door and put my head in my hands, feeling horrible for Alice. She was like a sister to me, and the last person I would ever expect to cheat on her would be Jasper. I didn't think he had it in him, but I guess you never know about people.

A few minutes later, the woman stormed out, her long brown hair flowing behind her. She didn't spare me a second glance. I huffed and went back in the room, determined to confront Jasper.

"Edward, you alright man?" he asked. "I guess I should have put a sock on the door or something. I thought you had class."

"I wasn't feeling well," I lied, crossing my arms. "Seriously, who the hell was that?"

"Maria?" he asked. "My girlfriend. You've met her like a hundred times. She was here when you went to bed last night. Really, are you feeling okay?"

"Your girlfriend? What about Alice?"

"Who's Alice?" he asked, scratching his head, looking completely dumbfounded.

I studied his face and could find no hint that he was lying. He honestly had no idea who Alice was, which means that something I changed in the past affected their relationship presently. I could hardly wrap my head around it. Aro was right.

"No one," I whispered in answer to his question.

"Are you alright?" Jasper asked. "You're shaking."

"Stress," I rasped out, feeling like the world was caving in on me. "I think I'm going to go home for a few days."

Jasper eyed me warily before nodding his agreement. "Yeah. I think that's a good idea, man."

~~C.O.T.~~

It was a four-hour trip from Forks to Seattle, and the lengthy drive gave me the opportunity to really think about what had happened.

It simply confounded me that prolonging Bella Swan's death for one week altered the status of Alice and Jasper's relationship. I thought of Aro's explanation of timelines and alternate universes, but it wasn't making any sense. Normally my brain could absorb and understand copious amounts of information, but for now, I just felt drained.

The familiar wooden sign that proudly proclaimed that I was entering the Forks city limits comforted me instantly. Things suddenly just seemed greener, more lush, and more like home. Even the steady pouring rain was comforting. Though it had been drizzling since I left Seattle, it steadily picked up the closer I came to the ocean. Pulling up to my parents' house helped quell the growing ache in my stomach. I knew the promise of a warm meal and a nap were close, and I was desperate to settle down, and to just be alone and think.

The house looked exactly as it did the last time I left it, except I couldn't help but notice Esme's prized herb garden at the corner of the house was covered in weeds. I used to enjoy helping Esme with the garden, as I found it relaxing. I decided that maybe I would weed it for her later. It was very unlike her not to keep up with it, but she must be busy with something else.

I was surprised to find the door locked. It a city like Forks, most residents never felt the need to lock their doors. Everyone knew everyone else, and there was hardly any crime. Charlie Swan made sure of that. He was a damn good police chief.

I unlocked the door and stepped into the foyer. My mother's car was in the driveway, so I figured she was home.

"Carlisle?" I heard her call from the kitchen as I closed the front door. "Is that you?"

"No, it's me, Edward."

"Edward?" she asked surprised, emerging from the kitchen, wiping her hands on an apron. She appeared much more aged than I remembered. Her face was set with wrinkles, and the bags below her eyes were dark and prominent.

She'd always been proud to be the town doctor's wife, and always took great pride in her appearance, even around the house. She would never be caught dead in anything less than her Sunday best, with her hair and makeup done before she even came downstairs in the morning. She always said it was important to make a good impression on people, and you never know who might stop by.

But here she stood, wearing a ragged housecoat with bare feet. She wore no makeup, and her hair, which she once dyed religiously, was unkempt and graying. She looked absolutely haggard, and I was instantly worried about her.

"Hey, mom. How are you?" I asked, looking her over with concern. "Are you sick?"

"No, I feel fine," she said, staring at me in confusion. "What are you doing home? Don't you have class?"

I looked at my feet as I said, "Yeah, but I was feeling homesick I guess, and stressed. Is it ok if I stay for a couple of days?"

"Of course, Edward. This is still your home. You're always welcome. Are you sure you're okay?"

_No, _I thought. "Yes," I answered. "I'm just really tired."

"Why don't you go take a nap? I was just fixing some dinner, I can wake you when it's ready. It will be nice to have someone to talk to over dinner for a change," she muttered distantly.

"Dad isn't home much for dinner?" I asked. I knew he worked long hours, but I remembered him almost always coming home for dinner, if only to return right back to the hospital when he was finished eating. Family meal times were important to him, as he said it kept families together.

"Honey, your father hardly comes home anymore at all. I think he sleeps in his office half the time."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Edward, I thought you knew all of this. He's just changed ever since Rosalie ran off. He's been coping badly with the entire situation, and instead of dealing with it, he decided to immerse himself in work," she said, her voice laced with bitterness.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I didn't realize things had gotten so bad."

She brushed a stray tear from her eye before responding, "It's not that bad, really. Go, have a nap, and I'll make us some dinner, then we can talk, okay?"

I approached her and enveloped her into a hug, and she stiffened under my touch before relaxing and returning the hug.

"Where did that come from?" she asked.

I frowned at her. "You looked like you could use one. Was I wrong?"

"Wrong? No, of course not. I was just surprised. You hardly ever hug me anymore. It was nice."

I stopped hugging my mother? Jesus, what was wrong with me?

The throbbing in my head returned then. It felt like there was a void in my mind, itching to be filled with memories, of the facts I'd forgotten. My parents loved each other so much; I could never even envision them ever having any kind of martial problems. Now he was sleeping in his office? And what did she mean by Rosalie leaving home? Wasn't she at the university with me? She should be graduating in a couple months.

Despite my brain's protests, my mind could not recall the information I was missing, just as Aro had suggested.

Fuck, this was confusing. I gave my mother a parting smile before heading up to my bedroom, surprised to find it exactly as I remembered, not a thing out of place. The familiarity was incredibly comforting as I laid on the soft sheets, and fell asleep almost immediately.

Before I knew it, there was a soft knock on my door, and as I groaned and checked my alarm clock, I saw that an entire hour had passed. "Dinner's ready," my mother called from the other side of the door. "Take your time."

As the fog of sleep cleared my mind, I was disheartened to find I still could remember nothing. I knew I needed to ask my mother some questions, and that it was important to do so in a way that she wouldn't pick up on the fact I couldn't remember anything. Maybe if I just let her talk, something would spark my memory.

But when I sat, there was nothing but silence at the table. There were only awkward, uncomfortable glances shared as we each filled our plates.

After we each took a few bites, she threw her fork down on her plate in disgust. "I'm sorry, Edward. I thought we could have a meal and pretend things were like they were, but you know as well as I do that we just can't pretend anymore."

"Why? Why can't things go back the way they were?" I asked anxiously, the distress in my mother's face turning knots in my stomach.

"I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what else I can say to make this right. Your father and I neglected you when you needed us, and for that, I apologize. But you can't just come over here like nothing happened and expect everything to be normal. I know that you resent me, Edward, I do. I've come to terms with it."

"I don't resent you," I insisted. I couldn't imagine a thing she could have done to me to make me resent her. My parents were good people, honest, hardworking and caring. They always treated my sister and me well. What the hell happened?

After Bella's accident – her first real accident with the van – it was _me_ that withdrew. My parents were constantly doting in the beginning, insisting that I should see a therapist to help me with grief. They gently tried to convince me that my obsessions with changing the past weren't normal. It was me who pulled away from them though. Eventually, they stopped trying, but for that I couldn't resent them. It was my fault, after all.

She scoffed at me. "How could you not resent me? I've been wallowing in self-pity for the last four years, and have hardly paid you any attention. Edward, while you were napping just now, I was sitting here trying to think of something to say to try to make things right again. I was going to ask you about school, and I realized that I can't even remember what your major is. What kind of mother am I?" she cried.

"The best kind," I insisted. "You were always there for us! Every cut, every scrape, every bad day. You were a great mom. You gave us everything we ever needed and more."

"You're not really making me feel any better, Edward, but I appreciate the sentiment," she said, staring off into the distance.

I was getting nowhere with this, as she was talking in circles. I pulled at my hair in frustration, and tried to play into her, pretend I was angry. "So why don't you tell me what happened then?" I asked, with an edge to my voice.

"You know what happened," she whispered quietly.

"I want to hear you say it, out loud," I said through gritted teeth. I hated speaking to my mother this way, but I had to find out what the problem was. If she was convinced I resented her, maybe making her think I did would draw some information out of her.

"I practically forgot about you, okay? After Rosalie left with Royce, and then after she came back… and she wouldn't listen to us. We put all our energy into finding her, trying to fix her when she obviously didn't want our help. I wasn't even there the day you left for college, and now you don't even come home anymore. I've spent the last three years regretting my decisions, and the way I've treated you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Royce?" I choked, ignoring her question. Realizing that this was information I should already know, I quickly added, "I still can't believe she went back to him."

"It tore our family apart," she agreed solemnly, tears beginning to leak from the corners of her eyes. "The day she came back, trying to hide her damn bruises under all that makeup, denying anything was wrong, refusing to let us help her. It just tore me up inside. I don't even know where my own daughter is now."

I processed internally. This was bad. Rosalie is back with Royce, he's abusing her, and now she's missing?

"Can't we send the police out after her? Someone?"

"Edward, you know it all leads to dead ends. Your father even hired that private investigator remember? It was all for nothing. Even if she was found, there's no guarantee she'd even come back to us."

"Then _make_ her come back," I shouted, rage boiling in my blood as I recalled the night he attacked her. "Don't give her a choice."

"You know we've tried that. The police won't do anything unless she agrees to press charges, and last time we pushed her, she disappeared from our lives completely. I know that hurt you, too. I don't think I could go through that again."

"What about Emmett? What happened there?"

"Emmett?" she asked. "Swan? I haven't heard that name in so long. "What does he have to do with any of this?"

"He saved her once," I insisted. "Maybe…"

"You know that's not possible now. Just because he was there that one time… well, I just really don't see how that has any bearing on this whatsoever."

"Sorry," I said. "It was just an errant thought."

She shrugged, and picked her fork back up. "Ugh, who am I kidding?" she asked after a moment. "I can't eat this right now. Do you want me to wrap yours up too?"

"Sure, thanks," I answered. "And mom, just so you know, I could never resent you. Things have been hard for me too. I guess I neglected you as much as you did me. I'm sorry I haven't been home much."

She sobbed and reached for my hand across the table. "Oh, Edward. You saying that means the world to me."

"I'll try to be there for you more," I insisted. "I promise."

"Thank you," she sniffled. "And I promise to do the same for you. Your father will be so happy to hear that you visited."

"I'll stop by the hospital before I go back," I assured her. "I'd like to see him anyway."

"Well, I think I need to lay for a few minutes," she said, wiping the stray tears from her face.

"That's okay, take the time you need," I insisted. "I'll probably just drive around town a bit, clear my head."

As she retreated up the stairs, I packed up the rest of the food for her, thinking over what I'd been told. Emmett is not in Rosalie's life at all? My mother hardly remembered him being there for her after her attack. How could so much have changed?

Slowly, flickers of memories were coming back into my mind, but nothing that made complete sense. I needed more information. I knew before I returned back to school and to Aro, I really needed to understand what went wrong, so that I wouldn't make the same mistakes again.

After dinner was put away, I grabbed my car keys, my next destination in mind. I needed to go see Charlie Swan.

The Swans lived a little off the main road on a small cul-de-sac. As I turned in, I almost didn't recognize the house. The shutters were hanging at odd angles, and the blinds beyond the windows were visibly torn. The yard was overgrown, almost two feet high, and the standard police cruiser was missing, with the old red truck in its space in the driveway. Multiple days worth of newspapers were scattered across the lawn, flattening the tall grass in spots. Aside from the truck, the house looked abandoned.

I trudged through the high grass and knocked on the door. When there was no answer, I peered in the living room window, and saw Charlie sitting there, wearing sweats and an old tee-shirt, watching something on the television. He was home, just ignoring the door. If it wasn't so important, I would have left him alone, but I knew I needed answers from him, and I needed them as soon as possible.

I knocked loudly on the window, and he shot a glare at me before huffing and rising to his feet, a bottle of some sort of liquor in hand.

"Aren't you the guy that dated my daughter once?" he grumbled as he swung the door open, taking a swig of the brown liquid straight from his bottle.

"Yes, sir. Edward Cullen," I reminded him.

"Whatever," he muttered. "What, you come here to stir my shit up? I don't need to tell you that Bella's not here."

"No, sir, I'm well aware of that. Listen, I just came here to ask you for help with something." _Lie, _I reminded myself. "I've been… sick. I've been having trouble recalling some memories, especially since the night Bella was attacked."

"Attacked?" he barked. "You mean, raped? Tortured? Left to die?" he was screaming now, his face turning an unhealthy shade of purple. I took an involuntary step backwards.

"I was just hoping you could tell me what happened that night. I don't mean any harm. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

Charlie glared at me again, and took another swig of his bottle. "Son, you being here isn't stirring up any bad memories. Not a day goes by where I don't think about what happened to my daughter that night. I lost my daughter, and then my son a month later. You don't think that shit haunts me _every fucking day_?"

Lost his son? What the hell happened to Emmett?

"I'm sure it does. I'm sorry, sir," I answered, not really knowing what else to say.

"It should have been me," he said, so quietly I could hardly hear.

"What should have been you?"

"Prison," he growled. "It should be me in there and not Emmett," he growled, rearing his fist back and punching the wall next to the doorframe, leaving the indentation of his fist in the drywall. "What the fuck kind of father am I for letting him rot away for something that I should have had the fucking courage to do?"

"I didn't know. I'm sorry," I said, my stomach turning. Once again I asked myself, _What have I done?_

"You seem like a good kid," he muttered, after studying me for a few moments, swaying a little as he did. "Come in."

I breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn't expected him to invite me in, especially not after his previous outburst, but I wasn't afraid of him. Despite his angry outward demeanor, I saw only pain in his eyes. He was a father mourning for his children, feeling guilty over what had transpired. I was so desperate for the valuable information he had that I would do anything, so I followed him inside with a quiet, "Thank you."

He stumbled a bit on his way to the kitchen and returned with a tumbler glass. "You're old enough to drink now, right?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," I answered. "I turned twenty-one in June." I didn't figure it would help at all to tell a man so already drunk that I didn't drink. He poured me a glass and flopped down on the couch across from me, bottle still in hand. I pretended to take a sip as he started to speak.

"Bella would have turned in September," he mused quietly. "So what is it that you need to know? I'll help you if I can."

"What happened that night?" I asked carefully. "My memories… are inconsistent. What really happened four years ago? And why is Emmett in prison?"

* * *

A/N- Thoughts, comments, concerns? I'd love to hear them! Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing so far :)


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9

_"What happened that night?" I asked carefully. "My memories… are inconsistent. What really happened four years ago? And why is Emmett in prison?"_

Pain clouded Charlie's features as he took a long drink straight from his bottle. "You really don't remember?"

"Not a thing. The last thing I remember is being in the alley when Angela and I found her. I can't remember anything after that."

"You ever consider that maybe your mind blacked it out for a reason?" he asked. "Like maybe it's a blessing? I know you didn't know her all that long, but I could tell you were taken with her. It was all over your face every morning when you picked her up from school."

"I thought you didn't remember me," I commented lightly, raising an eyebrow.

"I was fucking with you. You don't think I'd remember the first boy that ever came around pining for my only daughter? I just couldn't figure out what the hell you were doing on my doorstep now, after all these years."

"I just came for some answers."

Charlie sighed. "And I'll give them to you, but you understand it hurts me to talk about it."

"I know. The abbreviated version would be more than enough," I said. "I'm not sure I want to hear all the details," I admitted, grimacing at the thought. Poor Charlie, having to live with that kind of pain every day.

After another long pull of his drink, and a few moments of silence, he cleared his throat. "The girls said that she wanted to go to some bookstore, so she ditched them, said she was going to meet you after. She must have made a wrong turn or something, because she ended up lost in that alley…" he trailed off, shutting his eyes tightly as if to erase the bad memories.

"I saw how she looked… after," I told him. "I have an idea about what might have happened."

"There were four of them. Fucking frat boys, home from the weekend from college. Just kids. They were doing a lot of drinking, and they stumbled across her. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Two of 'em raped her while the other two watched. They beat her up something awful too. Then one of the guys, the sickest fucker of the bunch, took out a knife and sliced her across the stomach real deep. His friends tried to stop him, but he fought them off, said he couldn't keep her alive to rat on him. That's where all the blood came from. I heard she was screaming the whole time, telling them she'd give them whatever they wanted if they'd stop. She was begging and crying for her life while they hurt her and left her to die."

"How do you know what happened?"

"One of 'em was so filled up with guilt, I guess. He turned 'em all in, even himself. He got a reduced sentence for cooperating, but he told us everything that happened," he muttered, examining his now empty bottle as if it would magically refill.

Something was nagging at my brain. It wasn't just the horror of finding out exactly what happened to Bella, more like I was reliving it. My brain was starting to make fuzzy connections, until it felt like someone switched on a bright light inside my brain. I cried out in pain; my head felt like it was being shocked from inside my skull as the pieces came together. The memories were crystal clear now, and suddenly, I was back in front of the courthouse.

_*2008_

_It was already late morning, but with the heavy darkness of the storm clouds overhead, one could hardly tell. It might as well have been nighttime, considering how dreary and dark it was outside. Rosalie flipped open her umbrella as the rain started to pour, and offered me a spot underneath it. I politely refused, instead enjoying the chill of the rain as it soaked through my clothes._

_My parents were already inside, talking to the attorneys. It was the second day of the trial, and my turn to testify. I had to tell the jury everything I saw the day I found her. It was bad enough that I had to relieve it every night in my nightmares, but now I had to stand in front of a room full of people and tell them exactly what I saw. The lawyer advised me to be as graphic as possible. The thought made my stomach churn._

_Riley Biers was the name of the one who turned his friends in. He didn't take part in the rape, but he was there and did nothing to stop it. He was as guilty as the rest of them. All four of the bastards would be arriving shortly, though I knew Riley was to be escorted separately, 'for his safety.' _

Fuck his safety_, I thought. _He didn't give a damn about Bella's, after all.

Riley arrived before his former friends, escorted by a police officer. He kept his eyes trained on the ground as he walked, looking like his soul had been shattered. I couldn't care less. He deserved to suffer.

_I knew the court wouldn't be called to order until the other three arrived, so I used the precious time to calm my nerves. I really didn't want to speak today, even if it meant putting these bastards behind bars forever._

"_It'll be over before you know it," Rosalie said sympathetically, sensing my anxiety. _

"_I just don't want the defense to badger me with a bunch of questions. I just want to say my peace and get off the stand."_

"_It's not like the movies, I bet," Rosalie said. "I'm sure you'll be fine."_

"_Is Emmett coming?" I asked, purposely trying to change the subject. The trial started the day before, and he was a no show. I wondered if he would come today._

"_He said he wasn't," Rosalie said with a deep frown. "He's taking this really hard. I wish there was something I could do or say to make it better for him, but there just isn't. I'm worried about him."_

_I nodded in agreement. It was disturbing to watch someone who was once so light, carefree, and funny in such a dark place. He withdrew, barely coming out of his room anymore. He'd lost weight over the past month; he hardly ate anything anymore.. He was a shell of what he once was. _

"_You don't have to be here, you know," I told her. "You should go to him. He probably needs someone."_

_She reached for my hand and squeezed it gently. "So do you."_

_I knew she was right. As I started to thank her, we were startled by the squealing tires of the prison van screeching to a halt right in front of us. We watched as the back doors opened, and three orange-clad figures were guided out, all handcuffed and with police escort. _

_We never saw him. Three quick, well-aimed shots, rang out in succession, causing each of the men to crumple to the ground. It took less than ten seconds for it all to unfold. As panic erupted at the front of the courthouse, the last person we expected to see stepped out from the tree line. Emmett placed a pistol at his feet, and immediately put his hands in the air._

_His eyes were dull and lifeless, and he didn't even spare us a glance as we stood gaping in shock, watching as he was thrown against the hood of a police car and cuffed. _

_I held Rosalie as she sobbed. _

"I remember," I gasped, opening my eyes to find Charlie eyeing me warily.

"You need me to call your father, son? Your eyes were twitching a little there. Thought you were having a seizure for a second."

"No, it's just… the sickness," I lied, trembling head to toe. "I remember now, Emmett at the courthouse. How is he? Is he okay?"

"He's surviving, I guess. I go see him once a month; that's all he's allowed. He's a strong kid, always was, but I can tell that prison is changing him. He's not the same person I remember. Sometimes I wish I could go back and never put a gun in his hand. I should have never taught him how to shoot so well. There are so many things I would change if I just had another chance."

"You can't think like that," I said, wincing at the irony of my statement. "It won't help anything."

He only grunted in response.

"I should probably go. I've taken enough of your time. Will you tell Emmett I said hello when you see him next?"

He nodded in response, staring idly off into space. I took it as my cue to leave. As I reached the door, he said, "You were always a good kid, Edward. I would never have admitted it at the time, but I was glad that my daughter seemed to have eyes for only you. I always thought you'd be good for her. I guess we'll never know."

My hand froze around the knob as I clenched it, my knuckles turning white. "I guess not," I rasped out.

But Charlie was wrong. I wasn't good for her. I was a monster. If only he knew I had a direct hand in her demise, that my careless actions resulted in a fate so much worse for her.

Maybe Emmett should have shot me too. I probably deserved a lot worse.

~~C.O.T.~~

I didn't see my father on my way out of town. I called and left my mother a message telling her that something urgent came up at school and I had to leave right away. I felt bad for lying, especially after the promises I made to her, but I needed to get out of Forks as fast as possible.

I was already devising a plan. As much as I didn't want to, and as much as I failed the last time, I couldn't not go back and try to fix this. My meddling in the past only made things so much worse for everyone involved. Emmett, who was currently rotting away in prison, was never there for my sister. My sister, therefore, went back to that scumbag, Royce; now they were both missing. Charlie gave up on life, drinking away his sorrows and living the events of the past over and over again in his mind. Even my parents were suffering, their once close relationship hanging on by only a thread, and it was all my fault. And where the hell was Alice? Why did she never meet Jasper?

Then I remembered. Alice never went to college. In fact, the last I remembered, she walked across the stage to get her diploma and never looked back. She was gone the next day, her yellow Porsche abandoned in the driveway of her parents' house.

A week before their graduation ceremony, she and my sister had a big fight, and it was because of Royce. Rosalie, despite having been accepted, decided that she wasn't going to go to the University of Washington, instead saying that she was going to take a year off and travel with him.

Alice was beside herself. She begged her to see reason, tried to tell her that Royce wasn't good for her. They fought and screamed for hours, but Rosalie wouldn't budge. Ultimately, Alice felt betrayed. She was only going to college because Rosalie encouraged her to. She was never really college-minded. So when Rosalie decided not to go, Alice took off, desperate to escape from the clutches of her wealthy parents and "find herself." Nobody had seen her since.

It was strange to have all these memories now floating inside my head. Aro said that at some point I would remember. Even though I skipped over those years, but some part of me lived through it. Though the memories were now crystal clear, I still felt like a third party observer as they drifted through my mind, as if I were watching a movie.

I was frustrated. Every part of this was frustrating. The memories of things that I somehow lived through, but skipped over in my careless gallivanting through time.

I made it to Seattle in what must have been record time, anxious to see Aro again. I knew what I needed to do.

As I approached the campus, I turned down a street that would lead me the closest to the science building, when I noticed a familiar figure outside a Seattle's Best, cleaning up stray coffee cups.

I couldn't find it in me to not stop. I pulled the car to a halt, double parking, and jumped out. "Alice?" I called in question.

She looked up quickly, and she was just as I remembered, short and pixie-like, shooting me a glowing smile. "Edward?" she squealed, rushing towards me and jumping into my arms. I returned her embrace tighter than I ever had before.

"Alice," I mused. "It's so good to see you. How are you?"

"I'm good!" she exclaimed. "Working here kind of sucks, but it's just temporary, you know? You have time to talk? I can take a break."

"That sounds good," I said. "Let me park my car."

"There's an employee lot in the back. Pull around back there, and I'll grab us some coffee, okay?"

By the time I pulled the car around, Alice was waiting for me outside the store with two steaming cups in front of her. I accepted mine with a polite smile and sat across from her.

"So, Edward, how are you? I haven't seen you in like, forever."

"Well, you kind of took off."

She scowled a little. "How _is_ Rosalie, anyway?"

"Nobody knows," I muttered. "She took off too. We haven't seen her in a couple of years."

Alice frowned. "I hope she's okay," she said distantly. "I hope he treats her right."

"He doesn't," I said, shaking my head, remembering the bruises I'd seen on her once. "But how are you? Anyone good in your life?"

"Nope," she said, popping the 'p'. "Still waiting for Mr. Right. He's out there somewhere."

"You believe in all that?" I asked curiously. "Soul mates?"

"Of course. Don't you?"

"I'm not so sure," I said, as I blew in my coffee, trying to cool it down. "Maybe I did once."

She smiled sadly at me. "It's Bella, isn't it? You never got over her."

"Nope," I responded, mimicking her.

"She was your soul mate," Alice said confidently. "I'm sure of it."

"I guess that's why I can't get over her," I answered. I saw her quickly check her watch, and knew my time was up. "Your break is almost over. I'll get out of your hair. It was really good to see you."

We both rose to our feet, and she wrapped me in a warm hug. "You too, Edward. Now you know where I work, so come by and see me again, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed. "By the way, I wouldn't worry too much. Your soul mate could be just around the corner," I told her with a wink.

Once in the car and driving back towards campus, I was firm on my previous decision. I knew what I needed to do. The changes I made to the past ruined everyone's lives. Everyone was miserable, except maybe Alice, but I couldn't imagine her ever not being happy, no matter the circumstance.

I knew that going back and trying to spare Bella's life for a second time, would just be careless. I just needed to erase what I changed, and return everything to normal.

Because as much as I hated to admit it, I knew that saving one life, even the life of the woman I loved, was not worth the heartache it caused to everyone around her. Even Bella would probably kick my ass if she knew what I had done. I intended to right my wrongs one last time, and finally accept the hand that fate had dealt both of us. It was the only way.

As I entered the Physics building, I knew it was a long shot that I might see Aro there. It was nearing ten at night, but I knew there were night classes on Mondays, one of which Banner taught. Perhaps Aro was covering that class too. If not, I was determined to sit in the hallway until the doors opened in the morning. I didn't want to waste another minute.

To my good fortune, though, I spotted him quickly. He was standing outside his office door, briefcase in hand. He caught my gaze as I strode down the hall, a man on a mission.

"This is a surprise," he said, though his bored tone indicated otherwise. "Have you made a decision already?"

"I know what I need to do," I answered. He didn't have to ask me what that decision was; it was written all over my face.

"Then let's go," he said, striding confidently down the hall that would lead us to the elevator. We stepped on in silence, and he hit the _SB_ button, and down we went.

As I settled into the chair, he handed me back the panic switch I'd returned to him that morning. "May I ask what your plan is this time?"

"I'm going back to the morning of the accident. I won't save her. She needs to die the way fate intended. I won't let anyone else suffer for my carelessness."

Aro smirked, as if lost inside his own private joke. "Then off we go."

I settled back into the chair as he placed the electrodes on my head. I welcomed the familiar pain as it filled my limbs, and I focused on the morning of the accident.

I arrived once again in my mother's kitchen, just like the first time. I took my time finishing the meal that was in front of me, kissed my mother goodbye, and got into my car.

Bella's truck was already there in the parking lot, and I couldn't help but spare her one last gaze as she stood at the tailgate, her nose in that same thick book. I wanted to bolt inside the school to spare myself from again seeing what I already knew would happen, but I was afraid to change even one thing. I had to watch it unfold just as I did the first time. I got out of the car; I remembered being out of the car when the van first skidded into the parking lot.

My rational brain was screaming at me to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, yet my heart was the one guiding my body. As soon as I saw the first flash of the blue of Tyler's van, I was running, faster than I ever thought possible, racing against the clock. I heard the van skidding as I neared her, but I didn't look back. I simply didn't have it in me to watch her die again. I barreled into her full force, knocking us both down onto the ice. Together we skid a few feet to the side of the impending impact, just out of harms way. The van crashed against the truck's rear, then skidded off and continued to slide in the opposite direction of us. It hit another car, then rolled onto its side.

Students and faculty were screaming all around us, but I was transfixed by the wide, doe-eyed stare of the beautiful girl below me, her eyes wide with shock.

As a teacher approached us, asking if we were okay, I snapped back to reality.

I did it again.

Oh, fuck.

* * *

A/N- I really appreciate everyone who is reading and reviewing. Thank you so much! I plan on updating this story every Thursday from here on out. Please let me know what you think so far :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10**

The cries of surprise from the gathering students were muffled by my thundering heartbeat. Bella stared up at me, her warm brown eyes a mixture of surprise, relief, and confusion.

Realizing that I was resting nearly all my weight on her, I shifted back on my heels, pulling her with me so that she was cradled in my arms, draped across my lap. Her gaze never left mine.

"Edward?" she asked, her voice garbled. I began to panic as her eyes started to drift upwards, back into her head.

"Bella, what's wrong? Did you hit your head?" I asked frantically, running my fingers across her scalp as gently as I could, and feeling a large welt starting to form.

"The van... how did you know?" she mumbled, as her eyes started to drift close.

"Don't close your eyes," I cautioned her, searching around frantically for help. I managed to get the attention of Coach Clapp, who had just arrived on the scene.

"What happened?" he asked, kneeling down next to us.

"I pushed her out of the way, but she hit her head. She might have a concussion."

"I'll call for another ambulance," he agreed, after studying her face for a moment.

"No ambulance," Bella murmured. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Bella," I argued as gently as I could. "You need to see a doctor."

"I don't feel so good," she told me, turning her head suddenly and vomiting on the pavement next to us.

I pulled her hair back from her face as she retched, and when she was finished, she gave me a sheepish look.

"It's okay," I told her in a soothing voice. "Just stay awake for a little while.

"Sorry," she slurred. I shook her gently as her eyes started to close again.

"Bella!" a booming voice shouted from somewhere nearby. Emmett appeared suddenly, his hulking form hovering over us as he glared down at me. "What happened to her?"

"He saved me," Bella said yawning. "He pushed me out of the way."

"They called an ambulance for her. She might have a concussion."

He knelt next to us and pulled her from my arms without permission, holding her to his chest tightly. She looked so small against his enormous body, so fragile.

After what seemed like an incredibly long time, an ambulance finally arrived. I watched, sick to my stomach, as she was strapped onto a stretcher and a neck brace was applied. I hadn't even considered a spinal injury when I so carelessly held her to me. What was I thinking?

After the ambulance pulled away, and the crowd of onlookers started to dwindle, I remained motionless on my spot of the pavement. I was furious with myself for what I had done.

Once again, I challenged fate for my own selfish needs. Time would only tell what was in store for her next. I was terrified to find out.

~~C.O.T.~~

Being the son of the chief of surgery had it's advantages. I knew all the best places to hide in the hospital. I was able to remain undetected but still hear snippets of what was going on. Bella was behind a curtain nearby, and I didn't want her to know I was there. She would have questions, and I didn't even know how to begin to answer them. I would have to lie to her, and that thought alone made me uneasy.

Even my being here was a lie, but she could never know.

But what could I tell her instead? That I knew the van was coming because I'd seen it happen twice before? That I fully intended on letting it hit her this time, because I knew there was a much worse fate around the corner? She'd never believe that, even if I did tell her the truth.

An adrenaline rush? I could tell her that, maybe. But I had been so careless. I started running towards her before the van even started swerving.

Maybe I could play off her head injury, tell her I was beside her the whole time. Maybe, just maybe, she would believe that. But then what?

I felt like a monster for what I had done. I had toyed with fate again, and it was Bella who might ultimately pay the consequences. The memoreis of the night in Port Angeles were spinning through my mind, and I knew without a doubt that I was as guilty as they were.

So now what? From the snippets of news I heard from my hiding spot in the corridor that lead to the nurses' lounge, I knew she was going to be okay. She had a few bumps and bruises from sliding across the pavement, and the welt on her head was now the size of a large egg, but the doctor said it was just a mild concussion. And since she was seemingly okay, that meant she would be fine to go to Port Angeles on Friday.

My goal of not interfering in her life was rapidly backfiring. I couldn't _not_ interfere now, knowing what could happen to her. If she planned to go to Port Angeles, I would have to stop her from going down the wrong street.

And then I would be done. I knew what I had to do. As much as it pained me, after I prevented her attack in Port Angeles, I would need to stay out of her life. It was the only way to ensure that fate wouldn't throw her another curve ball. I could no longer interfere. The last time I'd tried only caused heartache.

So as much as I wanted to go back and find her, hold her to me, let her know I was there for her, I knew I couldn't. I had to leave. Checking my surroundings and noticing nobody around me, I quickly made for the hospital exit. She could never know I was there.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to escape the hospital undetected. Somehow, during my musing and self loathing, Bella had already been discharged, and was standing near the hospital doors as I tried to slip out unnoticed.

"Edward?" she asked. I froze in my tracks, unable to ignore the electricity I felt in my spine as she called my name.

"Hi," I said uncomfortably, shuffling my feet, anxious for an exit. This girl had the ability to undo me with just a glance, but I was no good for her. I had to get away.

"I just wanted to say thanks. I don't want to imagine what would happen if you weren't there."

"You're welcome," I answered, shoving my trembling hands deep in my pockets and glancing towards the door.

"Can I ask you something?"

I knew where this was going. "Sure."

"How did you get to me so fast? It was as if you knew what was going to happen."

Holy hell, this girl missed nothing. It was now or never. I had to lie to her.

"Bella, I was standing right next to you," I told her, rolling my eyes.

"No, you were at your car across the lot. I saw you."

"That's not possible. You had your nose buried in your book."

She flushed pink as she said, "I was pretending to read. I was watching you. One minute you were in your car, then you were running towards me. Then the van came... but you were running at me first. I don't understand. How did you know?"

"You hit your head. You probably don't remember things clearly."

"I'm fine, Edward. The doctor just told me so. Why are you lying to me?" She looked hurt. The pitiful look in her eyes tore at my heartstrings, and suddenly, I couldn't breathe.

"Just let it go," I choked out, turning and stomping out the door.

~~C.O.T.~~

I paced outside the door to the biology classroom the next day, debating whether I should even bother going in. Being near Bella was downright painful sometimes, especially knowing I couldn't have her. I recalled the first time we ever saw each other, when she undid my entire being with just a glance.

"You coming in, or are you just going to stand out there all day, Mr. Cullen?" the teacher asked. I scowled at having been caught lurking outside the classroom. With a heavy sigh, I pulled my bag up higher on my shoulder and made my way inside with my head down.

Bella was already seated at our table, staring down at her hands as she twirled a pen between her fingers. She didn't look up at me as I sat, and for that I was grateful.

We spent the period in silence, but I couldn't help but notice the glances she kept giving me through her hair, just like she did that first day. It was agonizing to sit so close to her. I had missed her for so many years, and now she was here, right next to me, and I couldn't even touch her or talk to her.

With about ten minutes left to go in the class, I couldn't take her proximity any more. I rose from my chair and left the room without a word, feeling her eyes boring into my back.

I was officially the scum of the earth.

The next day was no better. Between second and third period, she was waiting outside of one of my classes standing with her arms crossed over her chest. She was glaring, yet trembling at the same time. She reminded me of a kitten that thought it was a tiger. It was actually adorable.

"What?" I asked her, trying hard to keep my voice detached.

"Why are you ignoring me?"

"Because I have nothing to say," I told her, moving to walk around her.

"Well I have plenty to say," she challenged as she stormed after me, quickening her pace to keep up with mine. When I didn't respond, she continued, "You're a bastard, you know that?"

"I know," I agreed, stopping in my tracks and spinning to face her, forcing my expression into a glare that matched her own. "Anything else?"

Her mouth opened and closed a few times like a gaping fish. "I thought you were different," she said quietly, her expression morphing into one of pure sadness. "On Friday, at the party, and at the hospital. What was that?" I winced at the memory of Royce's brutal attack on my sister, something I tried not to think of often.

"It was nothing," I told her flatly. "I was worried about my sister, and you just happened to be here."

I stared her down, waiting for her to say something, but she didn't. She just turned and walked in the other direction, her silky brown hair flowing behind her in waves.

If I wasn't the scum of the earth before, I definitely was now. I hated lying to her. I wish I could just tell her that her being there for me in the hospital wasn't nothing.

It was everything.

~~C.O.T.~~

Bella didn't try to talk to me after our argument. After two full days of us completely ignoring each other, I felt dead inside without her.

By the time Friday afternoon came, I was an emotional wreck. I knew I had to leave early to get to Port Angeles- I'd spend all day waiting for her in that damn bookstore if only to keep her safe. I would find a way to guide her from the alley that would take her life in the most unforgiving way, follow her from a distance until she arrived safely back with her friends, and then that would be it. She could continue to live her life without any interference from me.

As I was backing out of my parents driveway, I had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting the beastly red truck that came to a screeching halt directly behind my car. I first thought that it was Bella, coming to give me another piece of her mind, but it was Emmett. He was now storming towards my driver's side door. He pulled it open with such force that I would have fallen out if my seatbelt wasn't already on. I looked up at him, wide-eyed.

"What the fuck did you say to my sister?" he demanded, puffing his chest out and clenching his fists.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied, not looking him in the eyes.

"Look, if you want to continue on with your miserable existence and not have any friends, that's fucking fine. But the next time you make my sister fucking cry, I will kill you. I'm not kidding."

I shuddered. At one time, I would have never thought Emmett capable of killing anyone, but I learned the hard way that when it came to his sister all bets were off. He loved her as much as I loved my own sister, possibly more.

"I'm sorry," I told him honestly. The thought of Bella shedding a single tear over me made my heart break all over again. "I didn't mean to make her cry."

"Stay the fuck away from her," he warned. "I'm serious."

I nodded in assent. That was the plan anyway. He stormed past me and up to the house, and I had to make a series of awkward maneuvers to pull out of the driveway around the truck.

The bookstore was nearly empty when I arrived, making it impossible to go unnoticed by the lone cashier at the front. As I started to mindlessly look at the books, I could feel his eyes boring holes into me. I moved to a shelf near the back, mostly out of his view, but made sure I could still see the door.

"Can I help you find anything," he asked me after I browsed for a while. He approached me from behind, causing me to jump out of my skin.

"I'm just looking," I muttered.

"Yeah, you've been looking for over an hour. You want to buy something?"

I checked my watch, surprised that an hour had passed already. Bella would be here any minute.

"Please, just a few more minutes?"

"Ten minutes, then you can wait outside. You're giving me the creeps."

I caught a glimpse at myself in the bubbled security mirror in the corner. I looked like a wreck, my hair disheveled and my eyes wild. No wonder I was giving him the creeps. I murmured an apology, just as Bella walked through the door. The cashier gave me a curt nod and returned to his post at the front.

I watched Bella from behind a shelf as her fingers ghosted across the bindings of the books, a sense of peace overtaking her face. She would smile every now and then, picking up a book and gingerly flipping through it, before putting it back to grab another one. I even saw her once sniff the binding of one, then clutch it to her chest. I recognized the book she was holding. _The Complete Works of Jane Austen, _the same book that Angela had found in the alley. It was time.

Bella paid for the book and I followed her out, quickening my pace to catch up with her. She didn't seem to notice me approach, lost in her own little world as she started walking towards the alley that would lead to certain demise.

"Bella!" I called out to her, and she whipped her head around, startled.

"What?" she asked me, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

I grabbed her shoulders and spun her around in the right direction. "There's nothing back there but some abandoned buildings and junkies. Can you at least pay attention to where you're going?"

She stared at me, and I watched in horror as her lower lip started to tremble, and one large, fat tear slipped down her cheek. "Why are you so mean?" she whispered.

My heart clenched. I had been trying to push her away, not make her cry. "I don't mean to be; I just think this is the best way. Bella, we shouldn't be friends."

"Well, maybe you should have thought of that earlier," she cried, more tears slipping down her face. I resisted the urge to brush them away. "I mean, why didn't you just let the van crush me, save yourself all this regret?"

I choked back my own sob as I took in her tortured expression. "You think I regret saving you?" I asked her, my voice cracking.

"I can see that you do. I just don't know why. I really thought you were different, Edward. When I met you, I thought that maybe I could be happy for once, maybe even have a real friend. But you're just like everyone else."

"Bella..." I started, but she held up a hand to quiet me.

"Don't. Please, just forget I said anything," she said, her eyes welling up with more tears.

"Bella, what is it? What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired of being alone. When we met, I just thought... never mind. I'm so stupid."

She turned on her heel and walked away from me, this time in the correct direction at least.

I was angry with myself then, even more so than before. I never realized just how deeply I could hurt her by pushing her away. I never imagined that she might feel this same connection, this electricity between us. I knew she felt it too, though. I could see it in her eyes.

I chased after her, reaching for her arm, stopping her in her tracks. She looked at me startled, and I brushed the remaining tears from her cheeks. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm tired of trying to stay away from you," I whispered.

"Then don't," she sniffled, her doe eyes searching mine.

I knew I couldn't live without her, in this existence or any other. I was a fool for even trying. Without another word, I leaned into her, letting my lips brush against hers. She responded eagerly, her mouth immediately molding to mine, our lips dancing in tandem. She opened her mouth slightly, and I let my tongue caress hers greedily. She moaned softly, and I wrapped my arms around her tightly as we finally broke for air.

I didn't care then if I had to follow her around, steering her clear from any sign of danger. Bella Swan was mine, and I could no longer live without her in my life. I would do anything and everything to keep her safe and in my arms.

* * *

A/N- I really hope this chapter came out okay- my computer crashed yesterday and I lost the entire story, so I had to recreate it from memory on my laptop. I hope it came out as good as the first draft.

Please review, and I'll see you next Thursday!


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11**

"Wow," Bella breathed. I moved to capture her completely in my arms. She was nestled against my chest, my chin upon the crown of her head. I breathed her in, all strawberries and freesia.

There was no going back now. I was a fool, deluding myself into thinking I could stay away from her, that I could exist without her. Without her, my existence was meaningless. Having her near me was as vital as oxygen, for without her I could not live, only float along mindlessly in a colorless world. The loss of her had consumed me for years, controlling my every thought and action, and now that she was here I was never letting her go.

I was never going to give up.

"I'm sorry," I murmured into her hair. "For being such an asshole."

She pulled back from me, peering up at me with her big brown eyes. "Why would you say such hurtful things?" she asked innocently.

"Because I was scared." I didn't tell her why I was scared exactly. I didn't think she would believe the truth, that my interfering in her life had once caused her an agonizing end.

"And now?"

"Happy," I whispered, leaning in and brushing my lips across hers once more. Bella blushed bright red, and I ran my fingers across her face. "What is it?"

"Nothing," she said shyly. "I just... well that was my first kiss."

"Mine too," I assured her, and watched as she relaxed visibly.

"You've never had a girlfriend?"

"Never."

She looked confused. "But why? You're so hot." Her hand clamped over her mouth, and she flushed even more red now. "Sorry, I need to get my filter checked."

"What filter?"

"The filter that screens the ridiculous things that come out of my mouth sometimes."

I smiled down at her. "I think your filter is just fine. You can call me hot any time you like, even if it is a load of crap. Trust me, you're way out of my league."

Bella frowned and took an involuntary step back. "Please, don't lie to me. I know what I am. I wasn't surprised when you started ignoring me. Everyone else does."

My gaze softened as I stared at her, and once again, she looked like she might cry. Things had been going so well, and now she was acting an emotional wreck.

"Bella, why are you talking like that? Do you see yourself clearly at all?"

"Look, I don't' want to talk about it, not now. I should probably go. My friends are going to be worried."

"Can I drive you, at least?"

"I'd prefer to walk. I just want to be alone for a while, okay?"

"Can I call you?" I asked desperately, my stomach in knots. She was walking away from me, and I couldn't stand it. "Or see you sometime?"

She stopped in her tracks, and her shoulders seemed to tense a bit. "Yeah, um... a bunch of us are going to the beach tomorrow. You should come."

"Which beach?"

"First beach, down at La Push. Around noon?"

"I'll be there," I promised her. She hunched her shoulders again and started walking quickly away. I waited a few seconds then followed at a safe distance, to make sure she arrived back with her friends safely. It didn't feel stalkerish, because I knew what kind of people were trolling the streets tonight.

I didn't understand what caused the sudden change in her mood, but I was worried about her. Was it only because I said she was out of my league? That was just pure fact, and if she didn't realize that, then she truly didn't see herself clearly. But why would she walk away from me? The kiss we shared was nothing short of magical, and now she acted as if nothing happened.

I vowed to get to the bottom of the mystery that was Bella, tomorrow, at First Beach.

~~C.O.T.~~

I pulled my Volvo to a stop in the gravel lot near First Beach, and immediately set to look for Bella. The weather was beautiful, in the high-fifties, and the sun was shining, a rarity for the Olympic Penninsula. It was a perfect day for relaxing at the beach, even if it was too cold to swim.

I found Bella quickly, sitting alone in a bed of pebbles, absently picking them up one at a time and examining them, before throwing them out towards the shoreline. Her friends were scattered around her, all coupled off: Lauren and Tyler, Jessica and Mike, Austin and Katie, and Angela and Ben. She looked so alone, and I mentally kicked myself for not thinking to arrive sooner.

"Hello, Bella," I greeted, smiling down at her.

She looked down at her lap nervously. "Hi, Edward. I didn't think you were coming. I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me again, after yesterday."

"Of course I do. I was worried about you. I thought things were going okay, then you took off on me."

"I guess we're both a little screwed up, huh?" she asked, looking at me pointedly. I was more than chagrined at my behavior towards her over the last week, but it seems as if I was forgiven.

I held my hand out to her, and she took it. I pulled her up. "Yeah, I guess we are," I agreed with a smile and a kiss to her forehead. "Come on, I want to show you something."

We walked hand and hand past a few piles of driftwood and into the tide pool area. She gazed in wonder at the sight before her. "Tide pools! I remember these from when I was little. My dad used to take Emmett and me here to play." A sense of serenity overtook her face, and I smiled.

"Happy memories?"

"Yeah, we used to always come here in the summers when we were little." She gazed down into the tide pool, but leaned over a little too much for my comfort. I quickly wrapped my hands around her slim waist to keep her from falling. She tensed for a second before relaxing and taking in the sight.

It was beautiful, full of starfish and anemones in every color of the rainbow. The sun was shining just right, so that the pool of bright greens, pinks, blues and yellows was practically sparkling.

"Wow, I wish I had a camera," she mused.

I quickly shifted so that I was holding her steady with my left arm and pulled my phone out of my right pocket and snapped a quick picture. "I'll print it out for you."

"Thanks," she said, smiling widely. "Wow, this is so beautiful. Thanks for taking me here."'

She gazed down for a few minutes, then stepped down from the rock she was perched on, teetering a little on the slick surface. I still had my phone in my hand.

"Can I get a picture of you too?"

She frowned at me and crossed her arms over he stomach defensively. "Why would you want a picture of me?"

"I just wanted a picture, that's all."

"Why?" she asked again.

"Because you're beautiful," I answered, as honestly as I could.

She shook her head. "No, I'm not."

"You _are_ Bella. I don't understand how you can't see that."

She shrugged and turned away from me, walking back towards the shore. I wasn't about to let her walk away from me again.

"Bella!" I called after her. She pretended not to hear me. I gritted my teeth in frustration. I couldn't understand these mood swings of hers. What had I said that upset her so much?

When she reached the shore, she stopped, letting the gentle spray of the ocean spray coat her sneakers. I put my hand on her shoulder, but she shied away from me immediately. "Just leave me alone," she huffed.

"No," I said firmly. "Please talk to me."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I like you." Hell, I loved her. That was a fact that I'd been certain of for years, not that I could tell her as much. "Please... what's got you so upset?"

She sighed and flopped down on a nearby piece of driftwood. I knelt in front of her, my eyes searching hers for information.

"Look, I'm just not used to this, okay?" she said finally.

"Used to what?"

"Guys liking me. Calling me beautiful. I know it's a lie, and it's mean, so please stop."

"No, I won't stop."

"Why?"

"Because you _are _beautiful. And I _do _like you. Bella, why are you so down on yourself? Please talk to me."

She started chewing on her lower lip, so hard I was afraid she'd hurt herself. My fingers itched to pull her lip from her teeth, but I restrained myself, allowing her to gather the words needed to speak to me.

"You'll think it's stupid."

"That's not even possible."

"I know Emmett told everyone that we moved here because our stepfather got a job playing baseball on the road, and that our mother wanted to travel with him. That isn't the whole truth."

"Then what is?"

She took a shuddering breath, as if trying to gain the courage to speak. "I never really fit in in Phoenix," she said despondently. "Everyone there was blonde and tanned, and then there was me, the skinny, mousey, pale, brown-haired girl. Everyone picked on me. Emmett was popular, and he tried to include me in things, but he couldn't protect me from everything.

"At first it was just innocent fun for them. They'd call me names, laugh at me, trip me in the hallways sometimes, but that was the extent of it. I got used to it. I was happy enough just keeping to myself and trying to blend into the background. I was just drifting along, waiting for high school to be over. But everything changed right after winter break."

She was no longer looking at me, but staring out at ocean. "Please go on," I urged her. Her story was sounding so familiar. Such was my life here too. I knew the pain of bullying well. I was afraid to hear the rest of her story though, because from the look on her face, things were a lot worse for her.

"There was this guy, Riley," she explained, frowning. "As soon as we came back from winter break, he started paying all kinds of attention to me. He started walking me to class and coming to the library where I usually ate my lunch. I guess I thought he was nice enough, and he was good-looking too. Hell, he was the first guy to ever pay any attention to me. I guess that I was so flattered, that it blinded me from who he really was."

"What did he do to you?" I growled.

"He was a junior, like me. Everyone looked up to Emmett, and everyone wanted to be his friend. Riley thought that if he was nice to me and pretended to like me, that he could get in Emmett's good graces. You know, the 'popular' crowd," she said with a roll of her eyes, using her fingers to make air quotes. "Anyway, Emmett didn't like him from the start. He told me to stay away from him, and then we had a big fight about it. I should have listened to him.

"One day, he was driving me home from a movie and he pulled back into a vacant lot and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away. He got mad and pushed me back. He said he was only going out with me to do me a favor. He called me a charity case. He said if I didn't have sex with him, then I was stupid, because it was the only way for me to be popular. As if I even wanted that." A tear slipped down her eye, and I brushed it away quickly.

"Then what happened?" I asked as softly as I could, though I was starting to see red. If he so much as touched her, I would be on the first flight out to Phoenix.

"Nothing. I told him to drive me home. Instead he pushed me out of the car and drove off. I didn't have a cell phone, and it was already pretty late, so I had to walk home three miles in the dark.

"Phil, my stepfather, and Emmett were furious when I came back in tears. They were already frantic with worry, because by the time I got home I was an hour past curfew. When they demanded to know where I was, I just broke down and cried. It was mortifying, to be left on the side of the road like that. I was ashamed to even tell them what happened, but I did.

"The next Monday at school, people were whispering about me. Apparently, he told them all that we had done it, and that I was a lousy lay. Girls were glaring at me, saying awful things. It got so bad that I went to the nurse and hid for the rest of the day. After school, Emmett kicked Riley's ass... bad. He got himself expelled, which made me feel even worse. He says he doesn't regret it, but I know he misses his friends. Anyway, that's why we're really here. Phil traveling was just a convenient excuse; both my parents thought we could use a change of scenery."

What she had just shared with me was appalling. Her aversion to being called beautiful made perfect sense now. The first boy she ever had a relationship with broke her heart and humiliated her.

Emmett never shared any of this with me, not even after her death. Not that I blamed him, of course. Having gone through all of that with her back in Phoenix, only to move to Forks and lose her a few days later must have been unbearable. I couldn't imagine the pain he must have been in, though he hid it so well.

No, I definitely understood why Emmett never told me this, but I was so glad that Bella did. It was surprising of course, that she opened up to me so quickly. I could only reason that she too felt this strange pull between us, and she implicitly trusted me, as I did her. I was so grateful for this, because now that I knew what she suffered in the past, I could start to help her heal from it.

When she was finished telling her story she was sobbing quietly, and I pulled her into my arms, rocking her gently until she quieted. When her sniffling stopped, I told her, "You didn't deserve any of that. I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"Don't you get it now?" she asked. "I don't fit in anywhere. I'm not beautiful. You shouldn't waste your time on someone like me. I'm not good for you."

"Bella, I'm so sorry that asshole ruined your self image. You're wrong, and I'm not like Riley. Remember yesterday, when you told me you thought I was different? I promise that I am. I was only distant from you because I was afraid, for reasons I can't even completely explain. But that's done with now, and all I want is you. Please give me a chance."

"What are you saying?"

"I think we could be so good together. I guess... what I'm asking is if you'll be my girlfriend. I promise you; I won't hurt you ever again."

She was staring at me wide-eyed, her expression unreadable. A small smile crept up on her lips, and she leaned in to hesitantly kiss me. When she released me, she left a blazing sensation on my lips, and I instantly craved more.

"Is that a yes?" I asked hopefully.

"I'd like to try. I really do think you could be different. Just... please don't hurt me."

"Never," I vowed, only hoping that I could keep that promise. I noticed her shiver slightly, and I put my arm around her and pulled her close to me. She relaxed immediately into the crook of my arms, and the serene smile was now back in place as she stared once again out over the Pacific.

"Bella? Oh my God, I heard you were back in town!" The boy's voice that interrupted our quiet reverie was most unwelcome. I frowned at Bella's following squeal of delight.

"Jake?" she asked excitedly, pulling herself from my hold on her. She didn't hesitate to run into his outstretched arms. "Oh my goodness, look at you! You're all grown up."

The boy she called Jake appeared to one of the members of the local Quileute tribe, judging from his long, shiny black hair and russet colored skin. He had sharp, strong features. He was taller than me, and showing off his muscles by wearing a black tee-shirt that was at least a size too small. Worst of all, his smile was nothing short of dazzling, as it apparently drew Bella right in.

I cleared my throat in aggravation.

"Oh, Edward, I'm sorry. This is Jacob. We used to make mud pies together when we were little. He and my dad are best friends."

I was only a little disheartened that she didn't introduce me as her boyfriend, but I tried to reason that I only had been for a few minutes.

"You should have told me you were coming," Jacob told her. "I would have called in the cavalry. Embry and Quil are here though." He gave me a sideways glance and narrowed his eyes, as if sizing me up. I obviously didn't seem like much to worry about, as he gave me a quick smirk before turning his attention completely back to Bella.

Yeah, he wanted her. And between the two of us, I probably wouldn't stand a chance. My heart sunk.

"Quil and Embry are here? Where?" she asked excitedly, looking around.

"They're up at the cliffs. We're going cliff diving. Wanna' watch?"

"Cliff diving? That sounds dangerous."

"Not if you know what you're doing. Come on, I'll take you up there."

Bella looked at me, quirking her head in question. I shrugged and said, "Let's go."

I caught a scowl from Jacob that Bella didn't see. He obviously wanted Bella to go with him alone, but I wasn't going to let that happen. Even if I had no faith that I could win in a contest for her heart, it didn't mean I wasn't going to try. I wouldn't be shoved aside without a fight.

In a brave and admittedly possessive move, I reached for Bella's hand as we started to walk up the path that would lead us to the cliffs. To my delight, she took my hand eagerly, threading her fingers between mine.

I tried not to smirk back at Jacob, but I couldn't help myself. Fortunately for me, Bella didn't seem to notice.

We were greeted by two more dark-skinned boys at the top of the cliff. They were shorter and leaner than Jacob, but had the same attractive, sharp Native American features. Bella squealed when they came into sight, and immediately ran to them.

"Quil! Embry!" she said excitedly, giving each a hug. "How are you guys?"

"Good, Bells. Missed you," the one she called Quil said.

"This is my boyfriend Edward," she explained, motioning to me. I couldn't hide the wide smile that crossed my face as Jacob blanched. It felt so good to hear that word out loud.

"Nice to meet you," Embry said with a polite nod. "You guys wanna jump with us."

"I think we'll pass," Bella said with a laugh, and I was glad we were on the same page about it. The whole idea seemed incredibly dangerous, not to mention it was only slightly less than sixty degrees outside, not exactly swimming weather.

"Suit yourself," Jacob said boldly, a scowl on his face. Embry and Quil looked at each other, and after some silent communication, both launched themselves at Jacob. They all play fought for a few minutes, pretending to punch each other, then Quil and Embry each grabbed one of Jacob's arms and launched him over the side of the cliff.

While I was rolling my eyes at their childish display, I didn't realize that Bella didn't know they were pretending. Suddenly, she was off like a dart, towards the side of the cliff, way too close to the edge for my comfort. The rocks where she was standing looked shiny with that morning's rain, and there's no way she was safe where she was.

"Jacob!" she screamed down the side of the cliff. "What did you do to him?" she demanded, whipping around to face Quil and Embry.

"Bella, relax, we were just playing," Embry assured her. Bella huffed and stared at them in disbelief, then stared down into the water again, looking for a sign of Jake.

"I don't see him!" she cried.

"Bella, I'm sure he's fine, we can walk down the cliff and pick him up," I told her. "Please step back from there, before you fall."

She ignored me and yelled again, "Jacob!"

A sharp gust of wind was all it took. One minute, Bella was standing on the rocks of the cliffs staring down in search of her friend, the next she was free-falling quickly to the rolling waters below.

"Bella!" I screamed in agony, watching as she fell awkwardly, back first. It all happened so fast. Without hesitation, I immediately jumped in after her, taking a much better angle than she, and landed feet first in the water.

Water filled my mouth, and I coughed as I surfaced, looking around for her. "Bella!" I screamed, my voice rough from the salt that had invaded my mouth. "Bella!"

I was barely aware of Jacob in the water near me, also engrossed in a frantic search for her. Finally, he spotted her before I did. "Over there!" he called, pointing.

She was about twenty feet away from us, her jacket snagged on a sharp rock. She was face down in the water.

As I started paddling hard towards her, I could tell she wasn't moving.

* * *

A/N- Before you all flame my inbox, I promise she's not dead this time! Please let me know what you thought, and I'll see you next Thursday!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12

_She was about twenty feet away from us, her jacket snagged on a sharp rock. She was face down in the water._

_As I started paddling hard towards her, I could tell she wasn't moving._

I was never a skilled swimmer. My movements in the water were choppy, and I struggled with the waves as I tried to reach Bella. My glasses, while thankfully still on, were dripping with saltwater and obscuring my vision. As I paddled against the current, I felt completely helpless. I was taking too long to get to her.

Even though it was an affront to my manhood, I was grateful as Jacob swam gracefully by me, clearly comfortable in the water. He reached Bella quickly, unsnagged her jacket from the rock, and was pulling her back towards the shore. I changed direction and allowed the waves to carry me in towards the pebbled sand. When I finally landed, my lungs and throat burning with the sting of salt water. I stumbled towards them, trying to shake the water from my glasses so I could see. Out of breath, I collapsed in a heap beside them, where Jacob was already performing CPR.

I watched as he gave her rescue breaths, her chest rising and falling as he forcefully pushed air into her lungs. My heart was beating erratically as I watched, exhausted and helpless. I had never learned CPR. There was nothing I could do but sit and wait as Jacob tried to save her.

A crowd was beginning to gather, as the group from the beach arrived to investigate the commotion. Quil and Embry had rushed down from the cliffs, and were just arriving as Bella finally, mercifully, began to cough and sputter violently. Jacob helped her sit up and started to rub her back gently as she continued to cough.

Though Jacob seemed to have it under control, I needed to be near her. I dropped to my knees in the sand next to them. Jacob and I each had an arm around her then, and after a silent communication, we helped her to sit up.

As soon as she was nearly in sitting position, Bella let out an agonized wail. Fearing she was in pain, I lowered her back to the ground. "What is it, sweetheart? Are you in pain?"

"Edward," she whimpered, her wide brown eyes terrified. "I can't feel my legs."

~~C.O.T.~~

Despite my pleas, they wouldn't let anyone ride in the ambulance with her. I gritted my teeth at Jacob's pleading look as I rushed to my car, and silently nodded my head towards the passenger side. He did save her life, after all. The least I could do was give him a ride.

But now I was alone in the waiting room, and I'd been there for hours. _"I'm sorry. You're not family,"_ everyone kept telling me every time I asked for an update on her condition. It didn't even matter that my father was back there with her. Even Jacob got to go back to see her, as he was escorted by Charlie and Emmett, neither of whom would even spare me a glance. I might as well have been a ghost, sitting and waiting for somebody to tell me something, anything.

But the waiting gave me time to really contemplate the situation. I had been idly fingering the panic switch in my pocket, as I had been since arriving at the hospital. As tempting as it was to push it and start over, I kept telling myself to wait. I didn't know a thing about her condition, and if she was alive there was no way I would go back without her permission. I just had to wait it out.

_It's not fucking fair,_ I thought grimly. _Why her?_ Why was fate, if there even was such a thing, constantly interfering with her life? What was it about this girl that made her have a constant target on her back? She was a certifiable danger magnet. Anything that could go wrong in her life did.

Was there a lesson in all of this? Maybe it was God's cruel way of telling me to stop interfering. Was he fucking with me? I wasn't even sure if I believed in a God anymore, or if I ever even did.

If there was a God, why would he want to take Bella? My innocent, perfect, Bella. Why would he aim to destroy her family? Charlie and Emmett were good people.

He could take me instead. If he were to appear before me now, and offer a trade, I would take it in a heartbeat if only she could live a full, happy life.

But that could never happen, because I was now more sure than ever that he didn't - couldn't - exist. There was too much injustice in the world.

I kept hearing her voice, over and over again in my mind.

"_Edward, I can't feel my legs."_

Was that kind of thing usually permanent? Medicine was never really my forte, I was more of a physical sciences guy. I needed to talk to my father. Badly.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?" Emmett's trademark growl caused me to snap to attention.

"Emmett," I greeted, my voice carrying an air of desperation. "How is she?"

"Why the hell do you care?"

"She's my girlfriend! Of course I care!" I snapped, without really considering my words.

He scoffed at me. "Girlfriend? When the hell did that happen? While you were waffling between ignoring her and making her cry? Sometime then?"

"At the beach," I whispered. "We talked."

Even I could tell how insignificant it sounded as the words left my mouth. Yes, she'd been my girlfriend for all of ten minutes before falling from the cliff. How could I explain to him that I'd loved her for years, that she was everything to me.

I realized that I couldn't as Emmett rolled his eyes. "You should leave."

"I'm not going anywhere," I said firmly. "Please, tell me how she is."

"Go fuck yourself," Emmett muttered, swiftly turning and walking back towards the intensive care unit, the place I longed to be.

~~C.O.T.~~

"Dad!" I called anxiously, as he finally emerged from the ICU, looking completely spent.

"Edward?" he asked, rubbing his eyes. "It's two in the morning. What are you doing here? Does your mother know you're here?"

I frowned. She did know I was here, and we'd argued about it at length. In the end, she let it go, only because I'd never openly defied her before. If only I could make them understand.

"She knows," I answered shortly. "How is she?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his graying hair. "Come on. I'm finished here. I'll take you home."

"How is she?" I asked again.

"Edward, you know I can't talk about that with you. Not unless her family gives me permission."

"Please," I begged, my voice dangerously close to cracking. "Tell me how she is."

"She's stable, Edward. That's all I can say."

~~C.O.T.~~

I never realized just how much independence I'd gained just by leaving for college. Back at school, even though I never got into any kind of trouble, I was free to make my own decisions. I didn't have to ask permission for anything. I just did what I wanted and went where I wanted. It was incredibly frustrating to have my parents constantly hanging over my shoulder, questioning my motives, and dictating my life. It wasn't fun being seventeen again. Not at all.

On the day after Bella's accident, I spent the entire day at the hospital. Charlie and Emmett went in and out of the doors of the ICU, and Bella's mother arrived. She didn't leave Bella's room much. I hardly even saw her after she flew through the doors of the unit like a whirlwind.

On Monday morning, I had a heated argument with my parents, who insisted that I go to school. I just didn't see the point in going, not while my Bella was laid up in a hospital room. I finally relented, if only to make the argument stop, but I left after second period and went over to the hospital again.

On Tuesday I skipped school all together, but after many hours I saw no sign of Emmett, Charlie, or Renee. I started to get concerned. I managed to flag down a friendly nurse who told me that they moved her to a regular floor, but that was all she could say. I took her move to a regular bed as a good sign and went home, vowing to come back and try again in the morning.

My mother gave me a disappointed stare when I walked into the house. "What?" I muttered, annoyed.

"Your school called. They said that you missed most of yesterday and all of today?"

"I was at the hospital."

"Edward, I don't understand what's gotten into you. I know you're upset about what happened to Bella, but obviously her family doesn't want you there. I don't know what you did to make Emmett dislike you, but you need to let her family have their time with her. Don't make things worse."

"I need to know that she's okay," I insisted harshly. "Nobody will fucking tell me anything!"

My mother's mouth dropped open and the wooden spoon she was holding clattered to the floor. I realized I'd never used that kind of language in front of her. It was a habit I picked up in college, I guess.

"Edward, you will not speak to me like that."

"I'm sorry," I said quickly, and I was. My mother was a good woman. She deserved respect. "I'm just really upset."

"I know that what happened to her was terrible, but I don't understand your obsession. You hardly knew the girl. Why is it so important to you to be there constantly?"

"Because I love her," I said.

"Edward, you're only seventeen. You just met the girl. You can't possibly love her yet."

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled it roughly in aggravation. "I can't help how I feel."

"You need to stop going to the hospital."

I growled under my breath. "What are you going to do, ground me?"

She stared at me wide-eyed. "Edward, you've never done anything in your life worthy of punishment, and I guess trying to visit a friend in the hospital isn't the worst thing you could do. Of course I'm not going to ground you. You can still go to the hospital, but you will also go to school. Am I clear?"

"Yes," I relented. I could make that concession if it meant less distress for my family.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were all the same. I went to school in the mornings, and spent all afternoon and evening in the waiting room of Bella's floor. I figured out where she was by following Emmett up from the cafeteria on Wednesday, but I didn't brave actually entering the unit. Every day I plead with him to tell me something, anything, but he never relented.

The whole family looked worn out and exhausted, and I burned to know what was going on behind the doors. I still kept replaying Bella's last words to me- _I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs. _Was it a permanent effect? Was she paralyzed forever? How would she react if she was?

On Saturday, exactly one week after Bella's accident, I was sitting in the waiting room in my same chair, when I saw Bella's mother walk in. She stopped in her tracks and looked over at me curiously, before changing direction and approaching me.

My first inclination was to be angry with her. I recalled the time, in another existence, when she berated Charlie for Bella's death and then demanded that Emmett be put back in her care. Fortunately for Charlie, Emmett was already a legal adult and refused to leave his father. After all, Renee had her husband, Phil. Charlie had nobody.

Of course, it was probably just Renee's intense grief that made her say such hateful things to Charlie. Still, I had been so angry with her at the time, for treating Charlie so badly.

Now, though, she stared at me curiously with very kind, tired eyes. "I've seen you here every day," she commented lightly. "Do you have a family member here?"

"Friend," I corrected her. I didn't want to tell her that Bella was 'officially' my girlfriend, because now I wasn't even sure, and I didn't know how she'd react when she found out who I really was.

"Why don't you visit?" she pressed. "Every time I've seen you, you've been sitting out in the waiting room."

"Her family won't let me. I've just been waiting, hoping that they'll change their minds and let me see her. I don't even know what room she's in or how she's doing."

Renee frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that. I'm Renee, by the way. My daughter had an accident. She's been here for a week now."

_I know, _my internal voice muttered bitterly. "I'm Edward."

Something flashed in her eyes, recognition maybe. Then her frown morphed into a tiny, conspiring smile. "Edward, huh? That's a nice name. Tell me, this friend you're visiting. You love her." It wasn't a question.

I wasn't sure how to respond. _Yes, of course I love her! _I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I had a sneaking suspicion that Renee figured out who I was. Had Bella mentioned me? That thought alone made butterflies in my stomach flutter. But maybe it was Emmett who mentioned me, telling her what a jerk I'd been.

"I haven't known her long," I answered vaguely.

Renee leaned back in her chair, her expression thoughtful. "Does that really matter?"

_My mother seems to think so. _"I suppose not."

"So tell me something, Edward. Why is it that her family isn't too fond of you?"

Figuring she already knew, I had no option but to tell her the truth. "I didn't know how to handle my feelings for her. I pushed her away. I was stupid. But we resolved things, before..."

Renee nodded in understanding, then rose to her feet, slinging her purse over her shoulder. "I bet her family will be reasonable in time. I need to get to my daughter. She has a very overprotective father and brother who have been here all evening, and are dying to get some rest. They'll probably be leaving just as soon as I arrive to sit with her."

"It was a pleasure to meet you," I told her, thanking her with my eyes.

"You too, Edward. Room 522, here I come," she laughed, parting with a wink and a smile.

I changed my mind. Renee was awesome.

~~C.O.T.~~

I waited an hour for Charlie and Emmett to leave. Emmett glared at me as he walked past, as he usually did, and I gave him a tight-lipped nod. Charlie studiously ignored me, as was his custom. I waited until they were fully out of sight before stepping into the corridor that would lead me to her room.

The nurses and other staff were bustling around, and my presence seemed to go unnoticed. I wasn't sure if I was officially on Bella's 'banned visitors' list, but I didn't want to take any chances. I found her room near the back of the corridor, and found it ajar. I took a deep breath before I knocked, and was granted entrance by Renee's sing-song voice. "Come on in!"

I stuck my head in the door and my breath caught in my throat. Bella sat straight up, an untouched tray of food in front of her. She stared out the window nearby, not even acknowledging that she had a visitor.

"Oh, Bella. This is the nice young man I was telling you about, the one I met in the waiting room. What a nice surprise!" she winked at me again, and I smiled at her shyly. "Well, Bella, you may continue to refuse to eat, but I'm absolutely famished, so I'm going to sneak away to the cafeteria. I'll be back in a little while."

Bella continued to stare out the window, and Renee smoothed the hair on her head and kissed her forehead quickly. "I love you, Bella. I'll be back soon."

Again, there was no response. Renee frowned and bit her lower lip, just like Bella tended to do, and then sighed and left. I approached the chair where Renee had been sitting previously and sat on the edge of it, so that I could see Bella better.

"You're mom's a pretty cool lady," I told her, hoping to break her silence.

"She is," Bella said with a scratchy voice, her gaze never wavering from the window. "What are you doing here, Edward?"

"I came to see you, of course. I was worried."

"It's been a week. I figured you didn't want to see me."

My mouth dropped open in horror. It never once occurred to me that Charlie and Emmett never told her I was even here. While I didn't want to say anything to make her made with her father or brother, I couldn't let the truth go unspoken. "Bella, I've been here everyday," I whispered.

She turned her head and looked at me finally, her eyes watering. "You were here?"

"Every day," I assured her, grabbing her hand and rubbing my thumb over her knuckles. "Every single day."

A tear slipped from her eye. "Emmett," she muttered. "He hates you."

"He should," I told her. "I hurt his baby sister. How are you doing Bella? Nobody would tell me anything. They didn't want me to see you. I understand, though. I hope you aren't angry with them. They were trying to protect you."

"I know," she sighed. "You don't have to be here, though. I understand."

"Of course I want to be here. Why would you say such a thing?"

"You really don't know?"

"Bella, I don't know anything. What is it?"

"Edward, I'm paralyzed. The rocks... they completely severed my spine. I'll never walk again. Your father called in three separate neurosurgeons who all told me the same thing."

I squeezed her hand. It was as bad as I feared. "I'm so sorry, love," I told her. "But I'm here, and you're not going to go through this alone."

"I don't understand. I was your girlfriend for all of? ten minutes before I went and stupidly fell off a cliff. How could you want anything to do with me I'm going to be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. Who would want me now?"

"Bella, how can you even say that? Of course I still want you. You mean so much to me, more than I can even say."

Bella scoffed. "Until the novelty of our new relationship wears off and you get tired of pushing around my damn wheelchair all day. I can't move or feel anything below my waist. What kind of real relationship can we have? Even if I worked to be as independent as possible, people will still have to take care of me. I'll just be a burden to everyone forever. You won't stick around. Why should you?" she asked bitterly.

"It hurts me that you think so little of me," I admitted honestly. "I wouldn't leave you. You'd never be a burden, not to me."

"We've known each other less than three weeks. I hardly know anything about you, or you about me. Now isn't exactly the ideal time to be diving headfirst into something. It won't be worth it in the end. Just leave."

"No. I will not leave. I know that this must be an incredible shock to you, but you... we... will get past this."

"I'm being discharged tomorrow," she muttered.

"That's good news, isn't it?"

"To a fucking Nursing Home. The rehab unit of the only Nursing Home in Forks. I'm seventeen years old, Edward. My parents can't even take me home."

"But it's only temporary," I insisted. "This will pass too. I'll come there. I'll visit you everyday."

"Edward, just stop!" she yelled. "I don't want you to come."

"You... don't want me?" I asked, choking on the words.

"No."

I nearly broke down then and there, but I didn't want her to see me cry. To see her in so much pain, it was too much to bear.

I knew I was right, that this would pass too, and that someday Bella would come to terms with her paralysis. But right now, for a scared seventeen-year-old girl, I could only imagine how hopeless she must have felt. My stomach clenched and I fought back the sting of tears as I internalized her pain, her suffering. I couldn't take it.

As I put my hand on the doorknob of her room, I turned to face her once more.

"Can I ask one thing?" I asked quietly.

"Sure," she muttered back.

"If someone could - hypothetically - turn back the clock, and keep you from going to the cliffs, would you go back? Would you change it?"

"Are you kidding?" she asked. "In a heartbeat." There was no trace of doubt in her voice.

"I love you, Bella," I told her, with all the emotion I had. "I mean that."

The last thing I saw before I hit the switch was a look of utter disbelief. Then the familiar tingling pain took over, and I was barreling forward in time.

* * *

A/N- Please review. I'll resort to begging if I have to!


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N- This chapter brought to you a day early by my upcoming hectic work schedule. Happy Independence Day to my fellow Americans, and happy Wednesday to everyone else :)**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

Slightly disoriented, I opened my eyes to find myself once again in Aro's underground laboratory. As my vision cleared and the tingling pain in my limbs subsided, I expected another dry, sarcastic quip from Aro. Instead, he was peering at me with a deep frown on his face. Gone was the amused light in his eyes, and in it's place something darker.

"What happened?" he asked cautiously, offering a hand to help me out of the chair. Refusing his aid, I instead reached behind me for the electrodes I would need to run me back in time again, this time to the cliffs. Once I found the leads, I started frantically attaching them to my head in the places Aro had previously.

"Take me back," I said, my tone biting.

He grabbed the leads by the base and yanked them off roughly, taking stray hairs with them and causing me to yelp in surprise. "Stop it!" he demanded.

"Take me back!"

With surprising strength for a man of modest stature, he grabbed hold of my shirt collar and yanked me roughly out of the chair. I fell to the ground in a heap and glared up at him.

"Until you can act like a fucking adult and discuss this rationally with me, I refuse to send you back. This isn't a fucking joke, Edward. Sending you back in time in this state could have utterly catastrophic results, and I won't be party to that."

I blanched; I'd never heard him use such coarse language. The hard glare he was giving me dissolved all the fight in me, as if I was a child being chastised. "Please?" I whispered. "For her?"

"Go home and think things through carefully. Don't come back until you're ready."

Dejected, I picked myself up off the floor and stumbled out of the lab, my limbs still feeling like jelly. It seemed to take forever to walk across campus to my dorm. When I arrived, I hesitated with my key in the lock. I dreaded the uncertainty of what could be behind the door, as I recalled the embarrassment of finding Jasper in bed with Maria, and me cursing him for cheating on Alice, a woman he'd never even met.

I took a few deep breaths that did little to calm me, as I tried to recall my missing memories. The last thing I could remember with any clarity was walking out of Bella's hospital room, telling her I loved her, and hitting the panic switch. Everything else was a complete blank. I knew that there was a part of me in that universe that continued on with life as if everything were normal, but I couldn't recall a thing.

Knowing that standing in the hallway of my dorm indefinitely wasn't an option, I turned the key, half-expecting it to not work in the door. I wasn't even sure if I lived there anymore. Fortunately, the key made a satisfying click as it opened the lock. With a sigh of relief, I opened the door.

My relief was short-lived, however, when the first thing I saw was Jasper's bare ass once again. I couldn't see the girl he was with. As I cursed the fact that I _still _hadn't learned that knocking was a good idea, I heard a familiar voice shriek, and Alice's spiky black head popped up. She was staring at me in horror.

"Alice!" I exclaimed jubilantly. "You're here!" Were she not completely naked, I would have hugged her there and then.

"Um... yeah," she said uncomfortably, covering her bare chest with her hands. Jasper gave me an annoyed glance before handing her one of his tee-shirts.

"Could you give us a minute?" Jasper asked, narrowing his eyes at me as Alice slipped on his shirt.

"Sure," I said, smiling, turning around. There was silence for a second, then I heard some shuffling around. Maybe they expected me to leave, but I was too happy to care.

"Okay, Edward, what the hell has gotten in to you?" Alice asked.

I turned around, and once affirming that she was fully clothed, I assaulted her with a hug, which was very uncharacteristic of me. "I'm just so glad to see you."

"Edward, I was here when you left this morning. Are you okay?"

I frowned, feeling completely lost without any recollection of the last four years, or at least, not the last four of this timeline. "I'm fine, I guess," I muttered. "I just had a weird past few days."

She smiled sadly at me, and asked gently, "Is it because of Bella?"

"Bella?" I asked, confused. "She's here?"

"She arrived last week?" Alice said slowly, and I realized this was information I should have known. "When the semester started?"

"Bella..." I murmured. I needed to see her. I needed to know how she was. "Where is she? I need to find her."

"Edward... no," Alice said sternly. "Seriously, did you learn nothing the last time Emmett kicked your ass?"

"Huh?" I asked, confused. _Emmett kicked my ass?_ Suddenly, white lights flashed behind my eyelids and I was overcome with a headache so sharp that the pain brought me to my knees.

"Edward?" Jasper asked in a panicked voice. I could hear Jasper and Alice speaking at me frantically, but their voices started to fade as the memories ambushed me.

* * *

_It was two weeks after Bella was transferred to the rehab facility. I went every afternoon after school, but she refused to see me. The rehab center was different from the hospital. I couldn't just waltz in there and go up to her room. The receptionist always called her to see if she was up for visitors. I watched for days as Charlie, Renee, and Emmett were invited up, but nobody else._

_When I saw Renee on occasion, she would give me a sad smile and a shrug, silently communicating that she understood why I was there, but there was nothing she could do about Bella's refusal to see me. Charlie continued to ignore my existence, but Emmett's growing frustration was evident on his face every time I saw him. By the end of the second week, his gaze was downright lethal. _

_Everything came to a head on a Saturday afternoon. I was feeling thoroughly depressed after once again being rejected by Bella, so I took off in my Volvo and drove aimlessly around town. I spaced out for a while, and eventually my car seemed to steer itself right towards Bella's house. When I got there, I couldn't even remember consciously meaning to drive to her house, but before I knew it I was sitting right outside of it. _

_Emmett was outside at the time, surrounded by two-by-fours. I got out of the car when it looked like he was piecing together a ramp for the front stairs. Jacob Black was also nearby, looking at something near the front door. "You look like you could use a hand," I'd bravely called out to them. The idea of working on a project for Bella that I might actually be able to help with made my heart swell. I just wanted to do _something _for her_.

"_What would you know about putting together a ramp?" Emmett asked with a condescending tone. _

_Feeling overly helpful, I offered, "Well, I can tell you that the angle you're building that is going to be too steep for a wheelchair, if you look at the physics. If you'd like, I could take some measurements and do some quick calculations, then we could..."_

_I didn't get to finish my statement before I felt a sharp pain on my jaw, and I was flying towards the ground. I hit the grass with a thud, and looked up to see Emmett glaring down at me._

"_What the hell was that?" I asked him, placing my hand over my throbbing jaw._

"_Because you piss me off. What the fuck are you doing in front of my house anyway?"_

"_I was just driving around and happened to see you. I thought I could help."_

"_Bullshit. This house isn't on the way to anywhere."_

_The man made a point. _

"_I just wanted to help," I said again quietly._

"_Yeah, you could help by getting the fuck out of my face," he growled, moving towards the structure, grabbing a measuring tape. At least he appeared to be taking my advice about the angle._

_My jaw still throbbing as I stared at him in bewilderment. I was angry at him for keeping me from Bella when she was at the hospital, and I didn't understand his poor treatment of me. What had I done that was so wrong? I knew I was an ass to her at first, but I thought I had at least made amends for that. Emmett didn't have to like me, but I couldn't understand why he hated me so much. I needed to know._

"_Emmett, what did I ever to do you? Why do you hate me so much?" I demanded, as I rose back to my feet._

"_Because you hover like a mosquito, and you have no business being here. Bella's got enough shit to deal with without you hanging around with your emo bullshit and your sad face. Seriously, you need to get a grip and grow the hell up. I mean, what the hell were you guys even doing up on the cliffs anyway?" he asked the last question so quietly I wasn't even sure it was meant for me. I watched as Jacob blanched behind him._

"_That's it, isn't it?" I asked, realization dawning on me. "You think this was my fault? Because I was up there with her?"_

"_It is your fault!" he shouted. "She should have been down on the beach, with her friends, where she was safe."_

_My anger increased exponentially. Despite trying to understand what a shock it must have been for him to realize his sister would be wheelchair bound for the rest of her life, he had no right to say such things. As quick as I was to self-loathe, for once I felt like this wasn't my fault._

_I stared at Jacob, who was still standing quietly a few feet behind Emmett, looking at the ground. "If you're looking for someone to blame, why don't you look right behind you at Jacob fucking Black!" I yelled. "It was his stupid idea to go cliff diving in the first place."_

"_Shut the fuck up," Emmett growled, clenching his fists and taking a step towards me. _

_I didn't back down. All logical reasoning told me to stop provoking him, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. "I really care about Bella," I told him. "As much as you may not like it, I'm not going away."_

_Before I knew it, I was back on the ground, his fist connecting over and over again with my face until my vision became hazy and I began to see black spots. I was taken so off guard, I didn't even try to fight back. There was no point._

"_Stop it!" I heard Jacob shout frantically, very close by. I could see him trying to pull Emmett off me, but even with his large size, his strength was nothing on Emmett's enraged form. "You're going to kill him!"_

_I heard a car pull up, and the last thing I heard before I blacked out was Charlie's voice barking, "Enough!"_

* * *

_I woke up in the Emergency Department some time later, and my father was standing over me. "Dad?" I mumbled, my jaw protesting as it moved._

"_Don't try to talk right now, Edward. Your jaw is broken. They're going to take you in to surgery in a little while."_

_I groaned and tried to speak again, but it hurt too much to move my lips. I motioned with my hands for a pen and paper. He shuffled around for a minute before placing the requested items in my hand._

You operate on me. _ I wrote, my handwriting barely legible._

"_I'm sorry, Edward, but this isn't my area of expertise. Not only would it be a conflict of interest, but I wouldn't feel confident enough in my skills to do it. They're flying in a facial reconstruction expert from Seattle."_

_My eyes widened as my hand wrote frantically, _Reconstruction?

"_That boy really did a number on you, I'm afraid. When you're feeling better, you can tell me all about it."_

_I groaned and leaned back against the pillows._

"_You need some more pain medication?"_

_I nodded, and he called in a nurse. After he asked her to bring my medication, she disappeared quickly._

_After a few minutes of silence, with my dad sitting in a chair quietly next to my bed, Charlie stuck his head in the curtain. "Dr. Cullen," he greeted stiffly, not looking at me._

"_Chief Swan," my father answered back, equally as stiff._

"_I, uh... as much as it pains me to do this, I need to take a statement about what happened. I already talked to my son and Jacob Black."_

"_Your statement can wait until he's out of surgery," my father barked._

_Charlie frowned and shuffled his feet uncomfortably. I could imagine this must be very awkward for him. "I at least need to know if you're going to press charges," he said very quietly, looking directly at me. He looked tired and pained, and I immediately took pity on him. He had been through entirely too much over the last few weeks._

"_Of course we're going to press charges!" My father was clearly taking this a lot harder than I was._

_Charlie's face fell even more. "I understand. I'll take care of that immediately."_

_I tried to open my mouth in protest, but it wouldn't move. Frustrated, I banged my fist against my tray table as hard as I could, trying to get his attention. He turned around startled, and I held a finger in the air, silently asking him to wait._

No charges!_ I wrote on the paper, and waved it in front of my father._

"_Edward, you can't be serious," he exclaimed. "Look what his son did to your face."_

_I glared at him and pointed at the words again, narrowing my eyes to get my point across._

"_Fine," he muttered. "We're not going to press charges for now, but we _will_ talk about it when he's healed."_

"_Thank you," Charlie said, looking straight at me. I could see in his eyes that he meant it. "Carlisle... may I have a quick word with your son?"_

"_Over my dead body."_

_I looked again at my father and motioned with my head for him to leave, pleading with my eyes. I wanted to hear whatever he had to say._

_My father threw his hands up in frustration before storming out. I hoped he wasn't angry with me, but I knew we would have to have a long talk after my jaw healed._

_Charlie took the seat next to my bed that my father had just vacated. I turned to look at him, wincing at the pain. He grimaced at my discomfort._

"_I just wanted you to know that Emmett's real sorry about what happened. He and Jake told me everything. For what it's worth, I don't think that what happened to Bella was your fault, and I don't believe that Emmett actually believes that either. He's just having a hard time with all of this- we all are. He was just looking for someone to blame."_

_He waited patiently while I grabbed for the pen and paper, and wrote one word. "Bella?"_

_Charlie frowned. "Listen, son. Bella's really struggling to cope with what happened to her. I won't go against her wishes and bring you to see her. My ex-wife is trying to get through to her, though. She's been singing your praises since she met you at the hospital. I can't pretend to understand what it is that has you so obsessed with my daughter, but Renee assures me that you're a good kid. She kind of has a sixth sense about people. Bella... she's a little more hard-headed. She gets that from her old man. She may come around, she may not. It's hard to tell with her."_

Is she okay?_ I scrawled on the paper._

"_Physically, she's fine. Her injuries are healing nicely. Emotionally... well, I guess you can say she's not really progressing much. She's reluctant to work with her therapists, or do anything for herself. At this rate, she'll never make it out of rehab. Honestly, I wish I could bring you in to talk some sense into her, see if she'd listen to you, or even Jacob. She needs someone removed from the family, because Lord knows she won't listen to us. But what I won't do is go against her wishes. If she doesn't want to see you now, there's nothing I can do. _

"_As far as Emmett, I appreciate you not pressing charges. You don't know how much that means to my family. But he will pay his dues, I promise you that."_

Thank you, _I wrote, just as a nurse arrived, announcing it was time to go to surgery._

_Charlie only grunted in reply, but as the nurse started to wheel me out of the holding bay, I swear I saw a tear roll down his face._

* * *

_When I came to after surgery, I could hear loud voices somewhere nearby. Though muffled, I could __clearly identify them as belonging to Rosalie and Emmett. _

_I opened my eyes and looked around. No longer resigned to the holding bay of the Emergency Department, I appeared to be in a private room with sparse furniture, puke-green walls, and a large boxy television set hanging on the wall across from my bed. Rosalie was standing by the door engrossed in a heated argument with Emmett._

"_I don't care what you came here to say, Emmett. I can't believe you did that!"_

"_Rosalie, please. We can work this out."_

"_Are you kidding? Did you see what you did to my brother's face? I can't do it, Em. I can't be with you if you can just fly off the handle so easily. Especially not after what I went through with Royce. You of all people should understand that!"_

"_I would never hurt you, Rosie," he begged._

"_You don't get to call me that anymore. Get out. I don't want to see you here again." With that, she slammed the door in his face. _

_She was visibly startled when she turned around and I was sitting straight up, staring at her with wide eyes._

"_Welcome back," she said, her voice much softer. "I guess you heard all that?"_

_I nodded, then involuntarily tried to ask her a question, but my mouth wouldn't open._

"_Your jaw is wired shut, hon. Don't try to talk." She handed me a pen and paper, then positioned my tray table across my lap. _

You broke up with him? _I wrote._

"_Yeah, I did. It wasn't going to work out anyway."_

You shouldn't have done that because of me. I shouldn't have provoked him.

"_From what I heard, you didn't provoke him. He was acting completely irrationally. Please, don't think for a second my decision was because of you. I just... I can't be with him if he's going to act that way. Maybe in time, if he calms down a little. He's just been different since Bella's accident, you know? Trust me, that relationship wasn't going anywhere."_

_I tried to frown, but my face hurt. Feeling groggy, I scribbled one last thing to her. _Love you.

_Rosalie smiled and ruffled my hair. "Aww, I love you too little brother."_

* * *

"Should we call 911?" Alice was asking.

The pain in my head subsides as all my memories settled, and I told her quickly, "I'm fine. Just a headache."

Jasper looked concerned. "Must have been one hell of a headache."

"It was," I agreed, turning quickly to the mirror on my closet door. There was a scar down the right side of my jaw now, one that hadn't been there before. It was very straight, but also very noticeable, practically glowing white under the fluorescent light. "Huh," I said, feeling the raised line on my flesh.

"Edward, you're kind of creeping me out," Alice told me. "Are you really okay?"

"I'm better than okay," I responded with a smile, as I recalled the rest of my memories.

Emmett and Rosalie never did get back together. Rosalie went to the university, and Alice followed, where she met Jasper. Rosalie was perfectly content playing the field, unattached for the moment. Bella missed the rest of the school year, but attended the next. She had to repeat her junior year while I was a senior. She ignored me when I saw her in the halls, and though it broke my heart I let her be, hoping that one day she would come to terms with her disability. After I left for college, it was hard for me to keep tabs on her progress, hearing only the occasional update from my mother who would occasionally see her around town, but not talk to her. Family relations between mine and Bella's remained strained since Emmett's assault on me, though I had vehemently refused to press charges, despite my parents protests. I was glad that even though I was a minor at the time, they let me make the decision.

But for the most part, things were normal. Bella had just enrolled in school for the spring semester, so she must be doing alright. Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie were all fine and happy. And most importantly, Bella was still alive, and she was probably okay.

It shocked me once again just how vivid my memories were, even if I wasn't really there. I couldn't wait to go see Bella now, to make sure with my own eyes she was fine.

"Alright, what gives Edward? What's with the goofy smile?" Alice asked me.

"Bella's back. I'm going to get my girl back," I told her.

She gave me a speculative look before her face morphed into a wide smile. With a high-pitched squeal, she launched herself at me, engulfing me in an excited hug. "It's about time!" she shrieked. "No more mopey Edward. This is going to be so much fun!"

* * *

A/N- Thoughts? I'd really love to hear from you. The next chapter will have lots of Bella. See you next Thursday. Please review!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 14**

"Dammit, Alice. I'm still having nightmares from the last time you tried to make me over," I muttered petulantly, huffing as she tried to tame the mop of hair on my head.

I saw her head cock in confusion in the mirror. "What are you talking about? You've _never _let me do this."

_Oh, right_, I muttered internally, wanting to smack myself. Of course I never let her do this. I'd been thinking about my first date with Bella, the one that in this timeline never happened.

"I must have had a nightmare about it, then," I said, looking nervously back at her. Her face relaxed and she shrugged as she bought my desperate lie.

I panicked as Alice pulled a bottle of gel from the little backpack she brought with her to my dorm room. The little unassuming backpack was straight out of Mary Poppins. She kept reaching in and emerging with more things to torture me with. As I waited for the inevitable floor lamp to be pulled from the bag, I shock a pleading look over at Jasper, who was lounged on his bed. He gave me a sympathetic look, then turned back to his _American Rifleman, _not saying a word.

_Traitor._

"Alice, this is really unnecessary. I don't need you to primp me."

"Don't you want to look nice for Bella? Isn't she worth it?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose roughly. "Of course she's worth it. But I also want her to like _me. _Not some version of me that you created with your devil bag. Seriously, how do you fit all that shit in there?"

Alice shrugged, then winked at me. "Magic," she whispered, her eyes bright and cheerful.

I knew it. The evil pixie was Mary Poppins.

"Seriously, enough is enough," I told her.

"Fine," she huffed, flopping down on my bed next to me.

I turned to face her. "So what's the plan?"

"Okay, I've been doing some recon. Bella has a class in the English building that lets out at the same time as your American History class, so about five minutes before your class ends you need to leave. Now your history class is a little small, and your teacher is a douche, so he'll notice you leaving. Leave your cell phone on high, and I'll send you a text, then you run out of there like something's on fire. When he questions you about it during the next class, tell him there was some major family emergency."

"Okay..." Leave it to Alice to plan every minute detail.

"So when you get out of class, haul ass over towards the Library, which Bella will be passing on the way to her dorm. Put this," she handed me a library book, "in the return box as soon as you see her approaching, then walk back down the stairs, pretending not to see her. Then you can be all like, 'oh, Bella hey,' but don't sound desperate. Just act pleasantly surprised. Do not, under any circumstances, bring up Emmett unless she does. Offer to walk with her back to her dorm. She's very independent, so don't offer to help her do minor things. Don't open doors for her, or offer to carry anything. She'll take offense, because that's just the way she is. Got it?"

"Alice?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"You know you're completely insane, right?"

Jasper chuckled from across the room and Alice smiled brightly. "You'll thank me later."

~~C.O.T.~~

I learned a long time ago to never question Alice, but I felt like a real douchebag as I paced in front of the library with a book in my hand, waiting to drop it into the box. I was sure Alice had a reason for making me do that, rather than just having me be at the library empty-handed. She had a sixth sense about such things.

However, after fifteen minutes passed, I was starting to get concerned when I didn't see her. Painful memories invaded my mind- memories of waiting for her at Bella Italia, the day she never showed. Naturally, I assumed the worst case scenario, given my history with her.

I shoved the library book roughly into the drop slot and took off towards the English building, following the path that would have been the most logical for her to take. It wasn't long before I spotted her. Seeing that she was okay, I breathed a sigh of relief as soon as I laid eyes on her. That is, until I got close enough to realize she was sitting in her chair in the middle of a walkway, sobbing quietly. I scowled at the handful of people who walked straight by her without even sparing her a glance. Obviously something was very wrong, and I couldn't get to her fast enough.

I threw Alice's caution to be nonchalant to the wind as I approached her, crouching to her level and looked her deeply in the eyes. "Bella? What's wrong?"

"Edward?" she gasped, staring at me with wide, red-rimmed eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I go to school here," I explained gently, frowning at her. "What's wrong?"

"It's stupid," she muttered. Under her breath, I could hear her say, "and so fucking embarrassing."

"I'm sure it's not stupid. Please, tell me what's bothering you?" I begged.

She stared at me quizzically for a minute, before letting out a deep sigh. "I'm just frustrated. This stupid chair shorted out- _again-_ and now I don't know what to do. I'm stuck here. I told my father I didn't want this freaking power chair, but he insisted, and now I'm stuck here. We already knew it was on the fritz, but Jacob swore he fixed it. What a mess..."

As she was speaking, we both heard a distant rumble of thunder, before the sky opened up, drenching us immediately. "Shit!" I exclaimed, quickly shrugging out of my jacket and putting it over her head to shield her from the rain.

"You have got to be kidding me," Bella moaned.

I sprung into action when I saw the first bolt of lightning, though it still seemed far off in the distance. I knew Bella didn't exactly have the best luck in the world, so I figured that it wouldn't be too irrational to be afraid of the lightning, as she was sitting in wheelchair that was at least half metal. Lighting would find her before she could blink.

"Bella, will this chair move without power if I push it?"

"Yes, but it's really heavy. You don't have to..." she started to protest, but I cut her off.

"It's either I push you back to your dorm or I throw you over my shoulder and carry you." Before giving her the chance to decide, I was behind her chair, pushing as hard as I could. She wasn't kidding, the chair was heavy and had stubborn wheels, but I managed alright, quickly picking up speed until I was nearly jogging with her down the path. "What dorm do you live in?"

I could barely hear her answer as the rain steady pounded on the pavement below us, but I was able to find her building with relative ease.

"The ramp is in the back," she said quietly.

I found the ramp and pushed the heavy chair up it, my back muscles straining from the effort, but we finally made it inside, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "Which way?"

"This one on the corner," she said, motioning with her hand. I pushed her to the door and she wordlessly handed me her key. I opened it and pushed her inside.

Her room was a regular sized double, but there was only one set of furniture inside. I guessed that they made special accommodations for the extra room she would need. I could see she also had her own bathroom, and I was grateful that she seemed to have what she needed.

"Towels?" I asked.

She motioned to the bathroom, and I returned with an armful. I draped one over her shoulders before I hastily dried myself as best I could.

"Thanks," she whispered. "If you could just set the manual chair next to me, I'll be fine now. You don't have to stick around."

I frowned. "You say it like it's a chore for me to be here. I haven't seen you in four years, you know? I missed you."

She sighed and looked down at her lap. "You don't have to lie to me, Edward. It's not fair to either of us. Please don't pretend."

"Pretend what?"

"Like I'm not a burden. Like what you just did for me wasn't a total pain in your ass."

"Granted, the chair wasn't easy to push," I admitted. "But it's not like I minded doing it. You were stuck out there in the rain in a busted chair. It was the least I could do for you."

It was all too apparent that nothing much had changed for Bella since that fateful day at the beach, at least not as far as her self-esteem was concerned. How could she think she could ever be a burden to me? Obviously, she didn't understand my feelings for her at all. I vowed then that I would spend every waking moment trying to prove to her how much she means to me. It hurt me to see her so broken.

I grabbed her manual wheelchair, which was folded up neatly next to her bed. After opening it, I placed it beside her and locked the brakes. I watched, admittedly with fascination, as Bella swiftly pulled down an arm of each chair, slid a board from behind her across the two seats, then shimmied gracefully from one chair to another.

"Where do you want this one?" I asked her, motioning to the power chair.

"Shove it out the window for all I fucking care," she snapped, pushing herself towards her dresser and fishing for some clothes.

"Bella," I whispered, my heart hurting to see her so angry. I pushed the chair out of the way next to her desk.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I've just had an awful day. I shouldn't take it out on you."

"Then talk to me," I begged. "Please don't push me away. Not again."

"You're right. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You were only helping."

"So talk to me?"

"What do you want to know?"

"You said you had a shitty day. What happened?"

"Well, my alarm didn't go off, and I must have left my phone on vibrate because I missed Charlie's standard, obsessive 'just checking on you' call. So he panicked and called my R.A. He obviously woke her up, because she was none too happy when she came in to get me up. That was embarrassing, but nothing compared to when I arrived in History fifteen minutes late and the professor lectured me in front of the entire class how just because I was handicapped, didn't mean the rules of punctuality applied."

"That son of a bitch!" I exclaimed. "Did you say anything back to him?"

"No, I'd drawn enough attention to myself by then. I just sat and tried to hide for the rest of the class. Then I got my math grades back, and failed my first test, just adding fuel to the fire, you know? Later, Charlie called and lectured me about leaving the ringer on my phone on. He's always getting on me about something, and I know it's just because he's worried, but he's far too overprotective. He almost wouldn't let me come here until my mother talked some sense into him. He's not happy about it, though, and he takes the opportunity to remind me at every turn, like he's waiting for me to fail and come home. Then, I run into you. After all these years, the first time you see me I'm stranded in the chair I didn't want in the first place, stuck like a hopeless cripple. Not my finest moment, I assure you."

"I assure you that you have nothing to be embarrassed about," I said with a smile. "I kind of enjoyed getting to play superhero for a change."

My heart warmed when she smiled with me. "You get off on that kind of stuff, huh?"

"Yeah, well, I don't get the opportunity too often, I have to take it when I can get it."

"My hero," she laughed, then sighed. "God, I missed you."

"You did?" I asked skeptically. "I mean, the way you left things..."

"I wasn't very fair to you back then. I know that. I'm sorry."

"There's no need for apologies now," I told her, sitting on the edge of her bed so that I could look her in the eye.

"You deserve to know why I was so awful to you," she insisted. "Hell, I've been thinking about it every day since."

"You thought about me?" I asked, unable to keep the elation out of my voice.

She flushed slightly. "I did."

I leaned forward and took her hand in mine, my thumb brushing across her knuckles. "I thought about you too- every day."

She trembled slightly as I caressed her hand, then pulled away suddenly. I tried to keep the blatant feelings of rejection off of my face.

"Sorry, it's just..."

"It's okay," I said. "You don't need to explain anything to me."

"I do, though," she insisted again. "It's the least you deserve."

"Okay. Tell me then."

"It's just that, I was already having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that I actually had a boyfriend- that someone liked me for me. Then after the accident, I felt so helpless. I was dependent on everybody for everything at first. Turning, sitting up, eating, getting to a chair. I lost all sense of dignity, having to be catheterized just to pee. I had strangers changing me. I even had to wear a diaper at first until I learned to control my bowels. I was a mess. Then when you came in, and you told me that you loved me, it turned my world upside down. I couldn't believe you would say that to me, because just like everything else it just felt like some elaborate lie just to make me feel better. I was so tired of being lied to- by nurses, doctors, my parents, Emmett. Everyone was telling me that it was going to be okay and things would get back to normal, but I knew it would never be the same again. Then you came in and told me you loved me, and I just lost it."

"I meant it," I told her firmly, looking her directly in the eye.

"I realized that later," she said, sniffling, as a large fat tear formed in the corner of her eye. "But even still, it was too late. I was so damaged and I couldn't put you through my recovery. We were so young, and you deserved a normal life. Then Emmett... after what he did..." she trailed off, the tears coming harder.

"Bella, what happened with Emmett meant nothing," I assured her.

"How could you even say that? He ruined everything. I heard what he did to you. You had to go through surgery." Her hand darted out and her fingers caressed the scar on my face, leaving a warm, tingling sensation in their path. I involuntarily leaned my cheek into her hand, relishing in her sharp intake of breath, knowing that she felt it too.

"I meant that it didn't change the way I felt about you."

"Even when I started to figure out that your feelings for me were real, by then it was too late. Every time I saw you at school I turned the other way, because I couldn't stand to see the look in your eyes. I knew you would want nothing to do with me after what my brother did to you."

"You're wrong."

"Well, even if that's true, it's too late now. There's no sense dwelling in the past. Anyway, you went off to college, and I didn't even know which one. I tried to have Charlie ask your father, but they weren't exactly on speaking terms. I didn't really know anybody at school that could tell me. I could have asked around town, I guess, but I never went out unless I had to. I couldn't stand the looks of pity on people's faces, the stares. Eventually, I just stopped trying. I was really surprised to see you here."

"Yeah, I'm a Junior now."

"Really? What's your major?"

"Theoretical Physics. Yours?"

She chuckled. "Why am I not surprised. You were always smart. English Literature."

I smiled softly. "Why am I not surprised?"

There was a lull in the conversation then, but it wasn't awkward. We stared at each other, both relishing in the fact that we found each other again. I tensed when she noticeably shivered.

"Bella, you're freezing!" I exclaimed. "God, I'm such a fucking idiot. Do you need to change? Your clothes are still soaking wet."

"So are yours," she pointed out. She grabbed her clothes from the table she set them on and began to wheel herself towards the bathroom. "There's a sweatshirt of Emmett's in the bottom drawer. It will probably be huge on you, but at least it's dry. Take off your jeans and put them on the heater," she ordered.

"Do you need any help?" I asked her.

"I might in a minute. Just get changed, I'll be out in a sec."

My face flushed red when what she told me to do sunk in. She wanted me to take my pants off? I struggled to remember what kind of underwear I had on, hoping it wasn't too embarrassing. After she was out of sight, I quickly shrugged out of my jeans and sighed in relief when I saw I was wearing a plain pair of black boxers with no humiliating cartoon characters on them. I fished for the sweatshirt she told me about and found it easily, then shrugged it on. As soon as I looked up, she was sitting in the doorway, staring at me with a look on her face that I couldn't quite read.

"What?" I asked nervously, uncomfortable with my state of undress. Emmett's sweatshirt was so long on me that it looked like I wasn't wearing pants.

"Nothing," she said softly. "Could you give me a hand?"

"Of course," I agreed. I saw that she had also changed into a sweatshirt, and that she had managed to drag a pair of sweats up to her knees.

"I could do it myself eventually, but it's always easier if someone helps me. Do you mind?"

"Not at all," I said, my voice rough. I approached her, and she lifted herself off the chair just enough that I was able to shimmy the sweats up to her hips.

"Thanks," she whispered, settling herself back down.

"What do you need?" I asked. "I mean, what else can I do for you?"

"Nothing really. I wouldn't mind getting on the bed, though. It's a little more comfortable than this chair."

I remembered Alice's warning to not help her unless she asked, but I couldn't help but offer. "Do you want me to lift you onto it?"

She rolled her eyes at me, but not in a mean way. "I can manage. Thank you." Using the same sliding board as before, she moved from her chair to the bed and settled back against the pillows.

"Comfortable?"

"Very," she answered. "Would you like to sit? You're stuck with me until your pants dry anyway. Would you like to... talk some more?"

"There's no place I'd rather be," I told her as I joined her on the bed, careful not to jostle her too much as I settled in next to her.

I was taken off guard when she scooted herself closer to me and nestled her head on my chest, enveloping me with a hug. "I can't believe you're here," she said sweetly. "I can't believe you don't hate me."

I titled her chin up so that she was looking in my eyes. "I could _never _hate you. Bella, I told you once that I loved you, and I meant it. I love you, Bella. I never stopped."

Her mouth was suddenly and urgently on mine, and it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. Our first kiss couldn't compare to this. Hot and needy, her tongue pushed insistently against my lips. I opened my mouth to her, and our tongues danced together, probing, exploring, until we were both gasping for air.

She pulled away from me suddenly, and her shirt was on the floor. My body immediately responded. She wasn't wearing a bra, and I couldn't help but stare. Her breasts were absolutely perfect and round, her pale pink nipples hardening under my gaze. "Touch me," she whispered.

I captured her mouth with my own again as my hand ever so slowly traveled up her ribcage until it was cupping her breast. It was soft and warm and the perfect size, as if it were meant for my hand. I kneaded it softly as I continued to kiss her, and shuddered when she moaned against my mouth.

I removed my mouth from hers and immediately attached it to her neck, sucking softly in a downward pattern. She shuddered under my touch. My mouth continued to travel southward, nipping and sucking along the way. I kissed the tops of her fleshy mounds, then swirled my tongue around her nipple.

Her answering groan spurred me on, and I lowered her back to the pillows. Keeping my weight off her, I pressed my lips back to hers and continued to kiss and caress. Desperate for friction, I slowly ground myself against her hips; the resulting sensation was completely overwhelming, and I almost came right then.

She started to pull my sweatshirt up, and I shrugged it off my body. Her hand traveled up and down my torso as we continued to kiss, and it felt like absolute heaven, her fingers leaving a blissful tingling sensation in their wake.

Her hand traveled lower, until her fingers were brushing against the waistband of my boxers. I froze when she dipped her hand completely inside, grabbing my hard length and squeezing gently, sending the most indescribable electric energy through me. As good as it felt, I knew that it was too much, too fast.

"Bella, stop," I whispered against her lips.

She froze, too, rejection showing all over her face. "You don't want me like that, do you? I know I'm not... whole. I just thought that maybe I could do something for you... God I'm an idiot." She looked away from me and reached for her sweatshirt, then hastily dragged it over her head.

Like an imbecile, I said nothing. I just stared at her with my mouth open, completely in shock by this turn of events.

"Please stop staring at me," she whispered. "If you want to leave, I get it."

"Bella... you think I don't want you like that?"

"Why else would you tell me to stop?"

"Because I was nervous," I admitted, ashamed. "I've never done anything like this before, and I didn't know how I would react. I don't want to move too fast with you. I love you."

She looked at me with a blank expression, and I wished for nothing more than to be able to read her mind.

"Please, say something," I begged, as I watched tears well up in her eyes once more.

"Edward... I love you too. So much."

* * *

A/N- So I decided to throw in a last little bit of happy before things hit the fan again. Did you like it? Reviews are always read, cherished, and responded to, so please leave one!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 15

Over the past month, Bella and I had become close, almost inseparable, but it wasn't without challenges. In the first few days our frustrations grew, and our tempers flared. It took a while for her to come to the understanding that I didn't constantly offer to do things for her because I thought she was an invalid, but because I felt it was my duty as her boyfriend- and as a man- to care for her. At the same time, I had to learn just how important her independence was to her, and I tried to step aside when I could see she was getting aggravated with my constant doting on her.

Things were much better now.

On the physical side, we were still taking things fairly slow. Though on weekends I basically lived in her room, everything we did was kept above the waist. The slow speed was more for my benefit than hers, but she was patient with me. I will admit to extensive research done on women with spinal cord injury and the ability to have sex, and was utterly intrigued at the possibility of paraorgasm, or a mental, "phantom" orgasm. I was excited for that fact, because I wanted our first time to be special, and something she would never forget. I just wasn't ready yet.

The biggest reason I wanted to take things slow was because I wanted to make sure she was really and truly emotionally ready, and that I was too. Her shutting me out after her accident was pure torture, and we hadn't even been together that long. This time, I wanted to make sure she was in it for the long run.

I still attended my regular classes, and Dr. Aro was still my physics professor. We only spoke once briefly after a class, where I begrudgingly admitted that he was right. I was embarrassed about my behavior. The day I yelled at him and tried to attach myself to the chair to go back and save Bella from the cliffs was not my proudest moment.

But he was right. I was being too hasty, rushing into things. After all, wasn't this existence better than the original? Bella was paralyzed, but I now realized that it wasn't the end of the world. Even though she seemed to have a hard time with it, I assumed that she would come to terms with her disability eventually. In fact, she was already starting to show signs that she was improving. I selfishly hoped that I was at least partly responsible for her carrying herself with more confidence. She just seemed happier when she was with me.

Life was pretty alright, for the time being. But there was still one last hurdle, one more unknown we'd yet to face.

We had to tell Charlie.

Charlie was like a machine. He didn't work on Fridays, and Bella didn't have classes after 10 a.m, so he was here every day at 11. He stayed until precisely six o'clock, after accompanying Bella to the dining hall for dinner. According to Bella, he asked her relentless questions- how she was getting along, how people were treating her. He made sure that she was taking the medications she needed, and that she was taking care of herself. I know that Bella sometimes dreaded what she deemed the "Friday Inquisition"_, _but we both knew that he did what he did out of love.

We both decided that it would be better to hold off on telling Charlie about our relationship until he got better used to the idea of her being away from home. Easter break was fast approaching, and we thought it was a good idea to tell him then. I wasn't too worried about how he would take the news. It was Emmett I was worried about.

I found out that he had followed in Charlie's footsteps and become a cop. From what Bella described, he seemed to have calmed his temper quite a bit, and was back- or at least a lot closer- to the happy-go-lucky Emmett I remembered. However, in my mind, I could still see quite clearly the rage on his face the day he'd hospitalized me, and that was the side of him I was afraid would come out when he found out that we were together.

Today was Sunday, exactly one week before Easter, and four days before we were released for a week from school to celebrate the holiday. The sun was filtering brightly through the curtains, announcing that morning had arrived, but I had no intention of moving. Bella was in my arms, spooned up against me, and murmuring in her sleep. I couldn't make out exactly what she was saying, but it sounded peaceful. As long as she wasn't having bad dreams, I would be content to listen to her babble all day.

She moaned a little and titled her head back into my chest. I couldn't resist leaning down and kissing her neck tenderly, which caused her to stir and then groan in agitation. "Ugh, what time is it?" she asked.

"It's almost nine," I told her.

"Shit," she muttered, yawning. "I shouldn't be this tired."

"Did you have trouble sleeping?" I asked, concerned.

"I just had trouble falling asleep, I think. A lot on my mind, I guess."

"You should have woken me up if you needed to talk."

"Please," she scoffed. "I keep you up enough at night, having to get up every few hours to turn over and get up to empty my bladder. I didn't want to bother you any more than I have to."

"It's never a bother," I assured her, kissing her temple. "Do you want to talk about it? Or sleep a little more?"

"Neither, I need to get to the bathroom," she answered. I released her from my hold and sat up. I knew that her toileting regimen was important. If she didn't catheterize herself every four hours or so, she risked getting a serious bladder infection or worse. I popped up out of bed and helped her to a sitting position, but before I could offer to help her to her chair, she sagged against my chest.

"Sweetheart, you're so tired," I commented, stroking her hair softly. "Will you let me take you there?"

She nodded wordlessly, and I was instantly concerned. She had _never_ allowed me to help her to the restroom. She always said that was the one line in our relationship she wouldn't cross. She was either growing more comfortable with me, which would be wonderful, or there was something really wrong with her.

As she grew more limp in my arms, I knew it was the latter.

"Do you want to get in the chair, or do you want me to take you straight in there?"

"Just take me in there," she sighed. "Please. I just don't think I can do it this morning."

Very carefully, I scooted her to the edge of the bed and pulled her up into my arms and walked her quickly into the bathroom. She lowered her pants herself, and I sat her on down on the toilet, making sure she was steady before I let her go.

Her expression was a mixture of embarrassment and resignation. "Tell me what you need," I urged her.

"Just hand me one of those kits from the top drawer, please. I can take it from here. I'll let you know when I'm done."

I handed her one of the packets then kissed her forehead, lingering for a second. I hoped I was conveying what I wanted her to see- that she shouldn't be embarrassed in the slightest. If anything, even if she was uncomfortable at first, this was an important step in our relationship. She admitted that she needed help, and she trusted me enough to help her.

That didn't mean I wasn't concerned. I debated on calling my father and having him come check on her, but I still wasn't sure he completely supported our relationship. He still had a giant chip on his shoulder from the incident with Emmett. When I told my parents about our relationship, my mother was ecstatic, but my father was reserved, saying only, _"Are you sure this is what makes you happy?" _When I told him that yes, I was positively happy, he frowned before saying, _"Then I'm happy for you, I guess."_

"Edward? I'm finished," Bella called from behind the closed door. I opened it to find her with her upper body slumped against the wall, her eyes closed.

"Bella!" I asked panicked. Her eyes fluttered open.

"I'm fine," she promised me. "Just tired."

"Are you sure? Maybe you should see a doctor?"

"No, Edward, please. I just need to sleep some more, and I'll be fine."

I didn't want to press the issue. Bella was conscientious enough about her health to admit when something was wrong, so if she was assuring me she was just tired, I would try to give her the benefit of the doubt.

The question was _why_ she was so tired. What was it that was keeping her up at night? Why wasn't she sleeping?

I vowed to get to the bottom of things, just as soon as she woke up again.

~~C.O.T.~~

Bella didn't wake up on her own volition, but at least she slept soundly. I changed her position in bed a couple of times, knowing it was better for her skin if she didn't sleep in one spot. She didn't even stir when I rolled her. I ended up having to wake her up around one o'clock so that she could once again catheterize herself. This time, to my relief, she had a lot more energy and insisted on getting to the bathroom alone. I begrudgingly accepted, but as soon as she shut the door behind her, I admit that I listened through the door to make sure she didn't fall.

Once she returned from the bathroom unscathed, I offered to help her back into bed, but she refused.

"I think I should sit up for a while," she told me.

"Do you need anything? Are you hungry? We could go to the dining hall."

"Edward, I'll let you know if I need anything," she said, a hint of frustration in her voice.

"I know you will. But can you understand I'm not trying to be overbearing? I'm just worried about you. You were really out of it this morning, and then you slept into the afternoon, which is fine, but very unlike you."

"Like I said, I've just been having trouble sleeping. I promise, I'm okay now."

"Can we talk about it, then?" I begged.

"I'm just..." she trailed off, staring at the wall behind me.

"Just what?"

"I'm worried about going home for Easter, that's all. I really like how things are going here. I feel really independent for the first time in four years. I can see you whenever I want and not have to worry about what my family thinks. My mom is coming up for the holiday too, and she can be a little intense. I could just use a little more time to be free from their overprotectiveness, that's all."

"I can definitely understand why you're not thrilled about going back, but you know they act the way they do around you because they love you. Besides, it's only for a week, and I'll be there too. You can come over to my parents' house if you need a break."

"If my parents even let me out of their sight," she muttered. "Besides, I know your parents aren't my biggest fans."

"That's not true," I insisted. "It's Emmett they aren't fond of. They already know about us, remember?"

"Yeah, and last I checked, your father wasn't exactly over the moon about our relationship."

"He will come around. I promise. And as far as what Charlie thinks..."

"It's not Charlie I'm worried about telling," she interrupted. "It's Emmett."

"No matter what happens, we just have to remember that at the end of the week, we're coming straight back here."

"I guess," she said, unconvincingly.

"Besides," I said with a wink, hoping to draw a smile out of her. "Worst case scenario, we could always run away together."

She chuckled and gave me an amused smile. "You know what? That's a pretty tempting proposition right about now."

~~C.O.T.~~

"It's going to be fine," I assured her again, for what felt like the hundredth time. It was Thursday, the day Bella had been dreading all week. As soon as we pulled up in front of Charlie's house, I reached across the console, took her hand, and caressed it gently.

"I love you," Bella whispered quietly, her voice full of trepidation.

"I love you more," I answered back.

"You two are disgusting," Rosalie quipped from the backseat, jumping out and popping open the trunk. She removed Bella's folding wheelchair and brought it over to the passenger side.

"She's just jealous," Bella muttered.

"I know," I smiled, leaning over and kissing her tenderly. She responded eagerly, as if it were the last kiss she would ever receive from me.

"Ahem," an annoyed voice sounded from outside my open driver's side window. I tensed and turned slowly to find Charlie standing outside the car with his arms crossed, trying to look intimidating. He was clearly surprised when he saw my face.

"Edward?" he asked, squinting as if he wasn't sure he was seeing right. "Erm... how are you?"

"I'm good sir, thank you. It's good to see you again."

"This is a surprise," he muttered.

Charlie wasn't thrilled when Bella informed him that a "friend" would be taking her back from school. He insisted on picking her up himself, until Bella threatened to not come home at all. Bella was purposely vague about who the "friend" was, citing his propensity to pull police records and personal information of almost anyone she came in contact with, including her professors. They argued at length about it, and I was a direct witness to the multiple uncomfortable phone calls between them.

Nevertheless, he agreed that I could bring her back with me. It would have been the perfect car ride, had Rosalie not insisted on coming along. She and Alice usually traveled together, but Alice was with Jasper visiting his parents in Texas. While I loved my sister to death, she wasn't the best person to be in a car with for any extended period of time. She constantly complained about everything from the music, to my speed, to how hard I hit the brakes. She also demanded a bathroom break almost every hour, which was quite taxing for a short four hour car ride.

I got out of the car and went to retrieve Bella from the passenger side, but Rosalie was already there, opening her door and settling Bella's sliding board down for her. It warmed my heart to see how quickly my sister accepted her, and they were quickly becoming close friends. Bella swiftly scooted over into her chair, then wheeled herself around to where Charlie was waiting, his arms outstretched to greet her. She embraced him in a warm hug, and I realized that all her worry was for naught. He did love her, that much was plain to see. Bella seemed right at home, and much more relaxed than she was before she got out of the car. Rosalie and I stood back and allowed them their quiet moment.

"Where's mom?" Bella finally asked.

"She and Phil aren't arriving until tomorrow," Charlie explained. "So, uh... you and Edward, huh?"

"Yeah, for about a month now. I didn't want to tell you right away. I was afraid of how you'd react."

"I suppose you could do worse," he said with a sideways glance at me. It wasn't a glowing compliment, but I'd take it. At least he didn't outright disapprove.

Bella was giving Charlie an expectant look.

"I guess I'll just give you kids a minute to say goodbye," he muttered, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and turning towards the door. "Come on in when you're ready. Sue Clearwater brought over that fish fry you like. I thought we could make it together."

"That sounds great, Dad," Bella said. "I'll be in in a minute."

When Charlie disappeared behind the door of his house, Rosalie gave Bella a swift hug and got into the passenger seat. Hoping that Charlie wasn't spying from the window, I leaned down and gave Bella another deep, tender kiss, which she returned with fervor.

"I love you," I whispered, kissing her lightly again and again. "I promise it will be alright."

"I know," Bella answered. "I love you so much."

I pressed my lips against hers once more, and we were both so lost in our moment that the world simply faded around us. We both snapped our heads up when we heard a car door slam. Emmett was climbing out of his police cruiser, stalking towards us. "What the fuck?" he demanded.

"Emmett, cut it out," Bella warned, wheeling around to face him.

"You and him?"

"Yes, me and him. For the past month now. It's none of your business. Anything you want to say to me can be said inside. Edward was just leaving."

"I can't believe that you're going out with _him, _and you didn't even think to tell me. For a month?" he shot me a look when he said 'him', as if I disgusted him. It angered me a little, one because he was talking to his sister in such a sharp manner, but also because I hadn't done anything to him. It was him who overreacted and attacked me, not the other way around. I was even the bigger man and decided not to press charges, because I cared about Bella _and _her family far too much. Even after four years, he treated me like I was the scum of the earth, and it was simply baffling.

"He has a name, Emmett."

"I don't give a shit," he snapped. "Why would you hide this from me?"

"Because I knew you'd react like a jackass!"

"Screw that! I can't believe you'd ever talk to me like that, after everything I've done for you!"

"Yeah, and what about everything you did to Edward? You never even apologized!"

"Yeah, I'll get right on apologizing to the dickhead who's fucking my sister!" he roared. To me, he continued, "What is it about her, Edward? You think it's quaint that she's in a wheelchair? You think she's an easy lay just because she's handicapped? Keep your hands off her!"

I felt like I had been slapped in the face. Bella was staring at him, her mouth open in shock. I quickly moved into defense mode when her lower lip started to tremble, and her eyes began to water. "I can't believe you just said that about me," she cried. "Is that what you really think? That I couldn't get a guy on my own, that they'd only be with me because they think I'm easy? That they'd get bored of me? I can't believe you."

Emmett looked appropriately remorseful. "Bella, I'm sorry..." he started. "I can't believe I just said that. I didn't even mean it; I was just angry. I'm so sorry."

"Save it!" she screamed. "Edward, take me back to your house please. Emmett, tell Dad that I'll be back when you remove your head from your ass and your foot from your mouth!"

"Bella, wait!"

She ignored him as she wheeled her chair over to my car. Rosalie was already out of the car and ready to help Bella into the backseat, all while shooting a death glare at Emmett.

"Bella..." he pleaded.

"I should fucking punch you," I told him in a warning voice. "But I don't want to uspet her. Don't ever talk about her like that again. I mean it."

I expected some kind of argument, or at least a petty retort, but he said nothing as he hung his head in shame.

Bella was in the car now, and Rosalie crawled in next to her, wrapped her arms around her in a sisterly hug, and murmured reassuring words into her ear. Sometimes I really loved my sister, because right now, I had no idea what to say to Bella to make her feel better.

"Bella?" I asked tentatively, as she sobbed in the backseat. "What can I do?"

"Just drive, Edward," she sniffled. "Get me the hell away from here."

As I pulled away, I caught sight of a grief stricken Emmett in my rearview mirror. He looked like he was being burned at the stake, the pain on his face undeniable. In fact, the agony was so clear that I almost, _almost, _stopped the car to encourage Bella to try to work it out with him, but I knew how she operated. She needed some time to sit alone and process, and that was the one thing I could give her right now- sanctuary.

I pulled to the end of their cul de sac and swiftly made a three point turn. I hit the gas, and drove back down the street. I tried to watch my speed, knowing that there was a cop actively watching me, but I went a little faster than I normally would, knowing that Bella wanted to get away as quickly as possible.

It happened in slow motion. As I sped back past the Swan house, I couldn't have anticipated Emmett's next move. As he stepped in front of my car, his hands outstretched as if to stop us, I could clearly see the anguish in his eyes. I slammed on the brakes, but it was too late. There was nothing I could do.

Time sped up as the brakes locked, and my car kept skidding, much too fast. It hit Emmett with a loud bang, as his massive body rolled up and onto the windshield, the back of his head hitting the glass first, shattering it instantly.

Bella was screaming as Rosalie and I scrambled out of the car, and Charlie came dashing from the house. Voices were muffled around me as the world started to spin, and Emmett lay motionless on my windshield, bleeding profusely from his head.

Rosalie was the more collected than I was at the moment. She was quickly assessing Emmett, her fingers on his neck to check a pulse, her ear close to his face, listening for breath. His eyes were fixed and lifeless.

The muffling around me ceased, and the first clear words that I could hear came from Rosalie. In a choked whisper she said, "He's dead, Edward."

* * *

A/N- Reviews are always appreciated. Thank you for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 16**

"_He's dead, Edward."_

The words my sister spoke rang in my ears over and over, yet no matter how many times I repeated them to myself, they didn't make any sense.

_This can't be happening._

"No..." I told her. "Dammit, no, Rosie, he's not fucking dead. You know CPR right?"

"Yes, but Edward..."

"_Then fucking do something!" _I screamed frantically.

Charlie had reached us, and was pulling Emmett down from the window so that he was laying flat against the hood. "No..." he whispered, his eyes glassy. "No..."

"He's not dead yet, Charlie. Rosie, do something!"

"Edward... no. Look," Rosalie plead, her eyes full of tears. "Look."

I looked, and immediately wished I hadn't. Emmett's neck was broken at an odd angle, right at the base of his skull. It didn't take a medical degree to realize what Rosalie and Charlie were trying to tell me. There was no coming back from this- Emmett was gone.

A violent sob caused me to turn sharply back towards the car. Bella was banging on the window, sobbing and screaming. Rosalie rushed to open her door, and as soon as it was open, Bella flung herself onto the ground, and began to crawl towards us, her loud sobs the only sounds around us. I rushed to her and scooped her up in my arms as if she weighed nothing. She began pounding her little fists on my chest as her tears flowed. I cried along with her, and let her continue to pummel me.

"You killed him!" she sobbed. "Why?"

"It was an accident, Bella. I'm so, so sorry."

She started hitting me again, then Charlie yanked her from my arms, cradling her to his chest as if she were a small child. Rosalie pulled over her chair and Charlie set her down in it.

"The police are on the way," Rosalie said quietly. "And an ambulance."

"Charlie, I..."

"Edward, don't," Charlie said gruffly, unshed tears brimming in his eyes. "I saw what happened. I know it was an accident."

"Bella?"

She stared back at me blankly, her tears still flowing freely.

I sat on the curb and put my head in my hands, wondering if there I would ever be a way we could get past this.

I wasn't very confident that there was.

~~C.O.T.~~

"Edward, come on. You need to eat," Rosalie begged, setting down a tray in front of me. I hadn't left my bed for four days, save infrequent visits to the bathroom. I ate and slept very little, as I was completely overcome with guilt, sadness, and grief.

I had killed a man. It wasn't my intention, and the police agreed that there was no wrongdoing on my part. Even Charlie told me he didn't blame me.

But I blamed myself. I kept hearing Bella's voice over and over again in my head.

"_You killed him!"_

She hadn't called me, not that I expected her to. Over the last few days, I had dialed her number repeatedly, but never had enough courage to hit send.

Bella was the love of my life, and I killed her brother. That fact was undeniable. Even if she managed to find it in her not to blame me, how could she ever be around me without thinking of him, and what I'd done?

I refused to look at Rosalie as she tried to shove a forkful of eggs in my face, as if she was feeding an infant.

"I'm not hungry."

"I know, Eddie, but you have to eat something."

"You're as bad as mom with the food stuff. Can't you just let it go?"

Rosalie sighed. "We're just worried about you, that's all." She put the fork down and pushed the tray away. "Do I have to ask if you heard from Bella?"

I shook my head. "She probably doesn't want to see me."

"She loves you, Edward. I'm sure she's just trying to figure things out right now." A look of determination crossed her face. "Get up and take a shower."

"Why?"

"First of all, you haven't showered in four days and I can smell you from downstairs. Second, you're going over to see Bella."

My heart fluttered briefly at the idea of seeing her, then anxiety began to brew within me, and I trembled slightly. "What if she won't see me? If she refuses, I don't know how I can handle it."

"Then at least we'll know for sure. It's been four days. She needs you, I'm sure of it. Do you realize how selfish you're being?"

"Selfish?" I asked, confused, and a little irritated.

"Yes, selfish. You're wallowing in your bed full of self-pity, but she just lost her brother. Maybe she hasn't called because she's waiting for you to come to her. Did you ever think about how hard this must be for her? Maybe she needs a shoulder to cry on? Maybe she needs her boyfriend?"

I was up and out of bed in an instant, with new found determination. "You're right," I told her. "I am being selfish."

She gave me a triumphant smile. "Don't forget to shower!" she said cheerfully, as she breezed out of my room.

A half hour later I was shaved, showered, and had eaten my breakfast. I ran down the stairs, and almost barreled over my mother, who looked up at me startled. "Edward, you're up!"

I kissed her on the cheek. "Yeah, I'm feeling a little better. I'm going over to see Bella."

She frowned. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" I asked, annoyed. "I'm her boyfriend. She lost her brother. She needs me."

"Edward, I don't think it's a good idea. I ran into Renee at the supermarket, and she..." she trailed off, her eyes downcast.

"She what?" I snapped.

"She thinks it's better if you two stopped seeing each other. They're having a hard time there now. Maybe it's best to leave them alone?"

"I love her!" I snapped, raising my voice. "Why is everyone always trying to keep us apart?"

Still frowning, she reached up and stroked my cheek in a motherly gesture. "Edward, sometimes things just aren't meant to be."

"We'll see about that," I muttered, pulling away from her touch. I stormed out the door, to the driveway where my Volvo was waiting. Then I froze.

Rosalie had already taken care of getting the windshield replaced, and there was surprisingly little damage from the accident besides that. Still, I stared at the car with trepidation, remembering the last time I was in it.

"It's just a car," I murmured to myself, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I marched over to it and pulled open the door, then quickly settled myself in the driver's seat. As soon as I put my head up to look out the windshield, I saw Emmett's lifeless face and fixed eyes. It was just a flash, but it was enough to make me gasp, and my heart start pounding. "Fuck," I whispered, shaking my head to clear the image.

It was the thought of Bella that finally gave me the strength to turn the key in the ignition and put the car in gear. I hated how selfish I'd been. What if Rosalie was right, and she was over there waiting for me, wondering why I hadn't called? Maybe she did need me. Why hadn't I considered that? She deserved better, and I knew that if she would let me, I would grovel forever until she forgave me.

The ride to Bella's house seemed endless, and the closer I got to her street the more anxiety I felt. Just getting into the car was hard enough, but driving to the place that it happened was pure torture.

When I got to the house, I parked across the street and tried to avoid looking at the accident scene. I couldn't help it, though.

The first thing I noticed was that the blood had been cleaned up. Then I saw that somebody had placed a small cross and a bouquet of flowers on the curb, right next to where Emmett was struck by my car. I wondered if it was Bella, or maybe her mother, that placed them.

The front door of the Swan home was ripped open before I even reached it, and Renee stormed out. "You!" she hissed. "What are you doing here?" I was shocked by her anger, despite my mother's warning. When Bella fell from the cliffs, Renee had been my strongest ally, but now things had clearly changed.

I stood up a little straighter, feigning confidence. "I'm here to see Bella."

"The hell you are," she spat, staring daggers at me. Though I completely understood her anger, I didn't back down. There were things that needed to be said.

"Mrs. Dwyer, please. I know you must think the worst of me, given what happened to your son, but it was an accident. I'm so very sorry that it happened, but it wasn't my fault. I hope that in time you can try to forgive me, because I love your daughter, and I intend to be in her life as long as she'll have me."

Her expression softened, but only for a moment. "I know it was an accident," she said quietly. "Charlie told me. He has his faults, but if there's one thing he doesn't do, it's lie. If he doesn't blame you, then I certainly can't."

"Then what is it?" I asked. "Why are you trying to keep me away from her?"

"Don't you get it, Edward? Don't you see that you two are not meant to be together? I believe in fate, whether you do or not. Why is it that every time something tragic happens to my family, you seem to be involved?"

I had no answer for her, so I said nothing.

"It's fate, plain and simple. The universe doesn't want you to be together, and it's time we respect that. You're a good kid, Edward, but this- your relationship with Bella- is just not meant to be."

"I just can't accept that. I love her. She's my soul mate."

"Even if that's true, we're not all destined to find our match. This clearly isn't meant to be. I won't allow it anymore. This family has suffered enough."

I internalized what she said, and I couldn't deny that there was truth in her words. I didn't _want_ it to be true. I didn't want to believe that all of the tragedy that had fallen upon this family was because of my presence in their lives.

Images flashed before my eyes, visions I never wanted to see again.

_Bella struck by the speeding van, her head cracked open on the pavement._

_Bella, naked and bloodied behind a dumpster in an alley, her innocence stolen from her._

_Emmett rotting away in a prison cell, after taking the lives of the men who took his sister from him._

_Rosalie taking Royce's hand willingly, and walking away from our family._

_Alice's tears as she watched her closest friendship dissolve before her eyes._

_My mother's lifeless eyes as she spoke about her marriage crumbling._

_Bella slipping on the rocks at the cliffs and plummeting helplessly to the rocks below, causing her spine to sever._

_Bella's face when she realized her brother was dead._

A sharp pain filled my abdomen, and I clutched my stomach helplessly, groaning aloud. The pain was so intense, it brought me to my knees.

_Renee is right, _I thought._ How could I have been so blind?_

If Renee was right, as I suspected she was, then I could be doing even more harm to their family, just by standing here on their front lawn.

Nausea overtook me. I swallowed hard to keep from vomiting.

"See, Edward?" Renee said gently, reading my tortured expression. "You see it too, don't you?"

"Yes," I whispered. "I'm sorry. I'll go now. I'm really sorry about your loss. Just... tell her I love her. Please? I don't want to leave without her knowing that."

Renee sighed. "Thank you. And I will. She deserves to know."

As the pain started to subside, I found my footing again. "Renee, how is she? Please... I need to know."

"She's alright, Edward. She's grieving, we all are, but she's a survivor. She's angry with me right now, but I know that in time she'll forgive me."

"Why is she angry?"

"Because she doesn't like that I intend to keep you apart. But I know the truth, and now you see it too."

"Take care of her," I said. She nodded and walked back into the house. I didn't miss the tears in her eyes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Bella in her bedroom window at the front of the house. Her window was wide open, despite the chilly weather. After the accident, they moved her to the ground floor. She was sitting on her bed staring straight at me, her eyes wide and sad.

I told myself to leave. The longer I stayed, the more potential I had to screw up her life even more. But I couldn't walk away, not without saying goodbye. I glanced at the front door again and saw that Renee was inside, and nobody appeared to be watching. I ran to Bella's window and quickly crawled inside.

"Edward!" she sobbed quietly, her voice a loud whisper. "You're here. I'm so sorry about the things I said to you, and about my mom. I'm so sorry."

"Bella, no. You have nothing to be sorry for." I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to my chest. "I love you so much. So, so much."

"Forget about my mother," she plead. "Please, I need you. Just take me away from here, now. Please! I can't stand that they won't let me see you."

"Bella... Bella," I whispered into her hair. "I can't."

"Why?" she cried. "Because of what my mother said?"

"Yes, Bella. She's right. I can't apologize enough for all the pain that I've caused you and your family."

"Edward, the accident wasn't your fault. You know that. I know what I said, but I was just in shock. Please, you have to believe me."

"No, Bella, not just that. There was that, and the cliffs..."

"I slipped! It was my own clumsiness that landed me in this chair! How could you even think that you had anything to do with that?"

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. The things she didn't know were eating a hole in my soul, and I wanted to tell her, but I knew she wouldn't believe me.

And I knew that it wouldn't matter if I did tell her. I knew what I had to do. I would go back, and fix everything, once and for all. In a few hours time, Bella wouldn't even know I existed. It would be my last act of love for her.

I leaned in and kissed her, with all the fervor a last kiss should entail. She didn't return the kiss, pushing away from me instead. "No!" she snapped, no longer concerned about the volume of her voice. "Don't kiss me like this is goodbye. This isn't goodbye!"

"Bella, there is so much that you don't know. But I promise you, I will make it right. I love you, so much. I'm going to fix everything, I promise. I have to go."

"No, Edward. Don't," she cried, clutching onto my shirt with all her strength. I took her hands gently and forced her to release me. I gave her another, lingering kiss and whispered my love for her once again. I didn't look back, fearing that seeing the sorrow on her face would change my mind.

My heart broke as I crawled back out the window, knowing that it would be the last time I would ever see her.

~C.O.T.~~

I left without even saying goodbye to my family, knowing that a younger version of myself would be seeing them again in just a few hours. It was time to make things right, once and for all. Renee's words really hit home for me- I knew what I had to do.

It was only when I got all the way back to the campus that I remembered it was closed for the break. It was Monday, and classes weren't set to start again until Thursday. Professor Aro was probably home with his family.

But I couldn't wait until Thursday. That just wasn't an option.

I approached the science building and surveyed it, sure it was locked down tight. There was some expensive equipment in there that needed to be secured. In fact, there was probably at least one security guard inside, just in case.

Knowing the building like the back of my hand, I knew exactly where I needed to go. I found the small window to the first floor mens room, the only window close enough to the ground that I knew I could reach easily. I found a large rock nearby, and shattered the window without taking too much time to think about it. In the back of my mind, I knew the windows might be alarmed, but I figured I could get in and down to the lab before anyone could catch me.

I ran straight for the elevator and pressed the down button, looking over my shoulder. Fortunately, nobody seemed to be following me. The elevator dinged, and I got on, my hand moving to directly to the panel. I remembered that on the panel was a small door, that allowed Aro access to his lab. I didn't see the door, so I pulled on the panel, but it didn't budge. I pulled again, and nothing.

Frustrated, I tugged again, this time pulling the entire panel leaving the innards of the elevator controls exposed. I could see all of the buttons, but there was one missing. There was no button for the sub basement.

I growled in exasperation and exited the elevator. I confirmed I was at the right one, then stormed down the hallway to where Professor Aro's office was. Confusion, frustration, and anger all overtook me, and suddenly I didn't even recognize myself. I became another person, wild, feral almost, as I marched down the hallway.

The nameplate on Aro's door had been changed. His name was no longer engraved there.

It instead said Dr. Banner.

"What the fuck?" I hissed. I growled and pulled the whole nameplate off the wall, and chucked it down the hallway. It hit the floor with a clank, then skipped a few times before coming to a halt.

A shadowy figure emerged from the corridor at the end of the hall. He was dressed all in black, his face deathly pale.

"Aro!" I shouted down to him. "What the fuck is this?"

He glided towards me, and for a moment I thought he was floating, his black trenchcoat flailing out behind him like a cape.

"Destruction of property, Edward? Really? I thought you were better than that," he drawled.

"What the hell did you do to the elevator?"

"My brothers and I are leaving, Edward. We couldn't risk anyone finding the lab down there, so we removed the evidence. It's as if it never existed."

"You can't do this to me," I argued. "Please, one more time. I know how to fix everything. I have to change what I've done. I've screwed everything up."

"Have you learned nothing?" he growled, his face morphing into one of anger. "Every time you come back, something has changed for the worse. It's destructive, and we can no longer risk the consequences. It's why my brothers and I decided to move on. We realize that we cannot give this power to any one human- it's too risky. We thought we selected carefully enough to try our experiment, but we were obviously wrong."

"What do you mean you were wrong?"

"I mean, look at you. Look what this has done to you. After you killed that poor girl's brother, you break into a science lab, vandalize the inside of it?"

"How did you know about her brother?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes in suspicion.

"I have my ways," he answered, sounding bored, his eyes not leaving mine.

"Please. I need one more time. I realized that the more I meddle in her life, the worse it gets. She needs to have never met me. I'll make it so that she never comes to Forks. I'm toxic for her, I see that now. If she doesn't come to Forks, she won't die and neither will her brother. I can't be involved in her life anymore. Please, I have to try. One last time."

"You truly believe that that is the answer? To keep her away from Forks?"

"I do," I said, determined. "It has to be. You've given me a gift, and I've abused it. Please, allow me one last chance to make it right."

"Allow it," another voice said from behind me. I whipped around to see Caius and Marcus standing behind me- I hadn't even heard them approach. Caius was glaring at me with a lethal gaze, but Marcus looked thoughtful. He was the one who had spoken.

"How could you even suggest that?" Aro demanded of him.

"Because he has identified that he's made mistakes, and he wishes to repair them. I see no harm."

"But it will be the last time," Caius added.

"Fine," Aro said with a shrug. "Follow me, young Edward."

I was confused as I followed him back down the hall, to the elevator I had just ripped the panel from. Even still, I didn't question him as he called the elevator and stepped on.

I watched in fascination as he waved his hand in front of the panel and it morphed before my eyes, right back to it's original shape. He flicked the small door open and hit the sub basement button- the one that just a few seconds ago hadn't been there.

I waited in awed silence as the elevator descended, and Aro guided me back towards the chair I was now so familiar with. As he attached the electrodes to my head, I gave him a quizzical stare and asked him, "What are you?"

He chuckled and ignored my question, handing me the panic switch. "Change what you need to, hit the button and come back here. Then I will answer your question."

* * *

**A/N-** So Aro isn't exactly human, but he's not a vampire. I'm interested to hear your theories! Please leave a review, I always love to hear from you :)


	18. Chapter 18

A/N- sorry for the unannounced and unplanned hiatus. I won't bore you with the details, as I've kept you waiting long enough.

If you need clarification on the references to Riley in this chapter, refer to chapter 12, where Bella talks to Edward on the beach.

* * *

Chapter 17

I closed my eyes and concentrated. _Phoenix. Two weeks before Bella comes to Forks._

Nothing happened. I tried again, putting my entire focus on the city of Phoenix, but still there was no change, no tingling feeling.

"It's not working!" I shouted, frustrated.

"What is it that you're focusing on?" Aro asked, raising his eyebrows slightly. His eyes shone a hint of amusement, which instantly pissed me off.

"Phoenix," I told him. "I need to get to Phoenix, to keep her from coming to Forks."

"And have you ever been to Phoenix?"

"No."

"You know how this works, Edward. You must travel to a place in your mind that you have been before. How can you expect to travel directly to Phoenix when you've never been there before?" he asked, laughing. "I thought you were supposed to be smart."

I growled under my breath, in no mood for his mocking. Instead of arguing, I chose to focus instead. There had to be something memorable, shortly before Bella came to Forks, but I was coming up blank. It was like my life never existed before Bella. Anything before that seemed hazy and out of focus; I could find nothing tangible to concentrate on.

I could feel frustration bubbling in the pit of my stomach, and with one hand I grabbed the base of the leads and pulled them off my forehead, taking some stray hairs with them. "I can't remember anything!" I groaned, beginning to pace frantically. Aro watched me quietly for a few moments before finally speaking.

"Why don't you sit down, relax, and clear your mind. There must be something to focus on."

"You want me to fucking meditate?"

"I don't appreciate the attitude, Edward," Aro said, annoyed. "I am trying to help you after all."

"Sorry," I muttered, knowing he was right. I took his advice and sat cross legged on the floor, and brought my hands to my temples. I took a few deep breaths and tried to focus, but all I could see in my head was Bella. I tried to push her from my mind, and remember any random day in high school, but it was all the same. I wasn't involved in any activities or sports, so there were no big games or school plays to remember clearly. It was like my life was on endless repeat- getting up, going to school, doing my homework, tinkering with my computer, and going to bed. Day after day, it was all the same. I couldn't remember anything specific enough to travel back to.

With the frustration building, I decided to focus on someone else, to see if that would trigger any memories. Something big must have happened to Rosalie, or maybe Alice. Maybe there was something I'd witnessed.

Then it struck me.

_In late February, there was a party thrown in the middle of the week. Rosalie was a senior. She came home late- really late- and drunk._

_I'd fallen asleep on the couch, and was awoken by the sound of the door slamming. A laughing, and very inebriated Rosalie and Alice pushed through the door. I jumped up, afraid they would wake our parents, and warned them both to be quiet. _

"_Eddie!" Rosalie squealed. "I had so much fun!" She tripped and banged her side against the coat rack near the front door, resulting in her erupting in a fit of giggles._

"_Shh," I warned her. "Be quiet, and let's go upstairs."_

"_Whatever you say," she said with a serene smile and a little twirl. I would have laughed had I not been afraid that she'd be grounded forever if my parents found out._

_Somehow, I managed to get them both upstairs, changed (with my back turned of course) and into Rosalie's bed. I thought she was sleeping, but as I tried to make a quiet retreat, she popped up and wrapped her arms around my neck. She gave me a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek and said, "I owe you one, little brother."_

"_Damn right you do," I laughed quietly as I loosened her grip around my neck and settled her back against the pillows. "Love you."_

"_Love you too, Edward," she murmured, then let out a loud, unladylike snore._

I wasn't exactly sure why it was that specific memory that popped into my head. Maybe it was because I was a little jealous of Rosalie and Alice that night, for being so carefree as to go out and party on a school night, the consequences be damned. Maybe it was because I was sincerely worried about Rosalie, because I knew she'd been out with Royce King, and I always had a bad feeling about him.

But more than likely, I think that the memory stuck out to me was because I woke up- first startled, then angry- to find Alice curled up next to me in my bed. I remembered checking to make sure that we were both fully clothed (and thankfully we were), then waking her up and demanding an explanation. She just snorted and rolled over, mumbling something about Rosalie snoring. I never imagined that Alice would be the first woman to ever sleep in my bed.

Still trying to meditate, I closed my eyes and focused hard on the moment that I could most clearly remember- my shock at waking to find Alice with her head on my chest, and discovering a small spot of drool on my tee-shirt, undoubtedly left by her.

"I'm ready," I told Aro, rising and then settling myself into the chair. He connected the leads to my head once again, and before I knew it, I was flying. The tingling pain in my limbs barely registered this time. I must have finally gotten used to it after so many times moving in time, trying to right my past mistakes.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I opened my eyes. Alice was there, but of course this wasn't as shocking to me as it once was. I gently repositioned her on her side before quietly getting up and padding over to my laptop. I didn't want to waste any time.

It unnerved me that I didn't know exactly when Bella and her family made the final decision that she and Emmett would relocate to Forks. My jaunt back in time had given me a full two weeks before they arrived, and I could only hope that it would be enough time. I remembered Bella telling me that the decision had been made quickly, as Emmett had gotten himself into trouble by defending his sister's honor... with his fists.

If I had timed everything right, my plan would work. I needed to accomplish two specific things- the first was preventing Riley from taking Bella out, and eventually humiliating her, thus causing Emmett to fly off the deep end.

I knew I was going out on a limb by searching the online Phoenix White Pages to see if they were listed, but to my surprise they were. _P & R Dwyer_, complete with a phone number and address. I scribbled both down quickly. After another quick search, I was able to determine which high school Bella and Emmett most likely went to, then wrote down that address as well. It was a bit of a shock to see how many different schools were in Phoenix, given that there was only one in the entire City of Forks.

My next step was checking the airlines, and I saw that there was a flight leaving from Port Angeles to Seattle, and then directly to Phoenix. If I was going to leave, I would have to do so immediately. Using my credit card was out of the question- my parents could never know where I was- so I dug in the box under my bed where I had been collecting my birthday money and allowance for years. I had little more than enough to get me to Phoenix and back, but I couldn't think of a better use for the money.

After packing a change of clothes, just in case I needed them, I ran next door to Rosalie's room and barged in without knocking. It was too early for her to have woken up for school, so I shook her awake.

"Huh?" she asked sleepily, sitting up slightly and rubbing her eyes.

"You said you owed me," I told her.

"I... what? I didn't mean at six in the morning, Edward."

"I wouldn't be waking you up if it wasn't important. I need you to cover for me."

"Huh?"

"I'm skipping school today, and probably tomorrow. I need to go out of town. Please don't ask me why."

She narrowed her eyes at me, but didn't ask any questions. I wondered if she was still drunk from the night before.

"What am I supposed to tell them?"

"Just say I had to leave for school early today and tomorrow for a project, and that I'll be home late tonight. I'll even call to check in around dinner to make it look good, okay?"

"Are you in trouble?" she asked, concerned.

"No," I assured her. "At least, I don't think so. I'll be fine."

"I don't know if mom and dad will believe me."

"They don't have a reason not to trust me," I told her. She just shrugged, knowing that I was right. In seventeen years, I'd never given my parents any reason not to trust me. If Rosalie told them I was out late working on a project, they would believe her.

"Alright, just be careful," she muttered, her eyes fluttering closed again. "And bring me some aspirin before you go."

I frowned at her discomfort, even though I knew her current condition was her fault. After rushing quickly to the bathroom we shared to retrieve her a couple of aspirin, I was in my car, heading towards the airport.

~~C.O.T.~~

After just barely making my flight, a slight delay in Seattle, a long uncomfortable plane ride, and a terrifying trip in a taxi, I was finally in Bella's neighborhood in Phoenix. By the time all was said and done, it was well into the afternoon, and I figured that the high schools had probably already let out for the day. I gave my cab driver the address to the school anyway, just to check if they were still there.

When I got there, I saw buses lined up outside the school, and I hoped I wasn't too late. I waited, trying to blend in with the large crowd of lingering students, hoping to catch sight of Bella, but I never saw her. I didn't know what Riley looked like, so I was holding on to hope that maybe he would be with her, or maybe even Emmett.

After another half-hour and a ton of mounting frustration, I moved around to the back of the school and located the football field. Once there, I was elated to see that there was a practice going on. I knew Riley was on the football team, because that's how he and Emmett knew each other.

I froze when I saw Bella, who was sitting on the bleachers close to the field. She had a book in her hands, and she looked magnificent. She was happy, young, and beautiful, with the shining Arizona sun lighting up the red highlights in her hair.

Staying out of sight, I just watched her. She was intently reading her book, but every now and then she would look out onto the field and then flush a beautiful shade of red, before returning to the pages. After a while, one of the players approached the fence that separated her from the field and began talking to her. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the way Bella was blushing and smiling shyly, I knew that I had found him- Riley. A fleeting pang of jealousy ran through me as I watched them interact, but it passed when I remembered how he would hurt her.

Now I just had to wait.

The practice ran for another hour, then the team disappeared into the locker room. Bella remained on the bleachers, probably waiting for Emmett, or maybe Riley. It physically hurt to let her out of my sight again, but I needed to intercept Riley before it was too late.

I waited outside the doors of the gym until people started to emerge. When Riley came out, he was thankfully alone, so I called out to him. "Riley!" I called and waved, as if I knew him well.

"What? Do I know you?" he asked, turning towards me.

"No, but I know you," I hissed menacingly. "Listen to me. I know what you're doing with Bella, and it ends now."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Trying to get on her good side so that Emmett will like you a little more? You're pathetic."

"Fuck you, geek," he muttered, walking away, shaking his head. I wasn't done.

"Stop and fucking listen to me," I hissed, grabbing his arm, trying not to make a scene. "I will tell Emmett what you're up to and he _will _kick your ass. I'd rather just settle this quietly, so leave her alone. Bella Swan is too good for you."

He scoffed at me. "Yeah, then who's she good enough for? You?"

When I didn't answer, he laughed out loud. "Oh, I get it. You want her, so you're trying to get me to back off. Nice try, dweeb."

"Look," I said angrily. "If there's one thing I know about Emmett Swan, is that there is nothing in this world that he loves more than his sister. He will do anything, and I mean _anything_ to protect her. This will be your only warning. Leave her the fuck alone."

He sized me up for a minute before backing off. "Whatever man, she's not worth the hassle."

Red clouded my vision as I told in his words. Without thinking, my hand shot out and I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him roughly towards me. He outweighed me by fifty pounds at least, but I caught him off guard and he stumbled forward before pushing me off him.

"Bella Swan is worth fucking everything, you got that? You better make up something good and leave her alone. Don't you dare say anything nasty to her, or make her think it's her fault, or I will be back, and next time with Emmett."

"Fine, fuck it," he muttered, turning and walking away. I followed him out to the parking lot, but at a distance, where Bella was waiting with a curious look. I wondered if this was the night he ended up taking her out and breaking her heart. It seemed as if she'd been waiting for him.

I watched as he leaned in and said something quietly to her. She frowned a little and asked him a question. He shrugged and shook his head. She smiled softly and nodded her head. He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek, then got in his car and left. I watched as Bella flagged down Emmett, who was just pulling out of the parking lot, and he stopped and let her in.

She didn't look sad, just disappointed, so I knew he'd actually listened to me and told her something to let her down easy. Full of relief and a terrific sense of accomplishment, I pulled out my phone and called for another cab, ready to take on my next task.

~~C.O.T.~~

Later that evening, I stood outside the Dwyer household, peering in the bay window that overlooked their dining room. The view was picturesque. The entire family was smiling and laughing as they sat around the dinner table. Bella sat across from Emmett, laughing at something he said, then when she wasn't looking he reached over and tried to snatch a dinner roll from her plate. She laughed and smacked his hand away playfully.

I watched as Bella's mother, Renee, started to clear the dishes, still wearing an apron, and shared a loving kiss with Phil. Bella and Emmett were chatting animated about something, and everyone just looked so alive, and well, and happy. I'd never seen Bella look so content and peaceful.

Watching their loving family dinner was the final thing that I needed to convince me that what I was about to do was the right thing. I needed to keep Phil from traveling with his baseball team. With Riley presumably out of the picture, Phil traveling would be the only thing that would drive Bella and Emmett from Phoenix. I needed to stop that from happening, and there was only one surefire way I could think to do it. I was dreading it, but it had to be done.

I slept outside despite the chilly desert weather, but only for a couple of hours. When I awoke it was the middle of the night. After checking that nobody was watching, I identified the car that was Phil's, which was easily identifiable by his athletic bag in the backseat, and his team logo bumper sticker in the rear windshield. I crawled underneath the car and waited, clutching a cold metal object in my hand.

The sun was just starting to rise when I finally heard him quietly opening the front door. I listened as the automatic doors of the car unlocked with a soft beep. I clutched the object in my hand- a long metal pipe- and waited.

As soon as I could see his feet next to the driver's door, I reared back and swung as hard as I could, which was no easy task given my awkward position. I knew that I managed to make contact, because as the metal pipe crashed into his ankle, I could hear a sharp crack, and then he cried out in agony.

I didn't want to hurt him, but I had to injure him enough to keep him from playing baseball for a while. A shattered ankle would surely keep him out for the rest of the season, maybe longer. When I watched his body crumple to the ground in pain, I rolled out the other side of the car and began to run. He wasn't chasing me- he couldn't.

I ran until I couldn't breathe anymore, my chest on fire. I stopped and collapsed on the ground, panting and gasping for air.

Despite knowing that it was necessary, I couldn't believe what I had done. I was a monster, there was no doubt about that anymore. When I finally looked up and took notice of my surroundings, I knew that I was completely lost. I saw a gas station at the corner and ducked out of sight behind it. I fell to my knees, then vomited forcefully onto the pavement. As I listened to the sirens in the distance, I kept trying to remind myself that Phil's broken ankle would be a temporary pain, enough to keep him in Phoenix for a while, and then Bella wouldn't have to move to Forks to face her ultimate death.

The mantra I kept repeating in my head, _"This was for Bella", _helped little as my stomach continued to churn in disgust over what I had just done. My hands were shaking violently as I reached into my pocket and pulled out Aro's panic switch. It took me several tries to accurately push the button, and when I did, I instantly wished I hadn't.

A sharp pain invaded my skull, making my brain feel like it was literally going to explode. The pain was blinding. I couldn't see anything but sharp, painful lights behind my eyelids. I began to convulse, my entire body shaking and trembling, and then there was nothing.

_This is the end, _I thought, as I faded into the darkness.

~~C.O.T.~~

Disoriented, I awoke in what I recognized as a hospital room. As soon as I realized where I was, I closed my eyes tight again, afraid to know what had happened. My mind was fuzzy, and I was having trouble remembering anything.

"Edward?" a soft voice asked. I knew I recognized the voice, but I wasn't sure how it was even possible. After she called my names a few more times, I reluctantly opened my eyes.

Her tears shone in her eyes like glistening diamonds, as her face morphed from one of distress into a brilliant smile. She was hovering over me, and she was standing. Her eyes were bright and lively as she gazed down at me. It was as if she were an angel, watching over me. It was my Bella- the twenty-one year old version of Bella- standing over my bed, staring at me in concern.

"Edward," she whispered, her voice ringing and angelic. "You're awake."

My first instinct was to bring my hand to her face, to see if I could touch her, to make sure this was real. As I reached for her, my memories assaulted me, and I pulled back my hand roughly.

"No!" I shouted. "You can't be here! What the hell are you doing here?"

* * *

A/N- reviews are always appreciated! I'll update as soon as I can. I can't promise it will be next Thursday, but I promise I'll try my hardest. Thanks for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

"_No!" I shouted. "You can't be here! What the hell are you doing here?"_

I was caught completely off guard when Bella didn't even blink an eye. "It's okay, Edward," she said softly. "The doctor said you might be a little confused when you woke up, but you're going to be okay now. I'm here for you." She grabbed my hand and squeezed it, and it felt soft and comforting. Just for a moment, I was glad she was there.

I swallowed hard, my mouth feeling like sandpaper. "But you're not supposed to be here."

"Where else would I be?" she asked sweetly.

I opened my mouth to answer her, then thought better of it. Besides, it hurt to talk. "Water?" I croaked.

"Let me check with the nurse," she said, reaching over to the armchair that was pulled up next to my bed. I noticed a pillow and several wrinkled blankets on it. Had she been sleeping here? How long was I out?

I watched as she pushed the call button, then settled it next to me. "I suppose you can have this back now," she told me. She chuckled quietly. "Every now and then you'd wake up and start pressing it like a lifeline, driving the staff crazy. I had to take it away from you."

Irritation built in my core as I struggled to make sense of the situation. What memories I did have were jumbled and foggy, and I couldn't recall at all how I landed in the hospital. As I struggled to make sense of my situation, a nurse came in and checked me over. She shined a light in my eyes that annoyed me to no end, then made me squeeze her hands and wiggle my toes. When I passed her tests to her satisfaction, she turned her attention to my head and I felt a pulling sensation. "Relax," she told me. "I'm just checking your dressing."

"Dressing?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "Of course you probably don't remember. You were admitted here about a week ago. You had a seizure and they found a brain tumor. It's been removed. I'll tell you what- let me page Dr. Aro for you since you're awake, and he can fill you in, okay?"

"Dr. Aro?" I asked frowning. That name sounded so familiar, but I couldn't quite place it.

"Dr. Aro Volutri," she answered. "He's our top neurologist, but he prefers to be called by his first name. You actually called out for him a couple of times while you were sleeping." She handed Bella a cup with a spoon in it. "Just give him a few of these for now until Aro comes up to check on him, okay?"

Bella nodded gratefully, and held the spoon up to my lips as the nurse exited. I sucked an ice chip into my mouth and reveled at the cooling sensation, which instantly began to ebb the burn in the back of my throat. "Thanks," I whispered.

"You're going to be okay," Bella assured me, sensing my distress. "I promise. We're in this together, alright?"

"I'm so confused," I admitted to her.

"Aro said it's important that you piece together your memories on your own. There was a lot of medical jargon in what he was telling us, but he said to be patient and let you try to remember. I texted your parents by the way, to let them know you're awake. They're on the way up."

"Thanks," I said, groaning in frustration as I tried to fight my way through the empty space in my memory.

"Are you in pain?" Bella asked concerned, her hand hovering over the call light.

"No, I'm just so foggy. I wish I could remember something."

"Well, what is the last thing you remember?" she asked, holding out another ice chip for me. I sucked it in gratefully, and as I let it melt in my mouth, I tried to remember.

"You were in a wheelchair," I answered finally. Flashes of her slipping on the wet rocks of the La Push cliffs assaulted me. I winced as I watched her face contort into pure fear as she began to fall towards the water. I remembered pushing my own fears aside as I jumped in after her, and then Jacob and I frantically searching for her. I saw her floating lifelessly, snagged on a rock, face down in the water.

Bella was frowning deeply. "That's the last thing you remember? Me being in a wheelchair?"

I nodded.

"But that was like... four years ago. You don't remember anything after that?"

"No, I do. I just can't explain it," I said warily, suddenly afraid she'd think I was crazy. Maybe I was. I thought quietly to myself, and tried to remember. Bella was in a wheelchair, but it wasn't four years ago. It was in college and she was still in a wheelchair. Then I left her, but I went back to Aro. I fixed it!

Everything started to come back to me. Aro wasn't my neurologist, he was my physics professor.

I winced as a sharp pain filled my head. Images assaulted me- speeding vans, time machines, elevators, alleys. My mind was jumbled with all the images, unable to process what was real and what was not.

My limbs started to tingle, and even though I was laying down, I felt dizzy. I could feel myself slowly losing control as my limbs started to shake without my permission. I wondered to myself as I slipped back into unconsciousness... _was anything real?_

~~C.O.T.~~

When I came to again, I could hear the whispered voices of my parents somewhere near my bed.

"Carlisle, it's been hours," my mother cried, though staying quiet. "What if he doesn't wake up?"

"It's alright," my father assured her. "Aro said that there might be more seizures. They're adjusting his medication."

"But Bella said when he woke up, he was practically incoherent. He said the last thing he remembered was her being in a wheelchair, but that was so long ago! What if that is the last thing he remembers- so many years of his life gone? I just can't bear it!" Quiet sobs emerged from her, and I heard my father's soft reassurances, though I couldn't make out his words.

With every word that my mother spoke, I could hear her heart breaking. I needed to reassure her that I would be fine, even if I wasn't so sure myself. My memories were still hazy, and there were so many different versions of the past swirling in my head that I couldn't make heads or tails of what was real and what wasn't. I knew that Aro had helped me to alter the past, but I couldn't even figure out what version of the present I was in. I needed to speak to him, find out why he was posing as my doctor. I needed to find out what the hell was going on.

But first, I needed to reassure my mother. It wasn't fair to her to suffer for my stupid mistakes- my careless altering of the past which no doubt led me to the very bed I was lying in.

"Mom?" I groaned, wincing against the harsh light as my eyes fluttered open. "Don't cry."

"Oh, my baby!" she exclaimed, rushing to the head of my bed. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," I whispered, unable to bring any volume to my voice.

"Oh, dear, you must need some water. Carlisle?"

"On it, dear," he said, and I could hear relief in his voice.

"How are you feeling, dear?" she asked anxiously. "Your father and I have been so worried."

"Um... groggy, I guess. Confused," I answered. Looking around to see that we were alone in the room, I asked, "Where's Bella?"

"Alice took her down to the cafeteria. She didn't want to leave you, though. She's been here every day. She loves you so much."

"I love her too," I admitted. No matter what version of reality I was in, that was the one undeniable truth. I loved Isabella Swan.

My father returned with the water then, and I gulped it down greedily just as soon as the straw hit my lips. I felt instantly better as the burn in my throat once again started to ebb.

"Better?" mom asked me.

"Much. Thank you."

"I called Aro," my father told us. "He'll be up soon to check on you."

"Okay," I murmured, still skeptical as to why the man I knew as my physics professor was now posing as my doctor. I hoped to get him alone for a few minutes. I needed to ask him some questions.

"So, Edward," dad asked, his tone turning clinical. "Bella told me something that was a little concerning."

"Oh?"

"She said the last thing you remembered was her being in a wheelchair. I'm concerned because that was so long ago."

"It wasn't that long ago," I argued, without thinking through my words. "She was- we were- in college. She was wheeling herself around campus. Her chair got stuck, I helped her."

"No, Edward. Bella was in a wheelchair in high school, but only for about a month. Try to remember."

I thought hard, but was coming up mostly blank. I remembered some things, but I wasn't sure if what I was remembering was real. I closed my eyes and thought about it, bringing forth the only clear memory I could muster.

"We were at the cliffs in La Push. Jacob and his friends were cliff diving..."

"Right..." my father said encouragingly, urging me to continue.

"One of them threw Jacob off the edge, but it was just a joke. Bella got scared and leaned over to see if he was okay. She slipped and fell into the water."

"Good, Edward. That's right."

"I jumped in after her, but I couldn't get to her. She breathed in a lot of water. Jacob revived her. Then Bella told me that she couldn't feel her legs..." I chocked out the last words, the memory of her distress almost to painful to bear. "She severed her spinal cord," I said at last, a tear slipping from my eye.

"No, Edward," my angel said from the doorway. "I _fractured_ my spinal cord. I'm okay, see?" she wiggled one of her legs out in front of her for effect, showing me that she could move.

I grew increasingly frustrated. How could my memory be so convoluted? How could I remember some things, and not all? What was real and what wasn't?

"But you were in a wheelchair!" I argued.

"I was, but only for about a month, while my spine healed. You came to visit me at the rehab every day. You brought me my homework and helped me with it. You... you told me you loved me there for the first time, right before I was discharged."

"But you pushed me away when I tried to visit..."

"Only for the first couple of days," she chuckled. "But you were adorable... and relentless. I couldn't keep you away." She choked up then, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "I'm so glad I didn't."

My father, ever the diagnostician, turned back to me, trying to assess me more. "What else do you remember?"

After thinking for a few moments, I exclaimed "The van!"

"What van, Edward?" my father urged.

"Tyler Crowley's van. It swerved out of control and hit you!" I exclaimed, pointing at Bella. "You... you're not supposed to be here!"

Bella frowned deeply, concern marring her features, but she kept her voice steady. "Edward... that van never hit me. It hit my truck, but I got out of the way. It scared the hell out of me, but you were there to comfort me. Don't you remember?"

I shook my head slowly, not sure of anything anymore.

"I have a theory," Carlisle interjected, after the room was silent for a few moments. "May I?"

"Of course," I muttered, rolling my eyes. I wasn't in the mood for his doctoring at present. In fact, I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to just be alone.

"First of all, you need to know why you're here, and I'm sorry I didn't even think to explain it to you before. It might help to clear up some confusion. Edward, do you remember how you got here?"

I shook my head slowly, irritated.

"You had a seizure, and you were bleeding from your ear. Bella, Jasper, and Emmett were there in your dorm room. Jasper was going to drive you back to Forks to see me, but you went unconscious, and they called 911. They brought you here instead."

"Where is_ here_?" I asked.

The university hospital in Seattle. Thank goodness they did, because they have an excellent neurosurgeon on staff, Dr. Volturi. After some scans, they found that you had several small brain tumors, and one very large one, pressing right on the area where your memories are stored. That's probably why you are so confused. Dr. Volturi was able to operate and remove the large tumor, but there was some scarring and damage. We knew there was a risk that when you woke up, that you wouldn't remember anything at all. So truly, the fact that you are remembering pieces is encouraging."

"But it seems like he's remembering everything worse than how it really happened," Bella interrupted. "Why?"

"Well, excuse me for saying this, but Bella, your relationship with Edward has been pretty rocky recently, to say the least."

I didn't know what he was talking about, but Bella's sad eyes and barely visible head nod confirmed what he was saying.

"So my theory is that perhaps Edward's brain was registering his memories as if you were gone- as if you had left him."

"Oh, Edward..." she whispered, the tears finally brimming over. "I'm so sorry."'

"You were going to leave me?" I asked in a tiny voice.

"I was... but then you were admitted here, and I thought I was going to lose you. I really put things into perspective, Edward. I just can't be without you."

"So... none of it ever happened? The van?" she shook her head. "You were never paralyzed?" Again, she shook her head. "Then what happened in Port Angeles... that never happened either?"

Her face grew sad, and she sniffled. Suddenly she turned her face into my mother's shoulder and let out a violent sob. My stomach lurched, and for a moment I thought I would be sick.

"That _did_ happen? Bella, my God, I'm so sorry. But you survived... those men... those horrible men..." I gasped.

Bella peered up at me from her mother's shoulder, clearly confused, her face red from her crying and the tears flowing harder now. "Oh, Edward... no... I mean, _yes_ it happened, but not to me, baby."

As I tried to make sense of Bella's words, a hazy memory fluttered into my head, but it wasn't making any sense. It _couldn't_ make any sense. It just wasn't possible.

I remembered the night before I met Aro, when Rosalie was upset with me for delving back into my studies on time travel... only it wasn't Rosalie who was upset with me. It was someone else.

_The ceaseless pounding on my dorm room door made me groan out loud in frustration. I was too busy for this now, in the middle of a complicated problem. My bed was awash in loose papers and textbooks, my side of the room in complete disarray. The general state of disrepair in my room made it no place for company, not that I cared much. I was on the verge of something big._

_"Busy!" I muttered, not sure if I was loud enough for them to hear. I stuck my graphite pencil between my teeth and ground down hard on what little yellow paint was left on it. It was my way of trying to focus, a habit I'd had since…_

_Well it was a habit I didn't care enough about to try to break._

_The door opened regardless, and my roommate, Jasper, stuck his head in the door. At least he tried to respect my boundaries. He'd agreed to stay out of the room for the evening, and he was supposed to be staying with his girlfriend Alice so that I could study. Of course the people who had conned him into opening the door for them had no such respect for boundaries._

_The door swung open, and there stood my girlfriend, Bella, and her brother, both with their arms crossed in irritation. They both looked at me expectantly._

_Bella and I had met during our junior year of high school. She was a mid year transfer, along with her brother. After an awkward first encounter, we became fast friends, and eventually she became my girlfriend. Her brother and I became good friends over the years, but lately, my relationship with both of them had been strained._

_I'd always been interested in time-travel. I loved all the science fiction books, and I studied the different theories. The more I learned through my studies in physics, the more obsessed I became. I began to distance myself from my friends, and even from Bella. In fact, things between us were so strained, she'd even threatened to leave me. In a last-ditch effort to save our relationship, I promised her I would go out with her and her brother tonight, but I just couldn't. I was finally on the verge of doing something great, proving a theory, and ultimately saving my sister, Rosalie._

_Rosalie and I were "Irish twins," just three hundred sixty days apart. Despite our closeness in age, she was my complete opposite. While I was shy and awkward, she was loud and boisterous. She was tall and blonde, and I was average, lanky, and redheaded. While I preferred to study, she preferred to party._ _And she was gone now, her life taken by the worst kind of man, Royce King. If only I could find a way to go back, to prevent him from ever being in her life. _

_I'd kill him if I had to. I'd gladly do it myself._

_"Come on, Edward," Emmett said gently. "You promised you'd come out with us tonight. You have to leave this room sometime."_

_"I do leave the room," I muttered, keeping my eyes fixed on the notes in front of me. They had interrupted my train of thought, and with much irritation, I feared I would have to start over._

_"Going to class doesn't count. Come on, let's go."_

_"Just go on without me," I insisted, glancing up at them with a pleading look. "Maybe next time."_

_Bella frowned then, her expression turned from one of annoyance, to one of concern. "Edward… what are you working on?" she asked tentatively, eyeing the notes across the bed._

_"I'm on the verge of something big," I told her absently, sparing her only a fleeting glance. "I can fix this."_

_A tear escaped from the corner of Bella's eye, as she worried for me. It was the same thing, every time we talked about my work. "Edward, I thought we got past this. You can't fix this. You can't change the past. I've told you before, we can't keep doing this. I need you, and I hardly see you anymore. Please..."_

_"Edward, man," Emmett said, shaking his head. "I still don't understand. The people who love you are standing right here. I know you loved your sister, but you can't keep obsessing over her death. It was tragic. I mean, I think I loved her too, even though I hardly knew her. I understand, but we cannot change it."_

_I clenched my fist, the already abused pencil snapping in two from the pressure. "Shut up," I growled, jumping to my feet, feeling the blood rush to my face as I seethed in anger._

_"Edward, I'm going to call your father. You can't keep doing this! It's not healthy" Bella cried, more tears escaping._

_"You don't need to fucking call him!" I shouted. "I'm fucking fine. I've almost got it!"_

_"Edward, first of all, if you ever speak to my sister like that again, I will kick your ass. Secondly… you're delusional," Emmett interjected. "It's time someone told you that. You can't go back and change what happened. I mean, look at what you're doing to yourself- to Bella! You. Cannot. Change. This."_

_"I have to," I said, leaving no room in my tone for argument._

_Emmett frowned, wrapping his arm around a still crying Bella and rubbing her back gently. "Just tell me why," he said. "It was four years ago. You've got to let this go."_

_"You don't fucking understand!" I shouted, getting right into Emmett's face. Even if he was a good five inches taller than me, and twice my size, he no longer intimidated me. I had nothing to lose now._

_Emmett growled under his breath, but managed to keep his voice steady. "You think I don't understand?" he asked through gritted teeth. "If I had lost my sister, don't you think I would give anything… everything… to bring her back?"_

_Bella's sob caused them both to turn their attention to her, my rage subsiding as I took in her trembling form. I saw then how much I was hurting her._

_"I'm sorry, Bella," I admitted, knowing I needed to watch my temper around her. "I'm just not in the mood to go out tonight, okay? Maybe next time."_

_"Yeah," she muttered. "Next time. Just take care of yourself, Edward."_

_I wrapped my arms tentatively around her. As she hugged me back, her cheek pressed against mine, and I could feel wetness between our faces. I sighed when I realized she was still crying._

_"Edward!" she gasped in horror as she pulled away. I noticed that the cheek that had been pressed to mine was now smeared with a trail of blood. "Shit! Call 911!" she exclaimed frantically_

_"Is he having a seizure?" Jasper asked, his voice laced with panic. I heard the faint sound of buttons on a cell phone being dialed. I didn't even realize he was still here. What on earth would make him think I was having a seizure? I was still upright, for goodness sake._

_"His ear is bleeding!" Bella cried, her voice coming out as a strangled sob. "What the hell is going on?"_

_I put my hand up to my ear and was surprised to feel that the moisture I'd felt on my cheek was actually blood. "Relax guys, I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt. I must have punctured my eardrum somehow. I'll go to the hospital to see Dad. It will be fine."_

_"Let me drive you?" Jasper asked insistently._

_"Yeah, okay. I promise that I'm alright though." I rolled my eyes internally at their panic. I knew it wasn't exactly normal to have blood tricking from one's ear, but I felt fine, with only a slight headache to indicate anything was wrong._

_As we left for the hospital, my thoughts turned immediately back towards my work._

"Where is Rosie?" I asked my mother sharply.

"What?" she asked, her face falling. I could see her hands shaking.

"You heard me," I snapped. "Where the fuck is Rosalie?"

The silence told me what I needed to know.

_It wasn't Bella. It was never Bella._

"Oh, God," I groaned, my head beginning to pound. "Emmett was never there to save her. How could I have been so fucking stupid?"

"Edward, what in the world are you talking about? What does Emmett have to do with any of this?" my mother asked, tears flowing down her face.

"Rosalie. He was supposed to save her! He was supposed to fucking save her!"

* * *

A/N- The story is winding down now, and I promise that things will make sense soon. If you are confused or have any questions, please feel free to PM me or ask me in a review, and I promise to respond. Until next time, thanks for reading!


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 19**

_**Previously...**_

"_Oh, God," I groaned, my head beginning to pound. "Emmett was never there to save her. How could I have been so fucking stupid?" _

"_Edward, what in the world are you talking about? What does Emmett have to do with any of this?" my mother asked, tears flowing down her face._

"_Rosalie. He was supposed to save her! He was supposed to fucking save her!"_

* * *

A powerful sob emerged from my mother's chest, and she rose and left the room quickly. My father stayed behind, though his eyes were darting back and forth from me to the door, debating on whether to go after her.

"Oh, Edward. I'm sorry that we have to go through this again- I truly am- but your sister is gone. Emmett had nothing to do with it, though."

I turned to look at Bella with wide eyes. "When did you come to Forks?" I demanded, sharper than I intended.

She frowned in confusion, but answered me anyway. "Sometime in March of my Junior year. Why?"

"Was Emmett with you?" I asked frantically.

"Yes," she answered patiently.

"Do you remember going to a party? It was a welcome party for you and your brother. It was at my house, do you remember?"

"Yes, Edward, but I don't understand what you're getting at."

"Royce attacked Rosalie, in her bedroom, right?"

"Yes, and Emmett intervened..." Bella said carefully.

I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. I didn't prevent Emmett from saving Rosalie from Royce at the party.

_So then what the hell happened in Port Angeles?_

It didn't take much longer for the memory to assault me, images dancing behind my eyelids like flashing lights. I feared I was going to have another seizure, but my limbs weren't tingling this time. It was just a memory coming back to me- one that I never wanted to relive.

_It was the same night in Port Angeles that I remembered previously, but something was different. I had a date with Bella, except she wasn't the one that never showed at the restaurant- it was Rosalie._

_I was really nervous about my first date. Rosalie and Alice helped me to get ready, just as I remembered before. However, Rosalie also had a date that night, and we were going to the same restaurant, though we weren't doubling._

_I was covering for Rosalie again, against my better judgment. She was going out with Royce, who had recently been released from jail on bail, in an effort to talk things out. I knew it was a bad idea, and we argued at length, but in the end I agreed to cover for her, just as I always did._

_It was a decision I would regret for the rest of my life. _

_I went along with the story that Rosalie was going out with Alice. Alice wasn't in on the plan; she would have never agreed to it. I knew then that Rosalie was acting foolishly, yet I did nothing to stop her. Rosalie managed to convince me that if she went to the same restaurant as Bella and I, we could call for help if anything went wrong. It seemed like an okay idea at the time, but I was so wrong._

_Maybe it was because I was so nervous about my own date, or so enraptured by how beautiful Bella looked when she met me at the restaurant, but I never noticed that Rosalie hadn't showed. It was about halfway through our awkward first-date conversation that Bella asked me, "Wasn't your sister supposed to be here tonight, too?"_

_I looked around the restaurant quickly, then got up and walked over to the bar to search for her, but neither she nor Royce were anywhere to be found. I frowned and pulled out my cell phone and dialed her number, but there was no answer. I started to panic._

"_Edward, what's wrong?" A familiar voice asked me. I looked up to find Angela Weber peering through her cat-eye glasses at me with concerned eyes. A bored looking Jessica Stanley was standing behind her._

_I could feel my throat close and my chest begin to tighten- the telltale signs of an impending panic attack._

"_Edward, what is it?" Bella asked, coming up behind me, and putting a comforting hand on my shoulder._

_I held the phone out to her and gasped, "No answer."_

_She frowned and gently plucked the phone from my hands, and then tried to call Rosalie again. Still no answer._

"_I saw her just a little while ago at the dress shop. We were there with Bella, then we decided to come here to eat. She was still there when we left," Angela said helpfully. _

"_Alright, I'll start there, thanks."_

_Back at the table, I threw a handful of cash down to cover the bill. Bella gathered her purse and coat without a word. "I'm sorry to cut our date short..." I started to say._

"_Don't worry about it. I'm worried too..." Bella said softly, fidgeting nervously. "Let's just go to the dress shop and see if she's still there."_

_I took a deep breath and nodded before quickly ushering Bella out to my car. I drove to the shop as fast as I dared, and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Rosalie's BMW still parked outside. We went inside, and Bella checked the fitting rooms while I spoke to the clerk. She told me that she did see someone that matched my sister's description, but she had left almost twenty minutes ago. I cursed under my breath and thanked her, and Bella and I went back outside._

_My phone rang and I picked it up quickly. "Rosalie?" I asked frantically._

"_No, it's Angela. I was just checking to see if you found her yet."_

"_No, she's not here. I'm really worried."_

"_Alright, we're going to come help you look. Are you still at the dress shop?"_

"_Yeah, I guess I'll drive around and look for her," I said._

"_We'll do the same. I'll call you if we see her."_

"_Thanks, Angela," I said, ignoring the sound of Jessica whining about how she was 'starving' in the background. "I really appreciate it."_

"_Maybe you should call your parents to see if they've heard from her?" Bella suggested, biting her lower lip nervously._

_I knew she was right. They needed to know what was going on. "They're going to kill me," I muttered as I dialed the phone._

"_Edward?" my father answered. "Is everything okay? I thought you were on a date."_

"_I was. Listen, Dad, have you heard from Rosalie this evening?"_

"_No, why?"_

"_She was supposed to be at the same restaurant I took Bella to, but she never showed. She's not picking up her phone."_

"_Well, did you check with Alice?"_

"_That's the thing, Dad. She's not out with Alice. She went out with Royce."_

_There was a painful silence on the other end of the phone, that seemed to last forever. Then finally, he broke the silence by bellowing into the phone, "_What do you mean she's out with Royce?"

"_I'm sorry, Dad. I should have told you. She asked me not to."_

"_Son of a bitch! I am so fucking angry with both of you right now, but we'll talk about that later. Where are you?" he demanded._

"_Outside a dress store in Port Angeles."_

"_I'm already on my way there. Charlie and I were going out bowling. We'll call you when we get into town. You better start looking for her. _Right. Fucking. Now._"_

"_Yes, sir," I agreed. "I already am."_

_I knew he had every right to be angry with me. I always hated to disappoint him, but I tried to push that out of my mind as we continued to search for my sister. After driving around for more than fifteen minutes, we pulled back around to the dress shop, and Rosalie's car was still there. I saw Angela's silver Honda pull up behind me, and I got out to greet her. "No sign of her?" I asked._

"_No, not yet. I'm sorry."_

_Jessica got out of the passenger side in a huff. "This is such a waste of time," she whined. "Rosalie and Royce are probably just fucking in an alley somewhere."_

_I ignored her tone, as I usually did, but she gave me an idea. "Alley!" I exclaimed. "We didn't' check the alleys."_

_"Maybe we should split up," Angela suggested._

_I vetoed that idea immediately. It was already dark, and I liked Angela too much to let her wander off unescorted._

_"We should probably stick together. You ready?"_

_"We're walking?" Jessica asked, her voice shrill and whiney. "But my feet already hurt from walking around in these heels."_

_"It's the best way to find her, if we walk the path she might have gone," Angela insisted. "We won't be able to see into the alleys from the car."_

_"Uh, whatever. I don't get why you two are so getting so dramatic because just because Rosalie is too busy to pick up the phone."_

_"Are you serious right now, Jessica? Why are you being such a bitch?" I demanded, stalking off in the direction I would have assumed Rosalie might have taken._

_"Oh, fuck you geek," she muttered. I had some choice words for her, but I didn't have time for that. I couldn't believe how cold-hearted she was being, but I would save that argument for another day._

_"Jessica, shut the hell up and look for her," Angela commanded. "I can't believe you just said that." _

_We walked for about fifteen minutes in one direction, ignoring Jessica's protests that it was cold and that her feet hurt. We turned down every alley, every side street, and checked in every open shop to see if anybody had seen her. When we reached the restaurant, we turned around and headed back the way we came, retracing all our steps in case we missed something._

_When we made it back to the dress shop again, I motioned in the other direction. "We should check that way," I panted, out of breath from the frantic walking we had done._

_"There's no reason for her to have gone that way. That whole street is abandoned," Angela said._

_"Maybe she went the wrong direction. It's worth a shot."_

_Bella nodded in agreement. "Charlie and your dad should be here soon," she said. "They'll help us."_

_About two blocks from the bookstore, we turned down an alley, and Angela stooped to pick up something on the ground. "It's a shoe. It looks like something Rosalie would buy. Do you think it could be hers? It looks new- the tag is still on it."_

_"Maybe," I pondered, my eyes scanning the alley. There weren't any streetlights on this block, and it was getting difficult to see. "Let's keep looking."_

_We kept walking down the alley, looking for more clues, and staying close together._

_As we searched, Jessica's piercing scream rang out through the darkness. Her hand shook violently as she pointed at a dumpster a few yards away. Then I saw it, a pair of legs sticking out from behind it._

_I ran as fast as my feet could carry me, all while hoping- praying- that it wasn't Rosalie._

_But as soon as we approached the body, I knew in my heart immediately it was her, even though I couldn't see her face. Her hair was matted and caked with blood. She was lying on her face, and her clothes had been completely stripped from her body. There was no sign of life, and as I reached out to gingerly touch her, her body was ice cold and stiff._

_I had to be sure. Fighting back tears in my eyes so I could see for myself the face of my sister, I rolled her over and immediately covered her bare body with my coat, and I saw her eyes. It was definitely her, and her eyes were frozen open, wide in terror. There was blood, so much blood, covering every inch of her, wide gashes across her abdomen. She'd been cut._

_"No…" I gasped. "No… Rosalie!" I screamed into the night._

I gasped aloud and looked frantically around the hospital room. The memory was so real, and so similar to what happened the first time Aro took me back in time, yet it was all wrong- backwards. _Was that really what happened?_

"I need to talk to Aro," I told my father, looking him directly in the eyes. "Now. Please."

"Alright, I'll call him for you," my father agreed. As he exited, cell phone in hand, Bella scooted closer to my bed, and laid her head down close to me. As I lay in silence, I tried to recall the rest of my memories.

I remembered that the following Monday, after we found Rosalie's body, my parents were shocked to find me dressed and ready for school. My father was angry with me, and we weren't on speaking terms. My mother hadn't stopped crying the whole weekend. Couple that with the endless stream of well-wishers, and I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I needed to get away from the tension in the house. I was so busy walking on eggshells around everyone that I never even got the chance to grieve for my sister myself.

It was that day at school that Bella had the near miss with Tyler's van. He skidded on the ice, coming very close to hitting her, and terrifying the hell out of her. She and I cut the rest of the day. I comforted her from her near death experience, and she comforted me for the loss of my sister. We were inseparable for the next few years. We shared all of our firsts- our first kiss, our first time making love, our first time away from home. I stayed with her when she had her accident on the cliffs, then we went to college together. It was only recently that we started to drift apart, when I started becoming obsessed with the idea that I could go back in time and save my sister. I spent less and less time with her, told her I loved her less, paid attention to her less.

This was my current reality. My sister was dead, and Bella was very near breaking up with me. I had a brain tumor removed, and I'm currently in the hospital.

Everything seemed so very real now, but the memories I had of my time with Aro, traveling through time, they also seemed real too.

It felt like hours before he finally knocked on the door. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him, and turned to Bella. "Bella, could you leave us, just for a few minutes?"

She looked instantly hurt. "Um... sure... okay," she stammered.

I grabbed her hand as she turned to leave. "Bella, I love you. I'm just really confused, and I need to figure things out in my head. But in all of this, all of these jumbled thoughts in my head, I know that despite how awful I've been to you recently, I love you, and that will never change. I'm going to make this right for you... for us."

She leaned down and kissed me tenderly on the lips, and I breathed her calming essence. "Don't keep me waiting too long," she whispered.

"I won't," I promised.

She left and shut the door quietly behind her. 'Doctor' Aro was wearing a crisp white lab coat, and he peered at me clinically before introducing himself. "I'm Dr. Aro. It's good to see you awake. Your incision is healing nicely. I heard you had another seizure, though. I've already started to adjust your meds. We'll just need to take it a day at a time."

"What the hell did you do to me?" I hissed at him.

His brow furrowed slightly. "Mr. Cullen, you had a brain tumor, which I successfully removed. However..."

"Don't 'Mr. Cullen,' me. You know what I'm talking about."

"Edward, I assure you, that I don't know what you're referring to. It's normal to have periods of confusion when waking from a surgery of this magnitude. Are you having trouble recalling your memories?"

"No, I'm recalling them perfectly. And I remember _you_."

"You may have seen me as you were in and out of consciousness. I've been here frequently over the last few days. Perhaps your mind is manifesting me as someone else?"

"Get out," I hissed at him. "If you're going to treat me like I'm stupid, then I don't want you here anymore!"

"Alright, Mr. Cullen. I can see that you're agitated, and that's not unexpected. I'm going to prescribe something for you to help you rest tonight, and if you need anything at all, have your father or your nurse give me a page, okay?"

"Whatever," I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest.

He left, and the door clicked softly behind him. When it opened again, I expected Bella or maybe my parents, but it was him again, this time without the lab coat. He was _smirking_ at me.

"Young Edward," he purred. "I hear you gave your doctor quite a mouthful!"

"What the fuck?" I asked him. "You were just here, acting like you didn't know who I was. What kind of game are you playing?"

He laughed darkly. "I'm surprised a smart young man like you hasn't figured it out yet. That man was your neurologist, Dr. Aro Volturi. I am- and always have been- someone else entirely."

"You look just like him. Who the hell are you?" I spat. "And what did you do to me?"

He began to pace around the room. More accurately, he was _floating._

"I can manifest myself into whatever form I choose. Dr. Aro was just as easy of a manifestation as anyone else, and somebody you were completely unfamiliar with."

"I'm really fucking confused right now," I mumbled, laying my head back against the pillow, fighting off a building headache.

"You see, young Edward, I chose to visit you specifically, because you have criticized my work for a long time. You even went so far as to try to openly defy me. You didn't appreciate those you had around you, so I decided to show you what it would be like if your loved ones were gone."

"What do you mean I criticized your work? I don't even know you!"

He ignored my question and continued. "How did it feel to see the other side of the coin? Bella was either dead or pushing you away. Your mother and father were so distant they hardly even knew you anymore. Charlie, who always supported you like he was a second father didn't even want you in his life, or around his daughter. And finally Emmett, your very best friend, whom you've done nothing but push away and ignore. How did it feel when he ignored you back?" he smirked again. "Or when he kicked your ass?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded, increasingly frustrated.

"All those times you went 'back'. Every scenario was carefully constructed by me to make you appreciate the things- and the people- that you _have_, and stop dwelling on the one I took from you. I'd say it was a lesson well learned." His expression darkened as he stared me down, and I felt my face pale.

"Who are you?" I asked carefully, in barely a whisper, as terror filled me to my very core.

His eyes were utterly lifeless as he stared me down. "I have many names, but you've always referred to me as the Angel of Death."

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A/N- One more chapter and then an epi- if you have any questions or any loose ends you need me to tie up in the next chapter, now's the time to ask! Thanks for reading, and please review :)


	21. Epilogue

**A/N- My apologies, I've been sick and unable to write. I know in the last update, I said that there would be another chapter before the epilogue, but I decided to end it with the last chapter. I hope you enjoy the end. Thank you all for your kind words, reviews, and support!**

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**Epilogue**

**10 Years Later**

I didn't ever want to move from the spot I woke up in. The woman next to me was so soft and warm, and she smelled like strawberries and vanilla and everything beautiful and comforting.

"Five more minutes," I protested, wrapping my arms tightly around her, as I felt her beginning to stir.

Bella chuckled softly, and snuggled into me. "No can do... we're being watched. Renesmee is awake."

I opened one eye and looked down towards the foot of the bed, where two identical redheads stared at me with big brown eyes, both giggling softly. Renee and Esme, named after their grandmothers, were born 5 years ago to the day, and their uncle Emmett affectionately dubbed them "Renesmee- the two headed monster." The nickname stuck.

"Hi daddy," Esme said sweetly, while her sister continued to giggle uncontrollably.

"Good morning," I grumbled.

"Do you know what today is?" Esme asked.

"Umm... Tuesday?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"No!" Renee squealed.

"Wednesday?"

"No!" they both squealed.

"Oh, it's Saturday!"

"And?" Renee asked excitedly, bouncing up and down on the foot of the bed.

I shrugged and made a show of laying back down, pretending to go back to sleep. They both pounced on me then and started to shake me. "Daddy!"

"Oh yeah! It's your birthday isn't it? How could I have forgotten?" I teased.

"You have to get up, Daddy!" Esme demanded. "Come on Mommy, you promised cake! And Uncle Emmy is coming. And Grandma and Grandpa and..."

"Alright, alright," Bella moaned. "Go to the living room, and we'll be there in a minute."

I heard the doorbell ring, and the girls jumped up excitedly. "Ask who it is first!" I reminded them, as I slowly sat on the side of the bed. A few seconds later, Emmett's booming voice filled the living room as he greeted the twins.

"He's got an early start today," I muttered.

"Not really, it's almost nine," Bella pointed out, as she reached for my crutches and handed them to me. She helped me to a standing position, and I slowly made my way to the bathroom, cursing myself for oversleeping.

It always took a while for me to get going in the morning. My battle with cancer had left some lingering side effects after the multiple surgeries, one of which was the inability to walk unaided. Though I still had most of my upper body strength, my lower body was weak, and always would be. Even the most mundane tasks- showering, brushing my teeth, getting dressed, took twice as long as they once would have, given my mobility issues.

Another unfortunate side effect, that actually ended up alright in the end, was that my constant hospitalization pushed college back for both Bella and me. Though I encouraged her to finish school and spend less time sleeping on uncomfortable hospital cots, she never left my side. She was my angel. When I was well enough, I ended up finishing college online, while Bella spent her time writing. She made enough money to support us early in our marriage by submitting articles freelance, then after the twins were born, she made a name for herself by publishing a series of children's books about the crazy antics of two hyperactive, red-headed twins. Suffice it to say, we were more than comfortable, and I spent my time caring for the girls, and also teaching a few science classes at the community college in Port Angeles. It took a while for me to come to terms with the fact that I was a stay-at-home-dad, despite the growing popularity of that role.

Nearly an hour later, I was finally ready to join my family downstairs, and saw that my parents had arrived as well. Charlie, Renee, Phil, Alice and Jasper were also due to join us, as well as about ten screaming five-year-olds from our daughter's preschool class.

"Hey Mom, Dad," I greeted, as I slowly made my way to the living room. My mother wrapped me in a hug and kissed me on the cheek, then my dad offered his hand. I made my way over to my favorite chair and sat down. "Anyone else here yet?" I asked. I could hear Bella puttering around the kitchen.

"Just Emmett. Alice and Jasper are on the way."

"Awesome. I haven't seen them in a while." Alice and Jasper were married right out of college, and stayed in Seattle. We usually saw them once a month, when Alice would drive back to Forks to visit her parents, but the visits had become more scarce, since Alice was now seven months pregnant with her first child. I was glad she was able to make the trip out for the girls birthday. The twins affectionately called her "Aunt Alice." Even though she wasn't related by blood, I'd come to see her as a sister, and we remained close.

"Before they come, I wanted to give you something," Mom said quietly, as she fished through her purse. "I found this when I was cleaning up upstairs, and I thought you'd might like to have it." She handed me a photograph. It was of my sister and me, taken on my first day of High School. I chuckled softly at the image, noting the stark contrast between us. She was bright and blonde and smiling radiantly, whereas I stood, all red-headed and lanky, my arms folded over my stomach as if trying to hold myself together.

"Thank you," I told my mother, my eyes never leaving the photograph.

"Who's that daddy?" Renee asked sweetly, crawling into my lap and effectively blocking my view of the photo. I was so engrossed in staring at the picture that I hadn't even heard her come in. I gently brushed her bronze curls aside so that I could see my sister's smiling face once again.

"That's your aunt Rosalie," I answered, brushing my fingers gingerly over the photo.

"Where is she? She's pretty, daddy."

"She was pretty," I agreed. "But she died a long time ago."

"Can she come back and play with us?"

Before I could answer, my mind betrayed me and returned to the scene of a much darker time.

_"I have many names, but you've always referred to me as the Angel of Death." _

_I swallowed hard as I processed what he'd just told me. "So, have you come for me then?" I asked with trepidation._

"_You have not yet fulfilled your purpose on this earth, so no. You were on a destructive path, and my brothers and I saw just cause to intervene."_

"_Your brothers?" I asked, knowing he was referencing Caius and Marcus, but having no idea who – or what - they were. _

"_Angels as well," he clarified, as both glided into the room._

"_What have you done to me? Did any of that really happen?"_

"_Did it feel real to you?" he asked vaguely._

"_Very."_

"_Then we've done our job," he answered, turning to leave. His brothers followed silently behind._

"_Wait!" I cried, realizing this might be the last time I saw him, my last opportunity for answers. "What am I supposed to do now?"_

"_Follow your heart, and you'll be just fine," Marcus answered._

"_Until we see you again," Caius hissed._

I did take their advice that day. I followed my heart. Whether the brothers were real, or just a figment of my imagination caused by the damage to my brain, I learned something from them either way.

My first priority, besides getting well, was repairing my strained relationship with Bella. We both wanted our relationship to work, and we both worked hard on it. After seeing her in my mind, dying countess times, I knew that I could never take her for granted ever again. And I never did.

After she held my hand through radiation, chemotherapy, and two additional surgeries, I spent the rest of my time worshiping the ground she walked on. We were married a little over six years ago, and five years ago to the day she gave me my two little beautiful girls.

I'll never know if my experiences with Aro were real, but either way I didn't regret them. I learned to cherish life, and most of all, the people around me- my family.

"Daddy?" Renee asked me again, and I realized I never answered her difficult question. "Can Aunty Rose-lee come play with us?" I looked up to see my mother, wide-eyed and speechless as she waited for me to answer. Her expression was one of grief, and one of fear, as she worried I would relapse into my obsession with traveling in time in order to save her.

"No, baby," I whispered, and I watched as my mother breathed a sigh of relief. "She can't come back, but if she could, I bet she would love you very much."

"Party time," Bella called, oblivious to our difficult conversation. I could faintly hear the screeches of Renee and Esme's classmates coming from the backyard, which Bella and Emmett spent most of the morning decorating. I was grateful for the brief reprieve, though I knew that I would have to sit down with my girls later and really discuss what it meant to die, and why their aunt was no longer part of our lives.

As I stared at the photo, I felt Bella come up behind me and place both hands on my shoulders. She carefully took the picture from my hands and placed it on the mantle, before kneeling before me and kissing me softly. "We'll get a nice frame for it tomorrow."

I silently thanked her with my eyes, for her silent strength. She retrieved my crutches and helped me to a standing position. She walked patiently at my side, matching my pace, until we joined our daughters in the kitchen.

Some time later, Bella stood by my side as we watched Emmett and Jasper lead a group of hyperactive five-year-olds through a rousing game of kickball. I watched with just a hint of longing, wishing that I could be out there with them.

Bella wrapped her arm around me as we watched the kids play.

"I can't believe they're five already. Before we know it, they'll be driving and dating."

"Over my dead body," I muttered, causing Bella to chuckle softly.

"They're so perfect," she whispered. "I swear, if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing."

I didn't have to think twice before responding in kind. "Me neither. I wouldn't change one thing."


End file.
